Saturday, February 25, 2012

This was supposed to be "MY YEAR"


According to all the stars at the end of last year plus all of those stars predicted a new baby coming in to my life and all I'm thinking is, my granddaughters couldn't be that stupid, surely not but we know the stars never lie and I'm not going to be a greatgrandmother just an interested onlooker.


So here is eldest granddaughter, 19 in February not 20 as I thought. One loses track when their bitchqueenoftheuniversemother doesn't let them keep in touch with me not to mention her consort bastardoftheuniversestepfather.  Youngest does email but has to sneak photos to me and as their internet was slow I only received this one. She's working two jobs to keep a roof over her head while my 39 year old teenage father to be is still living here but enough of him, blood pressure goes up. I should yell and throw his things into the street but it wouldn't make him face reality, he has to leave on his own or it won't mean he's growing up.

Now down to my year, all good things happening but with only one full moon in my sign this year and it's gone. 
1. Mother is still with us, well me mostly since I'm the one carrying the bird seed bells and the books and all the other crap she needs/wants immediately.
2. Weight.  Right back to where I was 10 years ago and very pissed off. And pissed off was where I was 10 years ago until I suddenly became very happy and dropped weight like 6 biggest loosers. I hate that show, utter crap. If it was that easy with weight lifting I should be sylph like with the family I'm carrying on my back.
3. I'm healthy apart from blood pressure (goddess knows why) Diabetes (my name is copperwitch and I am a chocoholic) dodgy knees (jeebus Southland raise your damn toilets to people height,we're not all gnomes) and now a tear in the Achille's tendon. Of course it would be the left leg, always the left leg. It's like that movie where they transplant the murderer's hands and the guy starts killing people. It's the same with the left leg, it's always getting in the way and falling over, I'm sure it belonged to someone else who was fat and clumsy.
4. Money. For some reason, I'm a little in front. Absolutely nothing to do with playing the pokies.  And, 'Getup', stop sending me petitions calling for the abolition of poker machines, I feel like a hyocrite if I sign them.
5. Family. Me losing, them winning. What can I say, once a family doormat always a family doormat.

The good news is that I only appear to have a small tear in the Achille's. That's as far as the experts in thin leg ultrasounds can tell. Doc Marvin was more positive. I was more positive after googling (sue me for using your crappy name!) ruptured Achille's tendon. I don't advise the squeamish to google (go on get me again) images. There's a site  devoted to the experiences of people with ruptures (no not the ones ascending) and the neg and pos of surgery, plaster, moonboots. Now there's a joy, you can take them off to go to bed but you must put them back on even if you're only going for a pee and as a nightly frequent pee'r that comes under the heading of sheer hell.
I digress (and now need a pee) but from the reading I have only a small tear which will heal with the help of scar tissue and probably hold.  Most on this forum are basketballers, marathon runners, all that masochistic stuff and just can't wait to get back to breaking and tearing some other body part.  The self healing part happened to a lot who had only a small tear, colour me happy.  Thank you Antikva for telling me to strap it with Fixomul stretch tape, now get down here and do it for me. What a bluebird of happiness stretch ultra sticky tape is to get on the back of a foot below a fat leg that belongs to someone else and doesn't co-operate.

And just when you really need that half price taxi card, the micro chip fritzes itself. Happily fritzed chips are the taxi directorate's fault and I don't have to pay $16 for a new card but I have to wait a week for it to arrive.  Oh dear, sorry mother, can't stagger to the bus this week but I will meet you for lunch on Monday since I'm being picked up.

AAAAAAAAnd I'm signing up for online shopping with both Coles and Woolies. Whichever store has the best bargains for the week, gets my shopping. Lateral thinking, I haz it.

17 comments:

Andrew said...

We are thinking of doing online shopping. Haven't investigated yet. I don't mind shopping when I have the time but that is not always.

R.H. said...

CLAIRVOYANT ROBERT SAYS: Now that the moon is in the house of aquarius don't pay your next electricity bill, send me the money instead.

(Or something terrible might happen)

How do you know the daughter-in-law is stopping the girls from contacting you? If this is what's going on it's rotten. Ignore her. She can't keep it up.

It's time you got serious about your weight. Other commenters are shy, yes, but I'm the one to tell you. Getting groceries delivered is ominous, next thing you know you'll be in with mother. You must go out!

Go out. Look around. Listen. Walk slowly.

The Elephant's Child said...

Somedays life just gets too hard. Lots of days. And a recalcitrant body sucks.
And why, oh why, are so many of the public toilets so low. I have trouble getting down to them, and more getting up.
Re the night time peeing. A vile, noxious insensitve cow of a MS nurse offered me the ideal solution. Learn to self catheterise. Oh yes, with a permanent hand shake that would be so much fun.
Sorry. A very long winded comment which essentially says I am sorry you have so much (that isn't chocolate) on your plate.

The Elephant's Child said...

PS Your grand daughter is just beautiful.

Fenstar de Luxe said...

ooh she's got lovely hair your grand daughter.
I online shopped for 3 years when I had no car (here) and 2 when I was in the UK, I love it. Then again I have an aversion to supermarkets.
How long does your Achilles take to heal?

Middle Child said...

