GIRL STUFF MEME

Foundation:
Never bother with it except if there are going to be strong lights in which case Selley's ultra-fine finish poly filler is excellent.

Mascara:
Essential. It's a fact of life that old age brings grey hair and that means all hair including eyelashes. Never mind those fiddly lash wands, buy a yard broom.

Day Cream:
Day, hour, minute cream, litres of it. Doesn't work over a certain age but makes you feel virtuous for trying to stem the advancing tide of wrinkles.

Essential Beauty Product:
I suppose they mean beside money. Soothing eye cream, without which my peepers look like two proverbials in the snow.

Favourite Makeup Product:
Money? Lipstick, copper or bronze with built in pheromones.

Perfume:
Never go to bed without it. YSL's Opium. Expensive, very expensive. Birthday coming up. Hint.

Nails:
Karma again. I used to be overly proud of my long shapely nails but the older one gets the more calcium the body chucks away so now I'm left with sheared off stumpy crappy nails which split and crack so Araldyte gives a nice shiny finish.

Hands:
Huzzah!! Sarah Jessica Parker and Madonna have worse hands than me. I try to keep them out of washing up water, washing floor water or hanging out wet washing. You shouldn't handle dirty money either, use a credit card. Don't use hand lotion, lets the men slip through your fingers too easily.

Feet:
Yeah, still got two and all the defects are hidden inside flat heeled grannyboots. They're also my fat measure rule. If I can't reach to put nail polish on, I need to lose some or I could just stand up and let gravity guide my hand to each toe. Yes, I cheat.

Three products to bring on a deserted island:
Bombay Sapphire, soda water and a crystal glass. Bombay is an absolute beauty must. If I drink enough, I'll look fabulous, in any mirror, on any island.

Women I admire for their beauty:
I'll go for Aussies. Jennifer Hawkins. Anyone who can lose their dress while wearing a thong and still laugh while looking good is a winner. Maggie Taberer, fat and fabulous and loving her age.

Woman with the best sense of style:
I'm going for Her Maj. here. Age appropriate dressing and doesn't need a stylist to tell her what tiara to put on. She can still wear a dress beaded with 10kgs of bling and float. The woman's a legend.

My ultimate dream:
To wake up on my birthday and find out the Goddess has given me the body of Elle, the combined IQ of several well-known bloggers and taken 20 years off my age.

How do I define Womanhood:
Comfortable shoes with men firmly under the heel.

Favourite fashion publication:
Bunnings sale catalogue, has everything I need.