Saturday, August 08, 2009

WHEN I'M AN OLD LADY, I SHALL WEAR PURPLE


And hair extensions
and flimsy clothes
and jewellery
and keep three plastic surgeons in luxury

17 comments:

River said...

Like the TV ad says, don't wait to be old to wear purple.

Kath Lockett said...

I'm not seeing the globular sceptre thing on the stick as being very practical though. Surely you'd want something with spikes on the end, to jab at annoying teenagers and rude waiters?

Lad Litter said...

Aren't reheads sup[posed to wear green? The royal colour is sure to suit your demeanour, if not your colouring.

Brian Hughes said...

Singing: 'A witch's staff has a knob on the end, a knob on the end, a knob on the end...etc.'

Jayne said...

Old?
Old?
OLD???
Didn't you get the memo from management?
We eliminated that a few months back, no one is "old" anymore.
Just the age they want to feel ;)

R.H. said...

What's wrong with this.

Comment one:
Australian writers are all conformity, conservatism -except when J.F. Archibald became King Lear in Callan Park mental hospital:

"Hullo, old man, I'm glad you've come. Let me introduce you to my wife" - pointing to Miss McMath. "Did you ever see a finer girl than that? Look here, old man, I engage you at one thousand pounds a year for my new paper 'The Jumping sheet', and we'll make things hum. We'll get all the best poets, all the best writers in the world to contribute, I'll tell you the motto of the paper - 'In God we trust, and in our knife'. Look here, old man, I feel so strong. Just feel that muscle."
He offered me his arm, and I felt the muscle - hard enough - but the poor fellow is only skin and bone.
(A.G. Stephens)*

*The Archibald Paradox.
-Sylvia Lawson.

Comment two:
Nice photo (if I may). Good looking.

No wonder you had trouble in that cab.

-----------------------------------

Comments posted by Loverboy Mr X, and deleted by old pussy Miss Pavlov.

Well darlings there's something wrong with me or else with the people in this fucked up country, and especially with dopes who can't write at all but consider themselves doctors and professors of literature. And what do they gush over? -boring old bumboy patrick white, who to tell the truth is fucking unreadable!

Liars, hypocrites, obedient fools.

Bums.

Crawlers.

Davo said...

When I'm an old bloke .. will just be ME.

Davo said...

Jayne, am still hanging on to the ancient [probably "sexist"] notion that a bloke is as young as the woman he feels. On the other hand (am ambidextrous) it's probably all in the mind .. heh.

Davo said...

Shit, Hughes is back .. (mumbles into insignicance).

Davo said...

*insignificance

9one of these days wil figure ou how to type this shit

R.H. said...

On the bottle again.

You old cunt!

Davo said...

Jen; looks as if I missed out on the the great global handouts. Right now I need a secretary. "Secretary," I could say; "Shorthanded as we are. Take this down".

Davo said...

Um, Robert, would be careful with the epithet "old cunt". Don't have one; though sort of appreciate the compliment.

R.H. said...

heh.

Take a letter Miss Smith. "Only no-talent bums have ever deleted my comments. That is true. The artistic see their value, dullards do not. When an ageing woman who wouldn't say shit for sixpence hints that a geriatric professor went the grope on her in the back seat of a taxi what am I to think? Good heavens!
When you open The Tree of Man in a library and a condom falls out do you blame the book? How do you get fair critique?
These bunnies are not honest, that's what I'm saying. They are jealous -enormously jealous!- of my talent! And that's all."

Thank you Miss Smith.

Just sign it:

-ROBBERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R.H. said...

I'm sorry I said that about Patrick White. He was a decent bloke.

JahTeh said...

River, I was born to the purple, I was just exchanged at birth with some poor person.

Kath, That's an insertion globular sceptre, there's no point in just jabbing annoying teenagers. They need extreme measures.

Lad Litter, Green velvet has a part in my wardrobe unfortunately my wardrobe doesn't have a social life.

Speaking of knobs, Fleetwood's full of 'em.

Jayne, quite right, anyone know how old Daniel Craig is? He's just right for feeling.

Robbert, don't talk to me about cabs. The driver yesterday asked if I'd thought about losing weight then carried on because I didn't have anything smaller than a $20 note. I could have used a globular insertion sceptre at that moment.

Nice to see you Davo, the gerbil in the wheel must be working overtime.

Rh, I think you might be too late with the apologies but I find Patrick White hard to read.

Middle Child said...

And you forgot "spit on the sidewalk" love this poem...and I shall drink as much as I like and have someone to make sure I don't fall down