Monday, July 18, 2016

I am a wreck, nerves shot, need gin

Three days ago Microshit downloaded a bucket of updates which wiped out my connection to Optusnet and internet. 
I rang this morning for troubleshooting at Optus and was told they'd confer with Micromoneymakers and find out what was wrong.  Three hours later, no lunch and needing a pee, I was not a happy blogger. 
The thought of having to go shopping for a fortnight's food, do the banking in the bank, post cheques and pay cash for the rates never mind not being able to ebay and buy books had me in meltdown.
Thank you Antikva for ringing and giving me the internet address for Optusnet because you know, no internet.  And another thank you for giving me that tip about the phone which is another nightmare.
Want to get rid of something on the  Home page, hold finger on object, wait for remove to pop up and press, this takes two fingers which I found out after 5 tries.

Anyway I ring Optusnet again with the press this number, press that number, blah blah and I get this sweet little bloke who was probably 10 years old.  For a solid hour with  narry an 'oh God' under his breath, he walked me through getting my internet connection back. He wasn't sure but he thinks the updates wiped out my administrator rights so the computer smart arse decided not to recognize me even though I was still using the same swear words I always use when talking to machines.
Then I managed to lose the entire Optus broadband button from the computer. My fault, I use the mouse with my left hand so I was getting the right and left clicks mixed up.

In the finish I managed to hand over complete control of this machine to Mr. Impeccable Manners and told him to take the $7.50 in my bank account as long as he fixed everything which he now has.
He told me I could get a technician to take me back to lovely old familiar XP but he's fixed 8.1 so it shouldn't give me anymore trouble.  He said the problem is, 8.1 is very delicate and touchy, I told him to punch it into submission.  I'm a nervous wreck about turning it off after I write this blog.
If you don't hear for another week, don't worry. I'll just be cranking up the old 32 bit horse and buggy and using that.

And no, I haven't managed to make a phone call yet but they called me.  Wanted to know if I'd like to play a game, dicing with death they are.


Elephant's Child said...

That sounds truly vile. And far too familiar.
Sometimes I think an intravenous drip loaded with gin is the way to go.

River said...

I've never heard of updates causing such a catastrophe, but then I read you're on Windows 8 and I remember hearing how it was a nightmare, so I never went anywhere near it.
I'm really glad you've got your internet back again, I'd really miss your posts and emails if you hadn't found Mr Manners to help you out.

Andrew said...

I say love, I say pet, I say love, go to Windows 10. 8 is crap and always was. Yes, it will be different and take some learning, but isn't that what dementia prevention is about? Keeping the brain cells active? Worst case, you will never see another blog post by me. Handing your machine over to techies in foreign countries is the best way to sort things out quickly and surely. I miss Antikva. whoever she is.

Davoh said...

Tch tch. Hang in there. Little things are sent to try us.

Davoh said...

Andrew. windows 10??? am hanging on to Windows 7 ... and seriously miss XP.

Davoh said...

Andrew, Siri is the next love child ... or has she been replaced ??

JahTeh said...

EC, it seems to be running very nicely now. But last night I suddenly thought, Domino's, how would I order my bespoke pizzas? Like drug dependence, this electronic stuff creeps up until you are totally hooked.

River, he was just so nice it was great. They had to get rid of Windows 8, it was so bad and replaced it with Windows 8.1, Vista was even worse and I just loved XP. The new CPU came with 8.1 so I left it.

Andrew, I tried Windows 10 but I only have the desktop and didn't need all the extra rubbish and I'm on pre-paid so the credits tended to disappear. With so much online stuff now, Antikva tells me that the next Window whatever will be all geared to business. She had a good blog and visited you regularly but now has the care of 3 grandchildren under 6 and deserves a gold medal for not giving up and putting them in care. This country should have a gold medal for mothering.

Thank you Davoh, a chocolate covered hand grenade is in the mail or I could have Pauline Hanson deliver it. I hope you didn't miss her Q&A performance last night, the woman is truly a national treasure, just not this country's national treasure.

R.H. said...

I will be so very glad when this winter is over.

R.H. said...

Well now I'm not sure if I dreamed it or heard about it: a woman who claims she was a frozen embryo for six years.
But then it hit me like a brick, how the latte set look in cafes:


Oh golly. Now I can rest.

John Going Gently said...

just got home after a 13 hour shift
Another one tomorrow
I will need gin then

JahTeh said...

Robbert, frozen embryos have been around for years now. It's the frozen zombies you have to watch for.
The weather bureau said we've had more warm days this July than last year, they're lying or they're zombies. Are you thinking of cryogenics after your near death experience?

John, I'm just home after a 3 hour shift with Mother and after 7 years of nursing home, I'm seriously thinking of buying Bombay Sapphire in barrels. When she went in they said she would only last 4 to 6 months, 7 bloody years later and she's still looking good.
As a good ending to my cat story, the 38 year old's girlfriend shocked us all by becoming pregnant. When the little boy was born he wrapped his tiny hand around the boy's large finger and he's never left him since.

Ann ODyne said...

oh the aggravation. massive sympathy. first commenter El Chi just had an ISP screwup too. I hate those SPYbot tracker things that haunt me wherever I go because they know where I have been - like Copper Utensils above has tracked 'copper' FFS. I just deleted all cookies and now wonder how that is going to ruin the next thing I try - paying accounts, checking weather, TV guide, news etc. The mitochondria of your mother needs to be studied by expert professionals, and I hope you are as resilient yourself [so ... you know, after, you get some peace.

JahTeh said...

Annie, that's the first bit of spam I've had on the blog in years. I installed CCleaner which is free, dont bother with paying and I just bring it up and it cleans all cookies and temp internet pages. It also saves the cookies you use all the time, you just record them. CCleaner is its toffee name, it used to be called CrapCleaner which is what attracted me to it.

I would not be surprised to walk in one day and find an enormous cockroach sitting in that bed, the woman is indestructible and is planning to reach 90 now. She says she has no appetite but a lemon meringue eclair was inhaled and yummed in 30 seconds yesterday.