Thursday, May 02, 2013

Paaarrppp!

Who else would I think of when reading an article about farting? Especially when Kath is such an expert on such matters and so ladylike about her little adventures.  Scientists now have a growing appreciation of the importance of gut microfauna and its noxious emissions.  But one person wants to know why, since farting is wonderfully rich in sounds, soft or loud, why we don't speak through our bum instead of our mouth.

It's not frivolous because it seems that no part of the human body has evolved specifically for speech.  We just speak through the same orifice that handles breathing, eating, drinking, vomiting and burping.  Did you say vocal cords?  They're only two flaps of tissue to act as a seal to keep food and drink out of the airway when we swallow.  So why didn't evolution turn itself upside down and using the spincter as a vibrating seal, make that end the speaking part? 
Because we have a mouth, tongue, teeth and throat to make sounds, actual speech instead of the paarrrp booom of the lower regions.  That's not to say it doesn't happen, all of us know people who do speak out of their rear ends, constantly.  Footballers could go through life without opening their mouth once. I suspect some politicians do the same but are such practised ventriloquists, we haven't cottoned on yet.

Which brings us to the humble herring.  Flatulent herring communicate by paaarrppp as do other fish, whales can dong a rumble that floats for miles but it has it's problems.  Orcas home in on the sound of the farty herrings and and flatulence becomes the dinner bell.

It's okay Kath, no Orcas in Geneva.

6 comments:

River said...

There's not many people who can make farting stories interesting without resorting to crude jokes. There's you, and Kath and.....

Brian Hughes said...

I know plenty of people who talk through their arses all the time.

Kath Lockett said...

Hah! :)

....actually, this informative entry does make the fact that we evolved from fish rather more compelling!

Elephant's Child said...

And I have known some people whose breath suggests that they are talking from their rears too.

Vest said...

Brian got there before me to make my point.
In any case have you been hiding - from the host of learned persons Presumably, who speak from their bums and poo from their tongues.

K, L. Most bankers evolved from sharks.

JahTeh said...

River, it was a very scientific article I was reading and I just couldn't get Kath out of my mind.

MiLord, everybody on facebook? The exception being the greatly beloved Lord Sedgwick even if he did give up the Kingdom of Blog for Swill City.

Kath, I admire you for your considerable talents in this area. It takes guts to let it rip regardless. When my sister took in the lodger, she would say she was going to the shop and run all the way to let one loose where it wouldn't harm anyone.

EC, I haven't run into one of those for ages, thank goodness, or the double dose of underarm and breath.

Vest, Abbott springs to mind and looking at him I can see the shark DNA not far from the surface.