Sunday, October 03, 2010

And the weddings again

Now who wouldn't want a 'Hello Kitty' wedding dress?

Bride No. 1 and her $20,000 wedding which included $4,000 for the Hollywood satin and bling dress. She thinks she has the prize in the bag because she's arriving at her beach wedding in a sea plane. Let me tell you, not even Princess Di would have looked elegant getting out of a plane, onto the float, holding the train of her dress and not falling in the water. The guests were given little boxes to open after the ceremony and lovely butterflies flew away. This time I really looked for the cake and there were cakes, square, small parcels and iced in tropical colours on a stand.
The food was buffet style and the other brides moaned because it was supposed to be a seafood buffet but no it wasn't. It looked like an all-you-can- eat buffet at any pub. Entertainment was a bellydancer who danced and danced and danced. The dress was lovely but not dragging through sand and was over-blinged for the setting.

Bride No.2 spent $10,000 and did most of it herself. From her comments, someone had replaced her blood with sour lemons. It was set up nicely except the red and white looked like a footy run through. A deeper red would have looked nicer. The Groom was preceeded by a piper, sweet touch but their children weren't impressed by the fuss. She'd ordered her dress by mail and the other brides were right to say it needn't a fitting otherwise it was fine except for the chiffon shrug over the shoulders, tacky and didn't hide her tattoo. The reception food impressed no-one and they didn't show the cake.

Bride No.3 spent $20,000. She was older and met hubbie on the internet. They were married in a little chapel and she wore a suit based on the one her own mother was married in. Unfortunately it was grey and dull although it did fit. A pale blue or pink would have suited her colouring better. Now the reception venue was elegant but sour lemons said it lacked something because the bride had had it all done for her. The food looked presentable but wasn't hot. The cold food is becoming a familiar theme through the shows, reception places take note.

Bride No.4 spent $25,000 but only $299 on the dress. She was a bubbly bride who could have married in a potato sack and enjoyed herself and the only thing wrong with the pretty lace dress was all the layers not being the same length. Dear brides if you are going for the elegant arty shot sitting up a tree on a branch, hide a ladder behind the tree. Getting shoved up the tree arse about ain't a good look but worth it for the laugh. The bridal waltz went from waltz to rockabilly and they enjoyed it. No cake again. Where was the cake? I really couldn't see 25 grand anywhere.

The winners tied so Bride 4 and Bride 3 had to decide between beach wedding and sour lemons.
Beach wedding won and probably deserved it for not falling out of the plane into the drink.

The brides have to give points for the food which I gather is why the cake isn't seen but we all love a wedding cake so give a glimpse, at least.
They should give points as to whether there are enough chairs for the guests to sit through the ceremony. Everybody stands, I'd throw someone to the ground and sit on them.
All the brides made lovely comments about the actual ceremonies.

It's reinforcing my opinion that weddings are as boring as batshit unless you're the bride or so plastered you don't care as long as the bar is open.

And now for a wedding meme. You have unlimited resources (forget the groom) what is your dream wedding and if you like (and I would) a photo of the dress and don't forget the cake.


Shelley said...

I much be lacking in romance. Even with unlimited resources I'd skip a wedding and spend on a nice long holiday. Weddings have very little to do with either love or marriage anyway - these days they're largely about showing off in one way or another. I really can't see the point.
If you want a certificate of ownership the registery office is still available.

Dokemion said...

Weddings are, quite frankly, a racket. EVERYTHING costs more than normal when it's for a wedding. I think we need to start forcing a change here. Let this be part of the revolution. No more price gouging for what should be a happy, spiritual, day celebrating love and commitment with family and friends. If brides stopped paying through the nose for things, maybe they'd stop ratcheting up the prices so high? Let's all stop buying into the hype!

maid of honor

Ann O'Dyne said...

I LIKE that Hello Kitty frock.

These days, young women have a concept of their marriage ceremony as a spectacular musical starring ME! with costumes and presents and parties and a trip out of the country. They skip the traditional REASON for the celebration, since most of them are deflowered long before, by a person other than The BrideGROOM.

I have personal experience of plating up a hot meal for 120 guests at a wedding on the clifftops at The 12 Apostles and the bride arrived by helicopter.

Leaving the venue at 2am, exhausted and in the pitch dark, I tripped on a log next to the car and rolled down a hill, in the rain.
God we laughed, before our 3 hour drive home with leftover chicken feast for 10 cats.

A charming fantasy wedding would have a virginal couple in a small town inviting the entire town to
A Wedding Breakfast in the church hall after an 11am ceremony, where the bride wore her mother's dress, the flowers were local, and the food was bring-a-plate. You did say 'fantasy', but historically, that describes a village wedding. Even 'brides wearing white' is a recent (since 1900) social development.

Middle Child said...

My wedding dress cost $10 - reduced from $80 - I did all the catering courtesy of Coles chooks and salad - we had a man bring a barrel of oysters fresh from his oyster lease - we had our two little girls as attendants -but not formally - they were just there enjoying the wonderful chaos -
and Don ordered a keg and a half keg so there was plenty left for the next day - mum not being a beer drnker kept washing the glasses and in the middle of the backyard do - the neighbour's fox terrier decided to hump their cat - it was a hoot.

Jayne said...

Think I've mentioned before the 2nd run-through saw me in a bottle green ball gown from the local Smith Family op shop (before they closed them *sniff*)hired a church hall with celebrant doing the do, all guests byo-ing a plate with tea, coffee and milo laid on by the bucketful.
Although Dad did manage to get a bottle of blended malt into him somehow and started pinching bums, thankfully AFTER he'd baked the 3 triple choc wedding cakes (gluten/dairy/egg and sugar free but tasted delish).
FUN all round.

River said...

Seriously? A Hello Kitty wedding dress?

I would have voted for #4, because they all had so much fun.
And yes, you're right, they should always show us the cake.

With unlimited funds, I'd spread my wedding over a few days, maybe a week. That way friends and family could come in from anywhere, (travel costs covered by my unlimited funds),have time to recover from jetlag or just travel weariness, join me for a fancy dinner/pre wedding get together so they can all meet and get to know each other. Have a day to rest up and check (iron?)wedding outfits, then the wedding day, with another day after that to just all hang together having fun before me and my groom fly out to our honeymoon destination.

JahTeh said...

Shelley, same with the engagement ring. Forget the diamond, go for a large rare coloured stone with small diamond accents, it will have a better re-sale value.

Dokemion, It's never the Groom always the Bride and her Broadway show. I can't imagine spending $60,000 on a wedding for one day but a friend's daughter did then rang her mother the next day to say how flat she felt.

I picked that frock especially for you Miss O'Dyne.
It seems crazy to me when most of them are already living together and in their own house.
The bride by helicopter, that's so over the top.

Therese, that's a real wedding, booze, chooks and family fun. I love the keg with leftovers, my lot kept going up the hill and bringing another keg back.

Jayne, I get the feeling that this wedding celebration was more fun than the first. No faffing about with fancy invitations, bonbonnieri, table decoration and groomsmen falling drunk into the flowers.

Nice one River although with your luck with grooms, us bloggers will insist on checking him out first.

Now a bloggers wedding would be great. I'd load you all onto a 747 and on New Year's Eve over Antarctica I'd say the vows and we'd all enjoy the views. Just think of the blog fodder for weeks.