Saturday, August 28, 2010

Twelve months gone

I was chatting to my mother this afternoon and she asked how long she'd been at the home.
22nd of August 2009 she went there.
She said she didn't remember much about being told she couldn't leave the hospital unless she went to a high level care place and then there was a big rush in the afternoon and she was there.
Even though everyone was so kind that first night, she was so frightened that she cried silently all night, thinking that we would leave her there and not bother with her again.
And she woke the next morning to sunshine and birdsong.

She only told me this now. It was one of the terrors of her entire life, that she would be alone.
Of course we didn't stop going, I felt sometimes I was living there until all the details were finalized.


Twelve months later and I am trawling eBay to buy craft cards and glittery things. She's making and selling greeting, birthday and wedding cards to order. The money she makes she gives to the activities committee. Instead of a woman lying in bed staring at the ceiling, with brain turning to mush, I have a mother who is so busy with living life that I'm being left behind.

Not too far behind, I'm carrying the cheque book.

10 comments:

Ann O'Dyne said...

it's all a credit to you dear Coppy.
YOU.

River said...

It's been a year already??
It seems like about 4-5 months, that's all. A year!
But how wonderful to have a happy productive mum again.

Jayne said...

Crikey, a year?!
Yep, it's all your hard work that's got your mum with you still :)

Elisabeth said...

That's such a terrific story, JahTeh. It often surprises me how much our worst fears can turn around when we least expect, and that difficulties can turn into successes.

Bravo for you both.

R.H. said...

Go tigers.

JahTeh said...

Annie O, I never thought I'd say I'd have an intelligent conversation with my mother this time last year. I love the way she tells me not to take any notice of my sister and spend as much of her money as I want to. A little dementia can be a wondrous thing.

River, she looks so well and so she should considering the morphine doses that are going in but that's the big plus, no pain and a routine, good food and company.

Jayne, it's such hard work trawling eBay for her, not. I found some butterfly shape cards at S'land, on a bottom shelf, way up the back of a shop and no-one else has seen anything like it. I thought she was going to make me take a blood oath not to reveal the location.

Elisabeth, we were so lucky with this home. I've heard some very bad reports about the one I was on my way to look at when I stopped here.

Robbert, will they be going Collingwood in the final?

Word verification is thictuts, New Zealand pronunciation.

phil said...

That's a great story JT.

R.H. said...

That'll be next year.
I'm taking you with me.
If they win I'm buying you a giant pavlova: yellow and black. (Don't tell mother.)

Kath Lockett said...

That's incredible, CopperWitch. YAY you and yay to your mother too for getting stuck into things!

JahTeh said...

Phil, believe me it's great to be able to say it. I'm putting my name down on the list.

Robbert, yellow and black pavlova? I get the joke, it's Ben Cousins.

Kath, It's the pain control and the routine that's stopping the confusion getting any worse and she still introduces me to all the staff, after a year.