Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Will somebody please slow the time down, i'm not getting any younger.

Now blogger  has pop-ups telling me about its new and great improvements, stuff it.


Some things are meant to be invented and this is one of them.  I want a dozen delivered for my birthday,  passionfruit flavour would be nice and raspberry of course.  How delicious does this look.

I hadn't realized that a week had passed since I blogged. Passing out in front of a warm fire will do that.  The Weather Bureau announced that we had more warm days in July this year than last year.  I do not believe them. If it wasn't so traumatic, I'd get last year's diary out and check but that means seeing what mother was up to and it's bad enough this year.  She was cold yesterday, that's SHE, the one who is in the warm bed talking to the dipstick who'd just come in out of the freezing July.  She has a cotton blanket, two mohair rugs and a flanny nightdress on.  She can't find her other blankets. That's because the stupid old bat made me take them home a month ago because they were too heavy on her legs.  AAAAAAAAnd here it comes, the last word as always, 'was I sure?'

So, we continue with the internet.  All of a sudden I can't log on again.  Mr. Terrribly Efficient had put in a pop-up box that won't let any updates go on without my permission which included me trying to log on.  For once Windows was a help, that'll go down a treat at Head Office when they get a yes, it was a help instead of the usual fuckoffno.  The setting was on halfway and it needed to be on high, it comes up, I say yes and internet log on window appears.  I can't believe how many apps are running along with my log on.  I still want my XP back.

Now for the scam news.  After all the drama, I get a phone call from an African, not racist, I know the accent from the girls down at the Home, he was gabbling, I yelled since this was 9 o'clock at night. Something about my computer and it was sending virus signals to Microsoft.  Another African takes the phone, the supervisor and easier but not much, to understand.  I said everything was fixed and virus scans detected nothing. He insisted that I sit at my computer and hand over remote control to him before my computer was damaged beyond repair and I passed on the virus intent on world domination.  Well that's what it sounded like.  He had the nerve to tell me not to yell, me, who yells at robot calls.  God how I miss the old fashioned phones that one could smash down and shatter ear drums.
Next day, another call, another African but much more refined in English.  Computer virus detected at Microsoft, danger of cyber crime, virus world domination, must hand over remote control or zombies will eat my brain.  They shouldn't have given me a day to prepare, bad mistake.  Which of my 3 computers is in danger.....crickets chirp.....the one you are sitting at.....I'm on the phone.....crickets chirp.....aren't all 3 of your computers at the same IP address.....of course not........why not?.......my husband, the IT consultant likes to change and test virus programmes........crickets chirp....chirp.....chirp.....clunk.   Damn, didn't get to use my last bomb.  I'll keep it until next time, that's the one where I tell him, his call will be recorded and sent to the fraud squad for performance evaulation.

 And I still want my XP back.

14 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

It HAS been warmer up here. Trust me.
We get those people calling here too, but there accents are decidedly Asian. Despite their name being Brian or Peter.
And a very happy birthday for Sunday. Chocolate and gin filled.

River said...

So, do you want the donut ice cream cones as well as, or instead of, birthday cake? and where do I buy them?
I have a theory why mother is feeling cold: it's because she is lying there doing nothing, when everyone knows movement will warm the body. Tell her to jog around the block a time or two. She'll be toasty in no time. Ha Ha.

To verify this theory, I'll tell you that when I'm sitting here at my computer and the only thing moving is the hand that brings my coffee mug to my mouth, I get chilly. Let me get up and walk to the bathroom, then to the kitchen to make toast and I'm feeling much warmer, even before I eat the toast.

JahTeh said...

EC, how can you say that when you've been out in nought degrees photographing soap bubbles. I have a beauty to send to you. It will only be happy if my granddaughter decides to tell me she's pregnant as a birthday surprise.

River, she's having trouble controlling her body temperature, she can be cold one minute and the next has her fan out because she's burning hot. This is not a good sign and has been much worse since the last stint in ICU. She's not really hungry either but a lemon meringue eclair (tiny) picked her up a bit and didn't do me any harm either. That was another genius idea, delicious and easy to handle.

Andrew said...

While I think Windows 10 has some improvements over Windows 7, XP was a game changer. I am so tired of calls on the land line from the Department of Inland Revenue. I'm gonna be gaoled at any minute of the clock, you know. Bring me bottles of Scotch when you visit, please.

R.H. said...

