Some people leave footprints on our heart.
Cats leave fur on our sweaters.
Dogs leave drool on our shoes.
Families will crap on our doorstep.
So when life gives you crap, garden it and make roses.
Ooh yes! Please feed that stick insect a burger and fries, then hold her down so she doesn't vomit them up again. I get that thinner is healthier, but that's going too far. She looks like she's been ill a long time.
"Ooh yes! Please feed that stick insect a burger and fries, then hold her down so she doesn't vomit them up again."River, considering the mating habits of preying mantises that's sage advice to any portable dessert.
Please feed the stick insect or please feed the stick insect to some rabid canine? :P
River, I've heard she lives on seaweed soup and strawberries. I tells ya, that's not living.Tell us Hip, do you have a favourite portable dessert?Jayne, a rabid canary would do her in.
The "stick insect" isn't that thin. She reminds me of most japanese womans appearances forsaking an unhealthy diet.....pre Mc american fat burgers and processed daily diets.Is that really Rachel Hunter? Gee! Morgana.
Yep. A comfortably hippy hippy. A sort of a portly portable with a teensy weakness for neck rubs. I'm keeping my head.
"Stick insect. Please feed."No...please don't. The sooner that talentless old tart is dead the better...although no doubt it'll result in two weeks of national mourning, lots of flowers and balloons outside Hyde Park and a crowd of tearful, brain-dead cretins holding candles up to the television news cameras. Perhaps this time, when they've got every such simpering, mindless twat in the country in one place again, they'll do the practical thing and drop a bomb on 'em.Please note...women should have curves. Men don't like xylohone chested bulemics. Such creatures are created by Women's gossip magazines. Despite the fact that women always blame men for lusting after such disgusting freaks, in reality men want women to look like women. The current trend on American programmes for anorexic skanks who are little more than skeletons with skin draped over them, is completely repulsive. If men wanted to shag thin, wiry androgenous creatures with no tits, and no hips, they'd all become priests and form a boys' choir.
If the strawberries were dipped in chocolate maybe she'd gain an ounce or two....anonymous--I've seen thin Japanese women too, but they looked a little healthier, with curves in the right places, small ones, but still curves, and no visible ribs, no jutting out hip bones.r.h.--coming on a bit strong there..although you are right of course. Boy diddlers join preisthoods and become scout masters etc because it gives them the access they're after.
"Hughes you stupid cunt, little-boy tamperers join the Priesthood because they're little-boy tamperers."Your point differing from mine Robbert how exactly?
Mr Hughes is most certainly NOT what you accused him of.Get a grip man.You go off like a rocket when anybody casts even the tiniest aspersion on Christianity.You are like a muslim fundamentalist fer godssakes.Coppy: please delete this comment when you delete Rh's.
I've accused him of nothing. You make these errors all the time. I think he's okay, but some of us get tired, that's all, of trendy attacks on priests etc, and by a bunch who claim more than anyone to hate stereotyping.-Robert.See if I'm deleted.
Robbert,I'm still not sure where you're coming from on this. I never suggested that the priesthood actually created pedophiles. Just that it was an excellent hiding place for blokes with pedophile tendencies to hang out, especially considering the number of cases that annually crop up of pedophile activity within the priesthood being covered up by the catholic authorities. Call it stereotyping if you want. I prefer to call it a narrow-minded, reactionary refusal on your behalf to recognise the hypocrisy of the religious organisation you're so fond of defending.You really are a fuck-wit, aren't you Robbert?(In the words of Mr. Polly: "Boil it up. Go on...boil it up...")
Fuck-wit. Hyphenated. Golly, first time you've been funny. Thanks for making yourself clear, pity you didn't do it in the first place, instead of assuming priests are paedophiles -to please feminist coffee trollops looking for King Kong under the bed. When I was a kid we had trouble with paedophile probation officers, and dirty old bastards hanging around the Boy's Home in Box Hill. They weren't priests.
And what about my dissertion on blokes and skinny women?Come on. Know-all.I'm getting you a perch at LP.
Deleted -by me.Greetings, River.
Absorb this darlings, it's better than TV.
Oh, alright I'm more than partial to the voluptuous type too. It appears to be unanimous.Elli McLure was an Australian actress quite prolific in the early 70s (Alvin Purple; Birds In The Bush; Matlock Police et al)She epitomized voluptuous, with a bit of hippy-chick thrown in for good measure.
"Thanks for making yourself clear, pity you didn't do it in the first place."Robbert,You're quite right.The phrase, "If men wanted to shag thin, wiry androgenous creatures with no tits, and no hips, they'd all become priests and form a boys' choir" is a bit ambiguous.Well...it is if you're a fuck-wit."And what about my dissertion on blokes and skinny women?"Ah...now you're being funny. You mean your dissert-a-tion regarding 'real' (and I'm only using the word 'real' here because you've deleted the original comment now and I vaguely recall that, however it was phrased, that was your basic implication) men prefering skinny women so that they can dominate them? Who knows? You might have a point. I prefer women to have curves in all the right places myself, not to be unhealthy looking fashion victims that'd be better suited to the extras list on a George Romero film.
