Saturday, July 24, 2010

Another fritzing

Light bulb in the ceiling has blown. The toilet light.
This house is telling me that I can't live here anymore.
Changing the light bulb by me is nerve wracking and dangerous.
Get the ladder.
Find somewhere to hold the new globe and the old globe. Yes I do have a big gob.
Go up the ladder carefully.
Unscrew the three screws holding the shade but not all the way out. Last time I did that I was fishing around in the toilet bowl with a sieve. Yes I did forget to put the lid down.
Hold the glass shade, take out dead bulb, wonder where to shove it while getting the live bulb.
Yes I do have a big gob but there's no where else since I'm holding a bulb, shade and one hand on the ceiling.
Put in the live bulb, put the shade back, screw the screws in.
Take hand off the ceiling. ffs, just let go of the ceiling. Okay, leave hand on the ceiling until one foot goes down a rung. So you've just dislocated one shoulder but don't whine to yourself, now take the hand off the ceiling.

Or I could just leave the door open and turn on the hall light until the BrickOutHouse turns up.
He stands on the floor, unscrews with one hand, replaces bulb with other, drops nothing in the toilet, replaces shade. It takes him 2 minutes.


Mindy said...

Tell him the cat seems unwell, only for her to mysteriously recover while he rushes over. Then while he's there get him to change the light bulb.

Elisabeth said...

Don't be too hard on yourself, JahTeh. You're not the only one who finds light globe changing exercises perilous. I've had my share of near misses, bodies and globes and more recently a shattered shade.

Fen said...

Last time I changed a globe I smashed the thing in my hand, it was one of those fancy new spiral ones. Wasn't impressed AT ALL!

Andrew said...

You should have slipped your pool boi an extra fiver and got him to change to bulb. It's not like you haven't ever slipped him something extra.

Brian Hughes said...

"...wonder where to shove it while getting the live bulb."

David Cameron's not say that...the all-new coalition dictatorship Big Brother might be listening...

Middle Child said...

I try an wait till someone visits so i can change the light bulbs - I have an awful habit of falling off things in the house by myself - and the cats would have to start eating something after the cat food ran out

Kath Lockett said...

Thank God for the Brickouthouse - I'll admit that it's LC's job in our place to do the globe changing. I'll happily pack and unpack the dishwasher if he does the 'big gob' routine that you so perfectly described :)

River said...

To change light bulb while using the ladder method:-
step one; put on a cardigan or other clothing item that has two large pockets,
step two; put new bulb in one pocket,
step three; climb ladder,
step four; unscrew shade, remove old dead bulb,
step five; place dead bulb in empty pocket,
step six; remove live bulb from other pocket, place in fitting,
step seven; screw shade back on, climb down ladder,
step eight; switch on light to make sure you didn't mix up the pockets.

Alternative method:- use the hall light AND call the BrickOutHouse.

The light over my dining table where I do absolutely everything has no shade. It's safely packed away in bubblewrap, in a box, in the top of the wardrobe. I'll replace it when/if I ever move out.

Lad Litter said...

I put overalls on to change a light bulb. Pathetic really...

Ann ODyne said...

how many bloggers does it take to change a lightglobe?

I don't know, just use a torch, and stay off the dam ladder!.

Jayne said...

Grey Army.
Or Hire a Hubby.

JahTeh said...

OMG, I'm glad I didn't mention that I've forgotten how sex works.

Mindy, he called in last night but he was so happy playing on the floor with the cat, I didn't have the heart.

Elisabeth, considering I painted and wallpaper this entire house standing on a ladder and a bedside table, it's made me feel old and decrepit.

Fen, I didn't think you could break one of those, not the spiral ones but I have damaged a few of the straight up and down things.

Andrew, speaking of straight up and down, next time you're on your way to the DFO, pop in and fix up my long list of 'do it now'.

'Allo Fleetwood, found that Roman centurian yet? Everyone else seems to be finding hoards except the Fylde and Wyre. Yes, BB is supposed to be coming to a computer near us very soon.

Therese, you don't need a ladder, I read your blog remember.

Kath, you should only need one bulb, just turn LC for the light to bounce off that bald hair cut.

River, I can do everything up to step 3. I am developing a phobia about ladders, more specifically falling off them. And I missed your podcast.

LadLitter, that's so sweet but every dill bloke likes to look like a workman when doing something beyond their capabilities. Geez that felt good, like insulting my ex.

Annie O, Have you tried to buy a light bulb lately? It's like trying to buy toothpaste or a toothbrush, rows and rows of the damn things. Warm daylight, sharp daylight, inbetween daylight, bayonet end, screw end, small bayonet, small screw. Lord knows what kind is in this enclosed fitting.

Jayne, I have an electrician in the family and if he'd stopped playing with the cat, I'd have everything done. As for borrowing a hubby, hubby next door gave me his old but big teev, wife came in the next day to see what I'd done with it just in case carrying in a giant weightly bloody thing was a cover for something else going on.
They've been neighbors for 37 years and I've been divorced for ten and haven't grabbed a neighbour yet.

Middle Child said...

No I use a chair - in our old house with 12 foot ceilings it was serious business but I can manage a fall off a chair which would suprise you...well maybe not you...but other more balanced people