Greetings to my little sweetie-pies, paddle-pops, and mincing pussy cats in public toilets, hot cinnamon doughnuts are my favourite, I eat six of them in one go. My next favourite is a pizza with hot salami, olives and anchovies. After that I'll down nearly a whole bottle of Coles lemonade (89c). When I was a boy, cold dripping (fat from frying) put on bread was a regular, it was kept in a tin beside the gas stove, and the dark bits in it were very tasty. For breakfast we had bread and milk: broken bits of bread covered in milk and sugar. These things were good at the time, but then in my last year at primary school a kid gave me a peanut butter sandwich, someone else got a piece too, and said, "I don't know what it is, but it's very good." Yes indeed. It's never been as good since.

R.H. said...

Darlings, paddle-pops, mincing pussy cats, I'm devastated by the realisation that I've done nothing to justify Footscray hospital prolonging my life. I've achieved bugger all since. But I will, I'll get going soon. Hospital was a puzzle, a fascinating trip. I took myself on tour, up and down the elevators, round and round the corridors, out into the carpark for a smoke and with them all looking for me, these professors. I entered the cafeteria, filling my dressing gown with sugar packets because there wasn't enough at meal times. I strolled the wards, having a joke and a laugh with complete strangers, yelling "G'day mate," into all the rooms. Darlings, it was just so marvellous to be on the go and off a machine, tubes detached. In the end after passing it a dozen times I entered the little chapel, just to come down a bit. That's how you get balance. Life isn't one big laugh, those who think so have given up.

River said...

I'm smiling here at RH doing the hospital rounds, shouting G'Day Mate into all the rooms. What a cheer up that would have been for them!

JahTeh said...

Andrew, why am I getting calls about investing my incredible wealth into time-share units and retirment villages. It's why I don't trust this new Census coming our way and how wonderful to think every person in the land has a computer to fill it out. I want a paper one and I'm still deciding what my religion is for this one.

Robbert, how cheery to visit, I'm sure if I'd been on enough morphine I'd have enjoyed a chat. I also nick sugar packets. I know Peanut Butter was invented by a black scientist in America but just when did we get it here?

R.H. said...

What a wowser society, those piddling little sachets wouldn't have half a teaspoon in them. Hey!- it's SUGAR, you bums!- not fkn gold dust!
I don't know when peanut butter arrived here, I know my first taste of it was an experience, still vivid. And listen, don't poke fun at morphine, it could be a way for us to discover we have everything in common.

JahTeh said...

Robbert, I only have sugar on a cappuccino, if the foam is fresh and thick it sits on top, and I love drinking the coffee through it. I always carry a few packets in my purse.
I remember my first real American donut, it was divine, nothing like the sweetie crap we get now and going right back to my food memory, Swallow's Peach ice-cream, nothing like it since.
Peanut butter is way down on the list and I can never work out why Americans eat peanut butter and jelly (Aus-jam) sandwiches.
Never touch Ben and Jerry's Ice-cream, diabetes in a carton, ghastly stuff and you know me and ice-cream.

Annie ODyne said...

re your "it's why I don't trust this new Census coming our way and how wonderful to think every person in the land has a computer to fill it out. I want a paper one and I'm still deciding what my religion is for this one." LET US ALL put 'Muslim' and frighten the hell outta the gubmint.
I still have the form from the previous census. nobody came to pick it up.
Do the collectors settle into their comfy chairs and read them at the end of their day?
Her-Sun yesterday wrote "Aged fear losing their census". very amusing subbie but the article said getting a paper form has been made so difficult - quoting a 12 digit number over the phone, that old bats will give up. We are all getting 'an instruction letter' - can't wait for all the Twitter comments on that. luv youse all, and Get Well Soon RH.

JahTeh said...

Annie, it's the 31st July and we have 9 days to get that paper so they are making it difficult for us.
What happens if everyone turns on the computer at the same time, black out?
I want my paper even if I haven't decided to be Jedi, Druid or Fullblood this year.
I really hope there is a section on how I feel about politicians.

iODyne said...

oh yes you are so right - the mass logon will crash the WWW.
I'm out here on a road with no garbage collection, streetlights or traffic lights within 45 kms and yet the paper form was delivered yesterday by a very nice man who then proceeded to photograph with a cellphone the evidence that it had been delivered, then he had dropdown lists on his screen which he variously chose. It all looked to me like having a wide margin for error. canardly wait for C-Day

iODyne said...

oh god PS HAPPY the 31st BIRTHDAY DARLING - ONLY DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. mwah mwah