Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Christmas dressing.

 Given the horror stories I've heard about the so-called celebration of Family Christmas I think this should be put on a T-shirt, apron or tattooed across the forehead of the family pest and there's always one family pest.  In my case, it was my Father-in-Law who walked in with hand at the ready and mouth open for business. We always had to keep an eye on the sharp knives and my father's temper as the afternoon wore on and it was wearing. Dad was a very slow eater. He never had  Christmas as a child so he used to enjoy every minute so mum learned to give him a small meal and hide a bigger one for after the walking stomach left. And it had to be hidden well, that man had a nose for food. Not only did my F-in-Law eat us out of house and home for Christmas lunch but had to race off later in order to reach a friend's place for their Christmas tea of fresh seafood. My poor M-in-Law would be exhausted but she trailed after him without complaint. Even the dog breathed a sigh of relief when they left. They never bothered my dear Ex, he was usually too pissed to know what day it was, bad luck having a birthday on the 24th of December.

This goes on my T-shirt on Boxing Day.  I am exhausted just thinking of those days and so glad I don't have to bother now. I plan to have some Bombay, a book and a mince pie and no visitors.

And the sewing machine is working. People (some) will get the promised last year's Christmas Presents. I had it serviced in February 2009 and hadn't had a chance to touch it since then but she started up and ran like a Ferrari. The only problem was the huntsman wandering around on the ceiling. He's now in the bedroom and even the cat is wary. At least he's out of the way of the machine and the five dresses I've already cut out. And I'm adhering to the traditional Copperwitch Christmas of every room in the house being in a complete state of chaos and mess but there is hope that the Christmas Brooch tree in the frame will be up, even if it's not quite in the frame. I intend to have a bash at that this afternoon and I mean bash with a geologist's pick since it's just 2mm out in one corner so if I smack it hard enough it'll fit. 


Elephant's Child said...

How I would love to have that to give out to various family members - not just at Christmas either.
I am really, really looking forward to your Christmas brooch tree.
And have, finally, started soaking fruit in booze for the first batch of cakes. How many I make depends on how lazy I get.

River said...

You have a geologist's pick?
Going spelunking any time soon?

I reckon that huntsman is just hanging around wondering what colour dress you are sewing for her.

I haven't started making my mince pies yet. I usually do a trial batch every November, but then I eat them all, so this year it will just be the one December batch.

You'll be posting a photo of the Christmas brooch tree I hope.

JahTeh said...

EC, place cards with this and names on the table would be hilarious. Mother's quite happy with me not appearing for the Christmas party as long as I turn up on Christmas Day. I reminded her that she was so tired last year that 4 weeks later she was in hospital, dying. That shut her up.

River, my ex gave it to me and it's been the best present ever. I like the sound of Heston Blumenthal's mince pies, I was drooling at the ad last night.
And photos will be posted.

Andrew said...

Jah Teh, in my experience cats just love to play with spiders.

So I will get last year's christams sewn gift with this years sewn gift. I am pleased.

R.H. said...

Apart from his usual text blunders (can't write, no feel for it) it seems that little lord pansy pants will persist in going out of his way to write Christmas as christmas. What a dwarf. Well listen you shitty arse little crumb, do it on your own blog! Leave others alone.


JahTeh said...

Actually Rochester, he wrote it as christams, probably pissed drinking the pudding plonk. And don't be snotty, it's supposed to be the season of forgiveness or just giving. I'm winning Powerball tonight so I'll be forgiving everyone.

Wrong, Andrew, yours will be added to last year's and birthday this year maybe to be sent next year. I have all the fittings just haven't done the fixing.
And the cat is not playing with a dinner plate size huntsman, not on my bed.

R.H. said...

My daughter got conned by an American lesbian woman and lost a multi-million dollar childcare centre.

I'm not saying all queers are that way but I've never met one that wasn't devious - fucked in the head. Have you?

JahTeh said...

Darling Rochester, I've never met a fag I didn't like but I've met a lot of religious cranks I'd like to throw on a fire.

R.H. said...

I've only known one religious crank, he lived with his sister and we were all trying to root her. One attempt ended up in the local paper.

R.H. said...

A Baptist Minister around here calls homos 'Mister Bumfuck'. An old dear at Routley's told me. She thought it was funny.
I myself would never be that crude.