Wednesday, July 04, 2012

All I did was turn a corner...

I've had some weird experiences in my life, a 30 year marriage for starters but yesterday was out of the ball park.
I know of a love triangle.
I know one side of the triangle.
I've heard about one side of the triangle.
But yesterday I was talking to a stranger who nearly ran over my foot with her bicycle and discovered that she was the missing side of the triangle.
Do I have a face that invites salacious gossip to be downloaded to my mind in a voice that richoceted round Mentone, through Coles and up to the station to catch a train?
I've never seen the woman before and I've been wandering those streets for 3 years.
It started innocently enough, bicycle, running over, apologize and did I see Australian Story about Diana Bliss?
I meant to but I was cruising Space in Babylon 5 at the time.
We agreed she was a poor soul, very ill and goddess only knows why she married him because love is definitely deaf, dumb and blind.
Well, she had been in that situation herself, loved someone, had a child, engaged to be married and jilted and all her money couldn't stop him pissing off with a brainless tart.  Know the feeling, thinks I.
And she couldn't understand being left for some fat unlovely creature of the underclass when she herself was elegant and refined and wealthy.
The name of the fat unlovely creature was mentioned.
GASP, CHOKE, ROAR OF LAUGHTER.
Yes, dear Madam (lipstick running into the channels of her wrinkly mouth) I know her well.
She lives at the nursing home two ticks from where we are standing.
Where she is always moaning that the worse thing that happened, besides the MS, was the death of her darling husband.
Apparently darling husband hadn't told her he was leaving her and going back to the other side of the triangle and in fact had been going off with the triangle every time wife had trundled off to respite care.
He died of a massive heart attack while packing the car prior to piss off.
Triangle Three was in respite care and came straight to the Home.
Missing part of the triangle asked if his brother and sister cleaned out the house which I knew they had.
MPotT said they'd have gone into the roof and under the floorboards since they knew where he used to keep all his cash.  A lot of which came from the sale of the pre-marriage home of him and MPotT because she was wealthy and so was her mother and her grandmother.
Have I mentioned that MPotT had a son to Triangle One?
According to my mother, Triangle Three has no idea that there was a son.
According to my mother Triangle Three was a virgin when she married Triangle One after knowing him six weeks.
According to MPotT the only thing Triangle Three had going for her was her rep for being the best back of Ute R--t.
And so, dear readers, Triangle One mended fences with MPotT saying that he had made a terrible mistake and married the wrong woman and now wanted a happy ending.
Karma bites.
Triangle One falls to heart attack.
MPotT lives to tell tale to strangers but all her money (and apparently ex-husbands) can't erase a face full of wrinkles due to years of loathing at being left for a non-entity with a bum like a working bullock. (it's here that I begin to care, she says I am overly large but extremely elegant for it)
Triangle Three has progressing MS but before you thing I am cruel, she is nothing like our lovely Elephant's Child who disregards her MS in order to help other people.  TT is, and I suspect, always has been a whiner and a bit on the mean side.
MPotT from now on is going to be looking out for TT as she passes every Cafe in Mentone.
Revenge is never pretty but it is going to be entertaining.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Copperwitch - Laugh! I thought I'd never stop. What a great story - although sad in parts. I can't wait to read Chapter 2 of the TT and MPoT. It certainly takes ones mind off one's own problems. And the stars of this tragedy are well into their 80's, are they not? Oh Lordy, Lordy. You could be rich if you published your writings. You have a real talent. - Cheers Dotson.

Anonymous said...

oh dear Coppy - shreik? Babylon 5, MPoT, you are a star. thanks for the laughs and I'm only half-way through.

back in a tick. AOD

Ann O'Dyne said...

entertaining? Only when YOU tell it. I should ask if your foot is alright? Do not go near ivy or bins anytime soon. That foot has had enough excitement.
and yes of course you are most certainly 'elegant with it', wrinkly but not blind is MPoT.

I did like the lilt of 'working bullock', but sorry to say, the bovine back-end is quite pointy, whereas the equine back end is more like your Empire Rose's.
What I need to know is if the MPot went to the lying bastards funeral, and did his Death notices all say he was "one of life's gentlemen" etc.

River said...

Bloody geometry, I got lost in the (bermuda) triangle(s). A few more stories like this should see me sorting the angles.

Helen said...

What a great story!!

Ah, stand on the riverbank long enough and you'll see the bodies of your enemies float past...

Anonymous said...

Ours be a love intersection
And aye, no stop sign
No GIVE WAY
Prithee we crash.

-Rochester.

Jayne said...

LMFAO
What a HOOT!!!
I've been finding my own triangles in Dunolly and am putting missing bits to the geometric shapes...sometimes over a beer at the local ;)

JahTeh said...

Dotson, I've never had such an experience but the wife is only in her sixties, he was in his eighties.

Annie O, quite by accident I mentioned his name at the Home today and was told what a lovely man he was by an entirely unrelated person to anyone in the triangle.

River, think of me standing in the freezing wind but unable to tear myself away.

Helen, really it was a laugh but I can't believe she really wanted to take him back. My ex would be lucky to get in the front door.

Rochester, always reliable to match it with words.

Jayne, there are tales to be told? I'll keep a close eye on your blog.

Middle Child said...

Bloody you - you make me laugh such a great turn of phrase...if there were any decent books being published these days you could be published