Tuesday, September 16, 2008

BASIL FAWLTY REIGNS

After walking to mother's (small m for murder) and getting rained on (I knew I would) it turned into another one of those days where nothing went right.

The big chimes nearly cracked the front window. Chairs, table and bucket ended up in the yard. My little glass lanterns went but only one had the glass broken.

Then the half-flush toilet decided to have delusions of grandeur and turn into Niagara Falls. Full flush turned the water off but not the half. After giving it a good thrashing, ala Basil, it still flowed and flowed.

There are times when one does stand and feel like an idiot. When one takes off the lid of the cistern and nothing..... I mean what do you do with a cistern, besides swearing at it and asking it what's wrong.

A bit of a poke provoked Niagara again. Poking the other end brought on bubbles and a gurgle.
So I looked a bit further in. Memo to self, never, never do that again. There's an ecosystem in the cistern. I have enough trouble cleaning the bowl. Who cleans the cistern?

So look upon me, destroyer of worlds inhabited by strange little algae things. Half a bottle of White King, the cleaning woman's version of Napalm and the cistern should be right. Should be, because I'm not game to look.

10 comments:

Lord Sedgwick said...

So much for the cisternhood.

Have always thought that feminism never had the ballcocks.

Andrew said...

So your algae encrusted cistern is now ok? They are actually quite simple to fix.....well, the old ones were.

Brian Hughes said...

"Poking the other end brought on bubbles and a gurgle."

Sounds like you've got a full-bloodied sealion stuck in the U bend.

Jayne said...

Go for a new cistern... or try a hammer on the old one.
It won't fix anything but household insurance might believe you if you tell 'em a wild and woolly polar bear was trying to fish from it.

River said...

Go to your rest hardware store and describe the cistern problem. They will tell you what might be wrong with it and sell you the necessary parts to fix it. They'll even give you a handy little instruction sheet if you need one. If the problem still looks too hard, call a plumber. Make sure you get a cute one, easy on the eyes, have him send the bill to your mother. After all, it's HER toilet.

JahTeh said...

Sedgwick, if you were half the gentleman you make out to be you'd be down here fixing it.

Hot Andrew, it's not fixed and if there are dead things in there, they can stay. It was worse than looking in the bottom of the fridge.

Fleetwood, my U bend is in pristine condition sans wildlife.

Jayne, I can't see why the half flush wouldn't work. I'm certainly not putting my hand in to see if anything's fallen off.

River, that's very involved and it will cost money so I'm using the full flush. It doesn't matter how cute the plumber is, he's expensive and it's my toilet not the old girl's. Her's gets blocked by tree roots from next door and I'm smart enough now to ring S.E. Water and send them to the neighbours and they get charged.

Lord Sedgwick said...

"Sedgwick, if you were half the gentleman you make out to be you'd be down here fixing it."

Crikey Coppertop, I have enough trouble organising me own plumbing without having to sort out your You tubes and down pipes.

JahTeh said...

Well Really! That's the last Magnum wrapper you'll get from me.

Lord Sedgwick said...

Bugger! There goes my image as a chick magnum.

Middle Child said...

I'm out of town on a septic so have to be careful and not use bleach - if you get cheap vinegar - frimm IGA you can get a large bottle for about $1.30 and a big bog of bicarb of soda...out a cup of the powder and asloch of the other down it takes away smells etc and may get rid of build up stuff - works here