Of course, there are many ways to get your head torn off . . .
I've called him names, but what's worse?Read his first paragraph. Would anyone say it's just a joke?Is wishing someone dead funny?I'd call it vicious.
Hughes, I'll be honest, you are the most boring bastard I've read on any blog. Cross my heart.Your wits will never be fucked. You don't got any.
If it comes to people getting whacked for having no talent you'd be first cab. You tedious bastard.
"Your wits will never be fucked. You don't got any."If for one moment I believed that you'd intended the irony in that statement, I'd probably laugh."Hughes, I'll be honest, you are the most boring bastard I've read on any blog."That's because, as the grammatical evidence of your rabid scrawlings demonstrate, you've never actually read any of your own comments.Ah...mug of coffee time. I'll just add some sugar and give it a good old stir...grind, clatter, grind...let's work that teaspoon...
It's hard to believe an adult person could make such juvenile comments. How old are you, forty? Fifty? Good grief. What a hopeless cunt.
I'm staying out of this.Tip-toes away.Closes door quietly.
Talking to yourself again, Robbert? That's fair enough. You're probably the only one left listening.
(I stole this.)John McCain, the Republican candidate for President, is for banning all guns in America. And at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.Then, he said into the microphone, "Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence."Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said, "Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!"
ha ha ha, I loves a bit o' gunplay.Hughes you little twerp be thankful, if it weren't for Christ I'd have killed about 10,000 people by now, you'd be one of them. It's nothing. -You're nothing. I could shoot you like flicking on a light switch. Really.
I forgot again what i was going to write after reading Hughes - wonder what the inside of his head is like - what a wit... still a smilin'If you are naturally thin you don't have a starved look - the stick one look starved and their eyes and mouth look wrong - stuff happens to the brain when there are no fats - the brain needs fat - That middle one looks great, like Zena - I used to love that show - silly me, especially when Zena's dark side came out every now and then.My mum was thin as a young woman but she had breasts and hips and a face that looked fed...how'd you like to wake up next to that bottom one - I'd be scared she might suck the blood right outs my veins.
Good heavens, what's going on in here? How did a post on curvy women and a stick insect become all confused with people insulting other people about being "little boy tamperers." Oh, hang on. It's R.H again.Thank goodness for curves on women. They're much nicer than idiots.
"...wonder what the inside of his head is like.."Middle,I have it on good authority (from the last time I had my ears syringed) that the inside of my head is all pink and gooey, not unlike my stomach only without the half-digested bacon butty doing the backstroke in the middle of it.
Hi JahTeh, nice blog. I quite like the "skinny" model you've portrayed. She can park her fluffies under my bed anytime... And so can the cuddly ones as well... I do not discriminate when it comes to whose fluffies are under my bed... Well, not on that basis, anyway... I'd better shut up now before SWMBO reads this and kills me before I can explain...Now, RH... Lad... I need to set you straight about what you said:"...if it weren't for Christ I'd have killed about 10,000 people by now, you'd be one of them. It's nothing. -You're nothing. I could shoot you like flicking on a light switch. Really."Firstly, RH,it's not Jesus who's stopping you killing, it's you. You have chosen not to kill and you say you do that in the name of Jesus. Others kill in the name of Jesus. Both types are nutters using Jesus for their own ends. No different from the Osama bin Liners of this world , really...Secondly, I've killed heathen communist scum in Vietnam in the name of Australia, Queen Elizabeth The Second, Jesus H. Christ, and Lyndon B. Johnston. Quite a few times. And it's nothing like flicking a light switch. Really. And once you've "flicked that switch", something happens inside your psyche which can never be switched off. You are in hell. You have no idea.If killing for you is as easy as flicking a switch, you are a psychopath, RH. Really.
Thank you, thank you, I kiss you all for making me laugh.
