Thursday, December 24, 2009


Up again, 1.30 in the am and all because I couldn't be bothered grabbing the washing basket to bring the clothes in off the line. I just unpegged them and threw them across my shoulder which is how I was bitten by a spider just above the left one. It is itching like crazy even with Teatree oil applied. I missed a bite by the black spider in the letter box and I don't have to worry about that one anymore given the size of the huntsman that came out on the top letter this afternoon so it's spider season.
I'm not happy about this. Spider bites have been a worry ever since I watched that movie 'The Believers' where the bite on the star's face came up nice a red then hatched a million baby spiders out of her cheek. If this bite starts getting lumpy then I'll be ready to do a Ripley with something flaming.

My sister is black and blue. She fell from the chest of drawers, hit the bookcase, bounced, hit the bedside table and ended up jammed into a very small space. So much for washing down walls. She has strong bones, no broken hip, no cracked spine, just shock and technicolour bruises.

My mother is furious, my sister is furious and so am I. A family friend has apparently been in contact with Aunt Selma and been reporting about our behaviour for the past year. Not to mention that somehow he has managed to find out how much we sold the house for and told the hag. Even Aunt Patty was furious that he turned up at the home yesterday, invited by Aunt Selma who neglected to tell mother. So mother's marbles are in good order at the moment but as anyone who's been reading this blog will know, she was absolutely nuts for most of 2009 and this idiot has been telling Goddess know what to the moron of a sister.

I found out all of this when I arrived at the home at 9.10, loaded with hand held phone, bloody parrot bells, Christmas cards and Pavarotti videos. I was so early because of the heat and I was home by 11 but my heat didn't go down until I stopped fuming about the viper in the nest. It didn't help getting a letter from the solicitor setting out all the things I have to do before settlement day. My sister informs me that on top of everything else, we have a flea plague and the house will have to be fleabombed. At least, she's come around to my suggestion that I hire a truck and get everything here in one hit and dispose of it later. So if anyone wants a white Queen Anne dressing table with wing mirrors, email me. I also have a pine kitchen table with white painted legs and matching chairs and a slightly knocked about but still good 3 seater leather lounge with two matching chairs, sage green colour. They're free, you only have to pick them up. The cat is not for sale, ut and uts fleas are belong to me.


Elisabeth said...

Good grief, can anything more go wrong in your life, JahTeh? It's a wonder you can keep smiling and blogging.

I have never been bitten by a spider in my life as far as I know, at ;east not literally, and that image you offer him from the movie, all those baby spiders hatching from her cheek - yukk - I never want to be.

What more can I say? A simple trip to collect in the washing and you're it. What a dangerous world.

In any event, have a happy Christmas.

JahTeh said...

Elisabeth, it's always the simple things that are the most dangerous. I fell head first in the bath once when I was enhancing my natural red hair colour and that was because my feet slipped on the bath mat. I might add the bath was empty but it was quite the effort to get upright.

Jayne said...

Plant some deliberate outrageous lies on the vile viper and watch him fall prey to his own bile.

JahTeh said...

Jayne, the man is no longer on my radar. I will be polite for mum's sake but only if I have to be. He lost my respect a long time ago and once that happens, you don't get back with me.

I hope your Dad's coming along okay and he enjoys tomorrow.

R.H. said...

I'll take the Queen Anne dresser but I suspect it's really a Princess Anne, when can you post it?

River said...

Wouldn't it be a good idea to fleabomb the house with the furniture still in it? Then any fleas nesting in cushion corners etc will also get the bomb.

The family friend will get his bad karma, it's just a matter of time. Hope your sister feels better soon. Dab the bruises with witchhazel.

JahTeh said...

Robbert preening in front of a white Queen Anne dressing table, my imagination is in overtime.

River, fleabombing is supposed to be today but as per usual no word from the BrickOutHouse. I'll leave it til 9 then send a text.