The last few days have been a little strange to say the least.
Actually it's been brain sucking out through the ears strange.
Mother, of course.
But last night was not her fault.
I'm still trying to sort out exactly what went wrong after totally discarding Mother's version.
Neighbour next door notices sewerage coming up through the house toilets.
Rings South East Water who send a team to investigate.
(I should say here that Mother has been complaining about her toilet but because it involved the BrickOutHouse's girlfriend who she hates, we didn't take much notice.)
The team apparently ruptured the gas pipe. In the afternoon, night, light, dark, I haven't got that information.
So with sewerage there is now gas coming up through the toilets along with a lot of smell.
When I got the call, it was dark which is when that side of the street is evacuated in the lights of several fire engines. I wasn't there, I couldn't have got there since the roads were blocked off so I missed the excitement of getting mother out of the house.
I missed the wheelchair. I missed the looking for her flashlight (there weren't any lights apart from the umpteen fire engines which to mother didn't count). I missed the refusal to leave without all her medication. I missed the getting her and the wheelchair up one step into my sister's flat across the road which took two heaving and one pushing from behind.
I missed the three minute deluge which was the only rain for the day and night but hit her right on the head and got the heavers and pusher as well.
Sister made her a cup of tea to warm her up which she promptly dropped down her chest. Sister propped her in front of the split system air conditioner because no-one was allowed back into the house for dry clothes.
Panic stricken BrickOutHouse makes an appearance after running into the road block. Grandmother is safe but DIDN'T ANYBODY GET HIS CAT OUT? Defies commonsense and belts across the road to find the cat is sitting on the couch watching the pretty lights shinning in the window.
Neighbour of 50 years is playing to the gallery so an ambulance is called which she then refuses to use because they won't take her dog. Her house is apparently flooded with crap and my mother says it couldn't happen to a nicer person.
By 10.30 Mother is back home in bed but no gas fire or hot water.
It's 4.35 Wednesday and still no gas and no information as to when and if anyone is going to light the pilot lights and make sure all is safe.
Of course, all this could be a figment of my imagination.
I have a headache.