Friday, June 05, 2009


Just in case you lot think my stress is just a minor glitch in my life plan.

I sat down this afternoon to finally sew up the hems on my new dresses which have been hanging on the wardrobe door for three weeks now.

Thread the needle, tension's fine, foot to the pedal.

Nothing, nada, no response. I can't believe it. The machine's just been repaired.

My feet are pedalling like crazy and nothing's moving.

Oh, I see, my feet are pedalling like crazy.

My electric machine sits on the old treadle machine and there are the feet, treadling away like crazy.

Pathetic, honestly.


River said...

According to my high school sewing class teacher, all hems should be sewn by hand anyway. I'll send her to do yours, as soon as I locate her. Wonder how old the old bat is now? you've probably finished them by now though.

Andrew said...

You didn't did you? What a laugh. Good exercise for your legs I suppose.

Brian Hughes said...

So...Alzheimers it is then.

Jayne said...

How are the hems and new frocks from The House of Madame J ?

JahTeh said...

River, it seems we had the same sewing teacher. The dresses are made of tracksuiting so I put lace around the hem then hand sew, it's less bulk and the last thing I need is bulk. Now I just have to finish the dressinggown I started last winter.

Andrew, same thing with the washing machine when I turned everything on except the knob around to wash.

Brian, you have to have a brain for that and mine is currently being siphoned off by the madness of mother.

Jayne, frocks are still hanging on the wardrobe but the hems are ready to go. I wasn't sure about making this pattern in tracksuiting, that is fleecy but it's worked out well. I used a patterned cotton for the v-neck and cuffs. I even put pockets in the side.

R.H. said...

Hi. I've put my Marilyn Monroe tie on to type this, it looks a bit funny with track pants and thongs but I can get away with it.

Make sure the pockets are big enough to hold a boston bun.

JahTeh said...

And melt the icing, are you crazy?

The tie would complete the outfit, a gentleman always wears a tie even with thongs.

R.H. said...

Sunday and fucking grey sky and every mug worried about bullshit called pigflu invented by the Commonwealth Bank saying keep paying or you'll fucking die! Capitalist stooge brumby not wanting to hurt clip-joint nightclubs run by dirty pimps and prostitutes where Australian youth gets dissipated robbed bashed and fucked right up. Latte fanny rag Marc Scott queer-loving chairman of the bumfuck ABC still keeping his job after making fun of dying kids. OH!- HOW AMUSING!- AND HOW ONE FORGETS!: little Bearded-Boy worker's mate Gareth Andrews caught fucking Cheryl Kernot of the Democrats who brought in the GST to fuck you all! ha ha. HELLO SUCKERS!- where's your latte heroes now? Meanwhile cunning OLD SOW from Williamstown Nicola Roxon looking a frump in opposition gets instant smart hairdo with million-dollar wardrobe straight after landing her fat arse on front benches as MISTRESS OF HEALTH. Golly. Right. HELLO SUCKERS! Now watch as she becomes a frump again in time for re-election when the SOCIALIST LABOR PARTY (big joke) begs to serve Harvey Norman three more years. Yes indeed. Well maybe she'll get a street named after her near Piggy's JOAN KIRNER DRIVE in the centre of that balls-up million-dollar housing enclave in NOO-PORT! She won't get Kirner Community Centre that's for sure because Piggy's got that already along with many more capitalist-dog honours. GO PIGGY! Mind you a while back you could have voted for JANET RICE the GREENY on Maribyrnong council whose husband to the delight of her and her kids TURNED INTO A WOMAN! ha ha ha. Meanwhile (would you believe) this very earnest battler's mate council full of feminist unfuckables and castrated men have let huge blocks of ap-a-a-a-rtments be planted RIGHT ON THE BANK OF THE MARIBYRNONG RIVER shutting it off from THE MUG PUBLIC. How's that. Not bad. British Landlords in Old Ireland did no better.
Well Brumby, Kernot, Roxon, Rice, MARC SCOTT....I'll tell you something, you wouldn't get jobs as dogcatchers in Europe. A Europe you love so much. Australia is the arsehole of this world alright, and you're the shit that comes out of it.

House of Dior.

JahTeh said...

Let it all out Robbert, otherwise you'll turn into a serial killer or worse, a serial commenter.

R.H. said...

I just read through all that and I'm astonished how true it is. Hypnotic prose, that's what it is, start reading and you can't stop ha ha ha. Pizzeria di ciccio tonight Altona North and I'm an anomaly among enthusiasts watching kickbox wrestling on Foxtel and around ten oclock an Indian walks in wearing pyjamas, orders a takeaway and goes out again. (What? Is this bloke sleepwalking?) So Rocco takes it out to where he's sitting in his car just behind the big black Lincoln Continental belonging to Chairman of the Werribee long table who's eating some cheese thing he went behind the counter and cooked for himself. Wooh! Strange world. That's right. Stay home and you'll miss something.

JahTeh said...

That's right Rh, stay home and some moron rings at 1 am and gives me a minor heart attack. It was not funny.

Middle Child said...

his is the best laugh I have had all day and i thank you for it. The image of your doing that will stay in my head for a while...whata hoot...Is brian hughes right or no???