Online is good...my youngest used it mainly when she was unwell...you have to be careful with cold stuff and fruit and veg as they are not all that good at bringing fresh milk - Ali found hers would be out of date really quickly - so maybe just get the heavy stuff like cans, boxes toilet paper, non perishables - try getting them at first but be prepared and that both Coles and woolies

JahTeh said...

Andrew, I don't mind shopping as long as it's a good trolley but do they have to put the pineapple chocolate frogs on special just inside before I get to the healthy stuff. Miss O'Dyne was very happy with Coles online.

Robbert, she's always done it. Two months after he died she had a garage sale of his things and took off for Queensland with the babies. If it hadn't been for a friend at Springvale, his ashes would have been scattered to the four winds. She didn't even let me know she was leaving him there.
I'll have you know I walked very slowly past the pineapple frogs. It's not my fault two fell in my shopping bag.

EC, what a bitch, not an ounce of empathy. You should have taken the catheter and wrapped it round her neck.
My problems will resolve themselves in time, yours unfortunately will not and I think how much you get done is fantastic.

Fen, it's still healing but I haven't any pain just a lot of swelling in the foot. I couldn't believe how many on that forum couldn't wait to get back to making more injuries. Doc Marvin was really pissed that they hadn't sent a report just told me to bring him the ultrasound images. I hope you're starting to feel better.

Thanks Therese, maybe it's different in the country but as I said Miss O'Dyne was very satisfied with the delivery.
Handy when you don't have a car even in the 'burbs.

River said...

I did my online shopping late last night, it will be delivered tomorrow morning during my chosen time window. I've been buying stuff and carting it home daily on the buses from work, but some of that stuff is heavy and I feel like my arms are being ripped from their sockets by the time I get home. Since I don't want another tear in my shoulder tendon, I'm giving in and shopping online. Except for fruit and veg, those I prefer to choose for myself.
Isn't there anyone who can apply the stretchy tape to your ankle?
Could you ask one of the nurses at the home?

Kath Lockett said...

Sorry to read this: 'Family. Me losing, them winning. What can I say, once a family doormat always a family doormat.'

If only you could do what LC did - moved hemispheres to escape his!

R.H. said...

I didn't put it well. I meant to say did you talk to the bitchqueenoftheuniversemother (send a letter maybe), but I guess you did.

You've missed a lot of good years with these girls, and in the circumstances it's especially tragic.

I still get astonished at callous behaviour, there's no end to it. My father was the most callous bastard ever.

I've advanced to the stage of laughing about it, but won't get over it.

Selfishness makes a fool of people. Lear, Othello and so on are absurd, not tragic. It's only tragic for everyone else.

JahTeh said...

Robbert, I was fortunate that their other grandparents didn't let them forget me. I kept a book of all the things I sent them. I even wrote a book for them, sent a chapter a month and their grandmother kept that as well as all their father's things.
I was pleased when she re-married, the bloke seemed nice but the reason for the trip to Melbourne was not to meet me but to adopt the girls. I wasn't told until they were back in Qld and an email was sent saying their name was no longer their father's and mail should be addressed accordingly.
As you can see the girls have not forgotten me.

Geez Kath, you mean move to Geneva? I've seen your photos of snow and ice, I'd prefer to send the family there.

River, sensible at last. Miss O'Dyne was in the same boat with carrying groceries on the bus then up a hill and both of you tearing your arms out.
I've put the tape just around the ankle, not up the back of the leg from underneath the foot, that I can manage.

Jayne said...

Yikes, I've been having pregnancy dreams of late (no, not moi, had the plumbing removed long ago) hope it gets sorted out ok.
Your grandbaby is gorgeous, of course, the torn Achilles is not.
I shall jog more slowly.

R.H. said...

Dear Miss Andrew. The batty woman embarrassing her entire family with her Women's Weekly style drivel has deleted my response to you. It seems plain language from stinking peasants like myself get her reaching for the air freshener.
Character and morality are in everyone. Then some embrace religion, others don't, but can still have the exact same personal morality. So whether an opinion is from a religious person or not shouldn't be an issue. Focusing on the religion, as a "Doctor" has recently done, shows the value of an Austalian PhD: not worth shitpaper.
You parade as very smug, but I know the seething hatred inside of you. You insult me and tens of million others by calling religion silly and superstitous. And why? Because you're homosexual.
Your claim that you could defeat religion is crazy.
I've seen lots like you in mental hospitals.

Okay?

Poof.

-Robert.

R.H. said...

Years ago I bought an old harmonica, survivor of the Great Depression. After learning to bend notes I thought maybe I should bend cliches too. And I did. For instance: Good things come to those who wait, the bad take some work. And: Honesty is the best policy, because it saves time.

I used to think blondes were the most desirable females. And I chased them. In later years I see different.

Blondes have more fun. Brunettes have more husbands.

They don't look in the mirror so much, leaving more time for housework.

Thank you darlings.
-Robert.

R.H. said...

And to anyone unfortunate, may I say:

My heart goes out to you.
But I want it back.

JahTeh said...

No he doesn't because there are enough heterosexuals thinking the same way.
Now come down off your cross and behave yourself. All religions started with good intentions but then people got involved.
As for myself, I rely on the wisdom of the Druid plant oracle, smoking pot and dancing naked under a full moon.
Come round anytime, I sell tickets.

R.H. said...

Yes well I once knew a woman who danced striptease at the old Ritz, and I laughed when years later she started throwing her clothes off in shopping centres, but yours is one show I'd want banned.