Monday, January 05, 2009

ANOTHER REPORT FROM SPOOK CENTRAL

As usual it's Mothering Monday.

Aunt Selma is still in I.C.U.

And Mother tells me today that she nearly went last week.

*Gasp* Bugger, only nearly?

She was walking to the bathroom and in a great deal of pain and a blackness settled all around her. She said to herself, "this must be the way you die."

But she didn't because she could feel someone pushing her back from the darkness.

That would be the afternoon she rang sounding a bit panic stricken. With my usual sensitivity, I told her to take two asprin and call me in the morning.

It must be true though because she really didn't like talking about it today.

If I find out who was doing the pushing, they're going straight down to the hot place.

13 comments:

Ann oDyne said...

get her into the bed next to Selma.
convince the admin on compassionate grounds
"loving sisters
separated by bureaucracy
who may never see each other again if you don't relent/comply"
etc etc

and please put your feet up.
mwah mwah

JahTeh said...

My feet are up or will be. Dear Aunt Selma, so competative she would want the first funeral off the rank. Bloody woman, you've changed your name again.

Caroline said...

Hasn't finished with you yet!

Jayne said...

Damn shame they aren't joined at the hip....but with a little Liquid Nails....

Ann oDyne said...

Antikva blogger, our artistic pal, ate a bag of chips and had anaphylactic reaction that sent her to Casualty. On top of Christmas and Moving House she is fairly strung out right now but sends her regards.
Re Spook Central: you will enjoy reading a novel on this which is dedicated to James Randi and Richard Dawkins - 'Attack Of The Unsinkable Rubber Ducks' by my hero Christopher Brookmyre.
You may have seen on TV his
'Quite Ugly One Morning' set in Glasgow and the protagonist played by James Nesbitt
(the punky version of John Hannah).

anyhow, Be Cool

River said...

Only nearly? Bugger indeed. Not that I usually wish someone dead, but....well....okay I'll shut up now.


Hee-hee, word verification is varmu. Vamoose anyone?

JahTeh said...

Caroline, I asked her about it again this morning and she couldn't remember it.

Jayne, identical twins quite often go together but Selma's out of i.c.u. and on the mend.

Annie O, I saw that post but she didn't say what brand it was. The world's a mess when you can't trust the potato crisps.
James Randi gives me the pip, his mind is so closed it could be an iron curtain. Dawkins isn't far behind.

River, it will be the most inconvenient moment when she falls off the twig. It had better not be the 18th when I'm in Bendigo having a good time.

Ann oDyne said...

yes exactly - that's what an 'unsinkable rubber duck' is - it doesn't matter how much you tell em they aint listening.

It's a funny book and sticks it to the Jhovahs too - he calls them Flatnoses (from slamming front doors)

JahTeh said...

The best way to get rid of the 'Witlesses' is to put a nice big blood donor sticker on the window.

Ann oDyne said...

they be smarter n that.
I showed them my blood donor card listing my 11 donations and they whipped out their special leaflet about it.

River said...

I heard once that if you mention you're too busy to listen to them because you have so much housework to do, they'll offer to come in and help you do it, just so they can bend your ears for a couple of hours and try to convert you. I never did try out that theory.

Middle Child said...

All I can say is "My best wishes"

R.H. said...

Four comments from Miss Brownie.
Good Grief!
How many is she allowed to have?