Thursday, December 17, 2009

YES, I'M CROOK, OFFICIALLY

No, it's not swine flu although he asked if I wanted the vac but changed his mind after listening to the song and dance going on behind my breast bone.
It's some bacterial bug that's taken up residence in my right lung which accounts for the strange little whistling noise I've been hearing.
Probably the bug version of Christmas Carols.
One bug clan decided to explore and ran through my kidneys and downhill from there. I'm sure I don't have to spell it out.
The Doc asked if I felt crook. I said yes but what I really wanted to say was, "yes, you twit otherwise why would I spend a fortune on getting a taxi down here because I couldn't get the bus because it was raining again and I feel dizzy and couldn't stand up straight in the shower and bashed my knee on the bath and didn't feel like walking".
It sounds convoluted but then I'd just given the taxi driver a $5 tip in my spaced out condition so no wonder he wanted to stick around and drive me home.
Now a tip from the walking wounded, don't sit down for a cuppa at Southland and take an antibiotic you haven't taken before.
Because you'll get halfway round Safeway and break out in a sweat and lean over the trolley like Rh on a loquat bender. At this stage I was heading for the bird bells and when I got home, it appears I've squandered $30 on those feathered freeloaders just so mother can watch reality television. There'll be so many lorikeets there next week, I'm worried David Attenborough will turn up.
I still have to head off for the residents Christmas Party tomorrow but only because I have more papers for the solicitor and I don't want to miss putting those in. Very nice strong upright signature the buyer has, well against mine which meanders across the page like a caterpillar on speed.
It had better not be raining either. I need a taxi. I'm not carrying 6 kgs of seed bells up to the bus.

11 comments:

River said...

"I said yes." You should have said the rest of it like you wanted to.
A tip when taking antibiotics, new type or not, when you haven't had any for a while eat a little something at the same time. It doesn't need to be a full meal, not even a whole sandwich, half a sanger or just a couple of biscuits will do. Just so that your stomach has something to digest along with the antibiotics, which greatly lessens the chances of nausea.

Ann ODyne said...

oh River - I'm convulsed, truly truly
"just eat a little something Coppy" oh bwah ha ha.
Cops:
The script label should read "Take with a good tonic + Bombay Blue.
Get well quick m'dear.

Ann ODyne said...

oh god I'm still laughing

"just a little something"

(last night I had my damn father and his infantile dementia on the phone and had to go Straight To Food when I got him off the line.)

JahTeh said...

River, I was sitting down at my favourite coffee place right next to the Swarovski crystal shop. I had a toasted cheese sandwich, black Earl Grey tea and a whopping great slab of Tiramisu.
Now you can see why O'Dyne is going hysterical with laughter at 'just eat a little something'.

Annie O, I really hope that come January 15, all my troubles will magically disappear and I will be majestically serene sailing the waters of life like a swan. Yes, I do know their little footies are paddling like the clappers under the surface. I plan to have motors installed.

Kath Lockett said...

Tiramisu. More of it. A whopping huge slab each and every time you need to take another antibiotic.

JahTeh said...

Kath, when I unpacked the groceries, there wasn't one block of chocolate, not one but God bless our feathered friends, little swines. I can't believe I didn't buy chocolate for when I get better.

Jayne said...

Drink.
Water.

hazelblackberry said...

Get well, poor thing.

JahTeh said...

Jayne, I am drinking water, I'm eating Sprite.

At least it's not a hangover, HB, that's something that would kill me.

River said...

So it's the 18th already, do you feel better yet? Well enough to go out and buy chocolate at least?

Toasted cheese sandwiches and tiramisu do not go together....

JahTeh said...

River, I still don't feel like eating chocolate or much else.
And that food combo with Earl Grey Tea was just right.