Well golly me, I'd finished with this, but will say a few words.Dear Gerald -whom I titled The Blue Mountains Foghorn, but changed my mind- you don't know what you're talking about. I was born a decent chap, and I am by nature decent, but slum training for the poor gave me practicality, which means I'm comfortable with squareheads, and the toughest criminals in this city. All on the same day. My upbringing was that honesty is for those who can afford it; and stealing is okay, never beg. The trouble with squareheads is they've no idea what crooks the police are, they are thieves, bashers, perjurers, whatever you like, and it's not isolated; it's general. Lawyers who later become judges and politicians are well aware of this, and the whole system is rotten, a game. But meanwhile the mugs are brought up believing Mr policeman is their friend, and he is, and very obsequious too, if you're a squarehead with no form, or indeed, live in a nice suburb. For instance, as witness to something recently I had to go to the local police station, and where I was treated with upmost courtesy -until they discovered I had some very distant form, whereupon I was treated like shit. You just don't know this. You don't know how it works. Meantime if my joint gets attacked, as it has been, I don't report it, because I know the police won't even bother turning up. On the other hand, if it happens in a nice part of this locale they'll be crawling all over the place. People like me have to look after themselves. And we do. I've come to realise that the lives of some people -my father for instance, are worth nothing. In the 1970s I saw a man who'd abused me as a child sitting on a park bench with another drunk, and have always regretted not killing him. I couldn't do it then, but I can now. I've had thirty years of thinking about it, about how I hesitated, and then walked on, and I feel weak over it because I'd already mixed with blokes who would straightaway have kicked him to death. But that's the carrot-cake factor, the genteel RH. What you're confused about is the difference between shooting someone who is trying to shoot you (most people will do that) and destroying someone who is not only a nuisance to himself, but an affliction on everyone. Not all lives are equal, some are stupid, talentless, dopey in the extreme. Worthless. And I know people who are mentally ill whose lives are art. I've known people of appalling callousness, nothing will change them -social science, what a donkey, believing in fantasy. My view has changed on Christ: you can break every Commandment and get into Heaven. It's not what you do, it's why you do it.
Robbert,I had a dream last night with Baby Jesus in it. He wanted me to pass on a message. He said that if you ever get a gun, rather than shooting everyone else, he wants you to stick it up your own arse and blow what's left of your tiny brain to kingdom come.He also said something about not kidding yourself about breaking the commandments and still getting into heaven. Oh yes...and something about you being a fuck-wit.Oh, look at that. My clock's stopped. Where did I put that key?
I'll tell you something you fucking maggot, ponce, no-talent bum, there are Christians I know in England, dark-skinned Christians, very interested in worthless flyshit like you. Don't ever think you're safe. You gutless cur.ha ha ha!How true.ROBBBERT!!!!!!!
Well !!! I never !!!
Nor did I. I'll say no more, leaving him to this blog, and any other that'll have him.
"I'll tell you something you fucking maggot, ponce, no-talent bum, there are Christians I know in England, dark-skinned Christians, very interested in worthless flyshit like you. Don't ever think you're safe."Jesus must be so proud of you, Robbert.Ah...there's the key. Let's see...it fits in this little hole and we give it a twist...
God, I'm laughing.just LAUGHINGThank you Linesmen, thank you BallBoys!
Hear the pennies droppingHear them as they fall.Every one for Jesus,He shall have them all.Dropping, dropping, dropping, dropping,Hear the pennies fall.Every one for Jesus,He shall have them All!!
brian bumboy said..."I know Christians in England, dark-skinned...."OH? DO YOU MEAN PAKISTANI MORMONS?CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE WOO HOO HOO, TEE HEE HEE, BACON BUTTY...BLAH BLAH SEDGERS...BLAH...I'M FUNNY.
See the pennies droppingIn Dan Murphy's tillSee Miss Brownie poppingYet another pill.
I am grateful enormously for this commenting career, or how could I get culture. And so I take it to Footscray, OH!- crowded streets!- Asians, Africans, a blonde with big tits, I take it to Camberwell -posh twats, Gucci handbags, velvet flesh, my word, untouched by LABOUR, and on to Brunswick Street, the inner suburbs: Ms unfuckable. Yes, but a 'Man in her Life', cock coming out by appointment, you bet, and then in a most tentative way.Carrot cakeFocacciaSexist maleGlass ceiling.Feminism begins at forty.
Charlie Chaplin (35) married Lillita McMurray (16) and said, "Well boys, this is better than the penitentiary but it won't last."Lillita's mother (before Charlie agreed to marriage), fainted three times at hearing Lillita was pregnant. But all she could squeeze from divorcement was $625,000.
Well that's it, that's all. This is not a mad world. What's mad in Toorak makes fine manners in Werribee. Pushers, strollers. Mortgage TV.
'brian bumboy said..."I know Christians in England, dark-skinned...."'Actually Robbert, that was your quote. What a fuck-wit.
yes bumboy, I know, the whole thing is meant to be your comment, when I find out how to do your bold type I'll be right.
Oh, I see. Very witty, Robbert. Sounded just like me. You've got a great career in imitation celebrity answer phone messages there if you follow it up.As for the bold type...look below the comments box and copy the various html tags as seen. (i.e. "Left triangular bracket, b, right triangular bracket" gives you bold type.) End the section you want to appear in bold type by adding a backward slash (i.e. left triangular bracket, backward slash, b, right triangular bracket).
Thanks. I won't be doing it.
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