Wednesday, June 24, 2009

DON'T MAKE A RUT IN THE ROAD INTO THE GRAND CANYON SO SAID MY STARS FOR THIS WEEK

The last few days have been a little strange to say the least.
Actually it's been brain sucking out through the ears strange.
Mother, of course.

But last night was not her fault.
I'm still trying to sort out exactly what went wrong after totally discarding Mother's version.

Neighbour next door notices sewerage coming up through the house toilets.
Rings South East Water who send a team to investigate.

(I should say here that Mother has been complaining about her toilet but because it involved the BrickOutHouse's girlfriend who she hates, we didn't take much notice.)

The team apparently ruptured the gas pipe. In the afternoon, night, light, dark, I haven't got that information.
So with sewerage there is now gas coming up through the toilets along with a lot of smell.

When I got the call, it was dark which is when that side of the street is evacuated in the lights of several fire engines. I wasn't there, I couldn't have got there since the roads were blocked off so I missed the excitement of getting mother out of the house.

I missed the wheelchair. I missed the looking for her flashlight (there weren't any lights apart from the umpteen fire engines which to mother didn't count). I missed the refusal to leave without all her medication. I missed the getting her and the wheelchair up one step into my sister's flat across the road which took two heaving and one pushing from behind.

I missed the three minute deluge which was the only rain for the day and night but hit her right on the head and got the heavers and pusher as well.

Sister made her a cup of tea to warm her up which she promptly dropped down her chest. Sister propped her in front of the split system air conditioner because no-one was allowed back into the house for dry clothes.

Panic stricken BrickOutHouse makes an appearance after running into the road block. Grandmother is safe but DIDN'T ANYBODY GET HIS CAT OUT? Defies commonsense and belts across the road to find the cat is sitting on the couch watching the pretty lights shinning in the window.

Neighbour of 50 years is playing to the gallery so an ambulance is called which she then refuses to use because they won't take her dog. Her house is apparently flooded with crap and my mother says it couldn't happen to a nicer person.

By 10.30 Mother is back home in bed but no gas fire or hot water.

It's 4.35 Wednesday and still no gas and no information as to when and if anyone is going to light the pilot lights and make sure all is safe.

Of course, all this could be a figment of my imagination.

I have a headache.

12 comments:

Brian Hughes said...

"...which is when that side of the street is evacuated..."

Good choice of words under the circumstances.

Miles McClagan said...

The cats are ALWAYS fine...

They will inherit the earth...

River said...

Houses full of sewerage and gas? What the heck is going on down there? Hopefully the problems will be fixed very quickly. Is your mother still without gas or hot water?

Andrew said...

I leave Melbourne and all this excitement happens.

Andrew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bwca Brownie said...

bless your heart dear Coppy
I dont know whether to laugh or weep,

and I guess you have mixed emotions too. very.

OTOH all that hysteria is just what She needs. entertainment.
bet Sis needed more than a cup of tea.

Jayne said...

Crikey Moses and Nev the concrete koala!
So....shit really hit the fan, eh?

R.H. said...

I was in Thornbury when it came down, with some brief thunder as well, it was all unexpected. That's a funny business with mother and the wheelchair, but it got her out of the house for a while anyway, routine is dreadful.

Mindy said...

Who cursed you to live in interesting times?

JahTeh said...

Don't think that thought hadn't crossed my mind.

Miles, I'm surprised it was sitting and not dragging it's bag of cat food to safety.

River, gas is back on although no-one has been around to inspect and the smell has gone from the house.

And not a word on the nightly news, Cameraface. Bloody Turnbull hogging the limelight.

Bwca, she now knows how hard it would be to leave the house and will stop complaining. She was exhausted just getting into and out of the wheelchair. Sister had a beer or three.

Jayne, it all happened so quickly but I'm still laughing at my nephew braving all to check on his cat.

Robbert, the rain just had to drop at that very moment. She's only just warming up now but that could be the vanilla custard sponge she hoovered down with a cup of tea this afternoon.

Mindy, at my age I expected to be graciously lolling about on some velvet lounge being served exotic tidbits by exotically undressed gorgeous men.
I know I'm going to Hell but I expected to die first.

Middle Child said...

Do you need a panadol, or something stronger?

Caz said...

hey do you have gas etc now? just read the post but everyone should know that you can invoke an 'emergency situation' with your gas supplier. No one should be shut off for a significant period of time. Check to see if it was logged as an 'incident' and get it escalated. Tell them you have no hot water or heating. they must act