Saturday, January 03, 2009


I want a gold medal for the last two days.
I want a silver medal for the three days of cleaning the house before those two days.

Granddaughters are more beautiful than ever. They speak well without any Americanisms or if they do, they leave it for their friends.

We did the mummy visit yesterday. They talked to her while I did the washing and the lunch and the putting clothes away thing. Mum decided to go through the wardrobes and do something with the clothes that no longer fit. They were mostly on the floor when I arrived because she hasn't got the strength to carry them from one wardrobe to the next. That was a bit of a shock to her. Also a shock, Aunt Selma is in i.c.u. with heart problems which is just like her to want to beat her twin to Heaven. She's churchy and believes in clouds, harps and angels.

After the girls had a rest with a DVD and an hour on SMS contacting the entire population of Queensland, I suggested walking to the DFO across the park.
This makes me officially insane. I forgot we had to walk back.
After doing the shops with two shopaholic teenagers who have an eye for a bargain that would make Scrooge McDuck look like a spendthrift, my feet were at least 3 yards behind me as I staggered from seat to seat.

At one store (no seat outside) I waited for 20 minutes for GD2 to come out of the change room. When she did, "Doesn't this look great?" and "Yes it does", out loud, mentally it was "Now get back in the change room and put clothes on". When did a 13 year old grow a rack like that? I scanned the shop for bug-eyed boys with castration in my heart but melted when the shop assistant mentioned that my daughters were lovely looking. It killed me to say 'granddaughters'.

We did over jeans, shoes, tops and, just for me, a jewellery store. Two cans of Red Bull helped the failing stamina. The total haul was modest in dollars if not in coverage. They've got good taste. GD1 was a bit worried that the black petticoat was too short under the see-through dress so Grannie of the Threads lost eyesight stitching a row of 6 inch deep black and silver lace to it.

I was staggering just a bit on the way home. GD2 was skipping, jumping and twirling. GD1 was attempting to keep me from falling off the path. At the bottom of the street I lost feeling above the knee caps but below the bladder which was threatening to become a spillway over a dam. I sent the girls on to the shop for ice-cream and potato crisps for tea (bwca, they love vinegar&salt) while I made a snails crawl for the bathroom. I cooked a shocking tea, cooking skills get drowned in pain but after liberal applications of both tomato sauce and mayonnaise, it was eaten.

Then I did it again this morning. We walked to Nando's for lunch and then on to the hospital to see my sister but we got a lift home, joy. They went off to a cousin's about four but I might see them again before they leave. Usually I'm disappointed that they watch TV or stay on the computer but I know why they do that now. I'm the rest stop where they don't have to do anything except relax. No hassles, no problems, no being made to be sociable, no dishes, no showers if they don't want to and back to back DVD watching.

And their Grandfather? Well he's up country visiting the Blonde's family and I couldn't give a stuff. I had a better time than he's having and the girls didn't care either.


River said...

Sounds to me like you are the perfect grandmother. Here's an idea for their next visit. Hire a wheelchair and they can push you all around the shops. I did this one year when my mum came to visit and she couldn't walk more than about 30 feet without needing to sit for a minute. She thought the wheelchair was a great idea, she held bought items on her lap or hung them off the handles of the thing.

anodyne Brownie said...

No doubt about it, medals earned and deserved for action above and beyond etc etc.
GOLD medal DFO and Bar.

The lace was an absolute bravura grandmother performance.

I hope your feet are up.

Andrew said...

They remind me of our dyke friend's teen nieces from Tassie who we had here on NYE. Except, yours sound more sociable and less sullen.

Jayne said...

Sounds like a fab day out with your grandgirls, J.
And you loved every last painful inch of it ;)

JahTeh said...

River, Mum has a two basket trolley just sitting in the sewing room and I should bring it home for DFO wanderings. It's always better to be hanging off something rather than staggering from side to side.

Bwca, the footstool is covered in expensive English linen and my feet look fine on it. I have a replacement table for you with a lush cloth for the booze bottle.
If you think a daily stroll to the DFO would be good for our diet, think again.

Andrew, my precioussess sullen? Not only did GD2 skip, jump and twirl home, she talked non-stop. They don't have time for sullen even about my cooking.

Jayne, I never thought much of the word 'chill' but that's what they do here. They're pretty good about spending money, if I'm buying they add up and make sure they've both spending the same amount even if it's two or three items.