Friday, November 21, 2008

EARLY MORNING RISER

There I was this morning, in bed, warm, just had an early morning pee, settling in for another hour's sleep. You know that sleep where you just drift away in a cocoon because it's warm and you're empty.

RING RING

Me: What?

Ma: What time is it? I can't seem to make out what the clock's doing.

Me: 7 bloody 15.

Ma: Now I can see what it says.

Me: I bought you a clock with big letters, what's wrong with it?

Ma: It ticks too loud.

Me: @%*~^

Ma: I think I got up before but I can't remember if I pressed the button and if I didn't do that then I didn't put the fire on for the cat.

Me: Terrific, we owe $400 on the gas bill and you're putting it on for the cat.

Ma: Well I do have my breakfast in there. Is it cold? What does the sky look like? My blinds aren't open.

Me: It's grey, it's cold and storms are forecast.

Ma: I'll be cold, I'd better put the fire on. CLUNK.

And after that I got up and cut down the last branch before the predicted storm. It was so top heavy with spindly branches and leaves I could barely drag it through the double gates. After that I went back to bed for a very long time.

I hurt now, again.

5.05 pm and it still hasn't stormed.

8 comments:

Miles McClagan said...

That cat gets a fire and all I can afford to do to keep warm is stick another jumper on? It aint right I tells ya...

Jayne said...

Coz the elderly can justify putting the heater on for others but not for themselves ;)

Middle Child said...

I think somehow that that cat would be fine without the heater...they came down on the convict ships from frosty England didn't they?

R2K said...

: )

JahTeh said...

That's what happens when you live at the arse end of the world, Miles. You'll just have to shove a couple of penguins up that extra jumper.

Jayne, she puts the fire on and forgets she has a fan heater in the bedroom which I usually remind her of. She says the woollen doona is too heavy so she sleeps with two dressing gowns on. No-one is admitting to putting the mohair rug over her the other night so she reckons it was angels looking after her.

Therese, Lucy is 13 and is so tiny she looks like a kitten and being warm outweighs food with her.

R2K, smile is right otherwise I'd be weighing up the rat poison.

River said...

The thing to do is lift the receiver and put it down on a towel to muffle the speaker then go back to sleep.
The heater thing is weird. All winter long my hubby would suffer the cold all day and put the heater on when I got home from work because I deserved comfort and he didn't. Then just yesterday it was a bit colder than it has been lately, so instead of putting a jumper on over his t-shirt, he got up and put the heater on...

JahTeh said...

River, much better is to pour water into a glass, then she needs to pee.
Regarding husband, any change of habit should be investigated as it could mean a malignant brain tumour or a new sheila.

River said...

Nah, he's just differently wired. And he's a bit more stressed than usual. He's (unemployable because of his mental health) applied for a government funded training course which starts tomorrow, he's a little panicky. He's done this before, but never progressed as far as he has this time.