Monday, February 22, 2010

THE KARMA OF SPIDERS

Yes, they do evoke karma on anyone stupid enough to mock the hairy legged ones.

I've been watching one roam the ceilings of this house for weeks. I thought he might have fried himself by hiding in the downlight but not with the energy saving bulbs.

So he finally ended up in the bathroom, hopefully chewing on a few thousand silverfish. I drew the line at having a shower with him scootling round the ceiling above me. He decided the curtains might be a nice home, good, I could see his shadow with the sun behind.

Saturday morning and I reach the the handle of the toilet door but it's grown legs. He was around the door and up the wall before I could do anything. Back into the curtains. Back up in the corner where it's impossible to get him. So it was open the door, bang on the wall and check for hairy legs.

Sunday night, the same routine, the same corner. Early Sunday morning about 2 a.m., the cat wakes me for food. I have to do something about that cat's internal clock so I go to the loo and unusually for me, I turn on the light. It's nothing for me to wander around the house with no lights on. Do the ceiling check, okay we're right, he's gone.

Gone where? Well, where else but the toilet seat, sitting there with its little hairy legs gripped to the edge. I'm busting, he ain't moving and he's staring at me. I flipped him with the duster and he copped a squirt of flyspray on the way to the floor.

Here I am, duster and huge can of flyspray, I'm the danger so why did he have to charge across the floor, straight down the valley of death rode the hairy legs. I did a reasonable impression of Micheal Flatly and hairy legs shot into the bathroom where he got another belt of spray.

Did I mention I was busting and all the jigging around wasn't helping so gratefully I reclaimed my throne. Now to wash hands and dispose of deadylegs.

He's goooooooooone.

You can bet I'll be shaking out the towells for the next month.

11 comments:

Brian Hughes said...

"I have to do something about that cat's internal clock so I go to the loo..."

I'm struggling here to see how the two are related...unless the poor cat was in for a dip...

Jayne said...

The dunny seat is sacrosanct, even redbacks have given up that lark.

hazelblackberry said...

"I do a reasonable impression of Michael Flatley..." I like my horror stories to include an element of humour.

R.H. said...

Miz Croggon has a teenage shape, maybe God gave it to her.

Anyway it's Croggon Mark 2 now: all scrubbed down, glamour out the door.

JahTeh said...

The cat seems to think 2 a.m. is a good hour to have a snack and trying to ignore the little tyrant is not going so well but since my bladder is as OCD as the cat, once I wake up, loo time is automatic.

Jayne, did I see on the teev last night that we are having a redback invasion?

HB, I did think of you when the beast came charging at me and I was barefooted so couldn't even jump on him. Why do they always charge instead of running away?
I was trying to flip him into the water but thought better of that idea in case they can hold their breath and later rise from the depths.

Rh, maybe she's decided to go for inner glamour. I mean, inside me hides the regal body of Megan Gale.
I don't suppose your inner body looks a bit like Harrison Ford?

Jayne said...

Yes, J, we are having a humongous population explosion of the little horrors due to a mild winter which failed to lessen the numbers of them.
Please feel free to throw shoes at them or do as hubby does...gently scoot the mini-terrors into a container and return them to their outside habitat (he's mad, y'know, the damn thing won't respect boundaries!).

River said...

Awww, poor hairylegs..he was probably "busting" too and you scared him off before he could finish. Hopefully he hasn't left behind a family hell-bent on revenge. Ignore the cat's internal clock, she won't starve to death if you don't feed her until a reasonable hour. Couple of days is all it should take for her to adjust.

JahTeh said...

Jayne, have you noticed the drop in the blowfly population as well?
Come to think of it, not many mozzies around but the spiders of all varieties are multiplying. The cat came in before with the biggest web on her fur and I hope it was empty.

River, this is a cat we're talking about not a bloke. The beast has been here since January and I am fighting a losing battle.

LJP said...

I like your treatment of spiders. I, on the other hand, reserve the Michael Flatley impersonation for certain electoral results!!
For spiders, I prefer the "thong", or any other shoe with a flat surface...
:-)

LJP said...

I like your treatment of spiders. I, on the other hand, reserve the Michael Flatley impersonation for certain electoral results!!
For spiders, I prefer the "thong", or any other shoe with a flat surface...
:-)

LJP said...

sorry about that. Dang slow internet connection made me post it twice!!