Friday, August 10, 2018

Another day in Paradise and the cat hates me.

And it starts with United Energy who spent loads of money sending out 3 letters last week to say the power would be off from 8 a.m. to 1.30 p.m. today. So I was supposed to turn everything off, keep the frig closed as much as possible and the freezer not opened at all, oh, you little jokers.  I had ice-cream in the freezer, I'd have had to weld it shut.

So wandering off to bed at midnight with thoughts of nekkid men already strolling through my empty mind, I suddenly realized I'd need a shower now because it will be freezing in the morning and I wouldn't have the heater for the bathroom or the heater for the lounge.  Damn, last bloke leaving my shattered dream had a bod to die for (not at all your taste, Andrew) but I managed to shower without falling over or the door falling on me.  Remembered too that groceries were being delivered at 9 a.m. and then I would visit mother, didn't want to waste a wash.

8.45, cat is sitting on me and staring into my eyes.  The message is clear, fire food fire food and open door or reverse order considering the state of the kitty litter.  Forgot to wash my hair, no dryer, no fire, no tv for the news, anxious to see if we had another quake in Oz, did I mention no fire?  The wind was wild to say the least and I had much amusement in watching the cat remember to turn into the wind.  He ran in and no fire so he opted for food, apparently not to his taste. Swearing was going on and he was just told, no fire, deal with it and he stormed off shedding fur everywhere.  I had 3 layers of clothes on, it was freezing. 

About 11.30 when none of the little red lights had gone off and wind was having a real tantrum, it hit me that no idiot would go up a ladder and play around with wires so I checked the phone but no cancellation was recorded. I rang mother just as something in the carport probably the Volkswagon crashed and she immediately made me promise not to come out in the weather to see her. Joy, visions of ginger cake and hot tea replaced the hot blokes running through my mind. The fire went on with the tv so I could give her the news. Cat came screaming in for warmth but disturbed the balloon still floating about the ceiling and nearly frightened himself to death, raced across a sheet of those big bubble wraps which went off like fire crackers but was caught on his claw and wherever he went it went too.  Mother nearly choked on a biscuit as I gave a running commentary on the noise, she recovered with a mouthful of tea, damn.

I still want to know how much money those idiots wasted on useless letters.


Elephant's Child said...

And hopefully they WILL remember to send you more expensive letters when they do turn the power off.
And sorry, it is wrong of me, but I AM snickering at your poor put upon cat.

Andrew said...

To quote, We are surrounded by fools and incompetents. How do you know your dream man is not to my taste. He is alive?

JahTeh said...

El Chi, Karma hit me. That damn balloon floated through the house and I didn't notice so when I turned on the bedroom light, it floated down from the ceiling straight onto my face. If it had been pink I wouldn't have thought 'SPIDER' so it finally got the cut.

Andrew, he was breathing but he wasn't hairy and muscle bound with a head like a racing ferret. Rarely do we have the same taste in men except Trudeau.

River said...

When I hear the power is going to be off I don't bother turning everything off. I just go about my day until everything goes off because of the workers. This is because our letters usually say the power MAY be off between x and y time. I get more annoyed when there is no warning and I get home from anywhere to find I can't even make a cup of coffee because the power is off.
I have ice cream in my freezer too. It's been there for weeks and I've barely touched it. Not being allowed to have ANY for a while seems to have cured my everyday bingeing.

Beth Waltz said...

My apologies to your cat, JahTeh: your recitation of the his encounters with the balloon and bubble wrap gave me giggles. Do wish you'd had it on video.

Power outages are fairly common during summer storms here. Like my neighbors, I have a stash of camping chez home gear including no-cooking-required food items, gallons of spring water, bags of kitty litter*, and mega battery chargers.

*We can rent private port-a-loos from a neighbor who cleans septic tanks and copes with the needs of builders and community event planners. However, most of us keep camping privies in the garage, "just in case". The emergency version is a bucket lined with a plastic kitchen bag and containing several generous scoops of litter.
May it never come to that in your household!

Cheryl said...

The header at the top of your post makes me smile, much more sensible than a bucket list.

JahTeh said...

River, it's not us, it's the horrible ice-cream the supermarkets are selling. It's either too sweet or no taste. I've even gone off coffee ice-cream. Although if you handed me Pavlova with vanilla ice-cream,strawberries, raspberries, Passionfruit with a drizzle of melted chocolate I might change my mind.

Beth, I am still laughing at your emergency toilet. I gave my backside a measure and I would need more than the average size bucket. I hope it never comes to that, the dumb cat would go head first into the wrong kitty litter.
I am not equipped for living in anything but utter luxury.

Cheryl G, with my family I could make this house look like the winner's paddock at the Melbourne Cup.