Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Lace and a trace of leather


 I love watching a wedding dress show which is on really late but it's worth the laugh. Fat brides, really enormous brides with humongous boobs and then there are the really really big arses, for balance so they don't fall over from the big boobs. I can throw stones, I'm leader of this bunch but I would never choose a bridal dress with strapless top and something that tries to make out there's a waist under the boobs and above the bum. And they want it fairy tale pouffy with bling but it doesn't work because they walk like draught horses. If you're paying $15,000 for a dress then you must pay for a concrete corset to wear it properly, like stand up straight, no slouching and learn how to glide and no buying 6 inch heels if you're not used to them.  I always remember Sarah Ferguson clumping down the aisle like a race to the prize.  Strapless with boobs always needs a little something to soften the shoulders so you don't look like a Sumo wrestler.

I love this dress.  I love the blush pink colour under the gauze. I love the floaty sleeves and the lace and the V neckline.  The back is just as pretty with a long train of the flower lace gauze. Now think giant boobs practically sitting on the hips without that waist.  It's the kind of dress that could suit BIG. You have to imagine it, probably think about it for about an hour until the picture jells.

And forget the really overloaded perfume flowers like lilies unless you intend to have all the bridesmaids perfume co-ordinated with the flowers.  Never mind all the guests wearing different perfumes as well. The Bride supposed to be the standout with a gentle wafting perfume that follows her into the venue not gallops through the door 5 minutes before she does.

I bought  new cologne the other day, on special. Since I can't go anywhere I'm wearing to bed, makes my dreams sweeter. It had all the citrusy ingredients I love and since it was a man's cologne (it was cheap special) it also had a touch of leather. I couldn't think how the leather would go and how did leather smell anyway.  By the time it had worn down to the base notes, I could just get a faint whiff, like wearing a new watch or walking into a shoe shop, an expensive shoe shop with delicate matching handbags or fine leather gloves, not politically correct these days. Then the smell was gone and the citrus stayed on. 

So there are your blogger influences for today and it's free.

5 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

That is a lovely dress.
Unlike many that I have seen recently.

Beth Waltz said...

This is very much a dream of Winterhalter dress, dear JahTeh, not at all like some of those Viva Las Vegas rhinestone nightmares that larger women ought not to wear. Reminds me of the gown HRM lent Princess Beatrice for her recent wedding: the added sleeves made it work for an afternoon event. Must admit I favor incorporating heirloom gowns and veils into the bride's ensemble. A nonagenarian friend told me he'd received a surprise request from his older (!) sister who runs a dress-making/alterations business. She was tasked with fitting a size 16 into a vintage size 10 -- and her cunning plan was to open the back and conceal this expansion with an attached train. She wanted his permission to use their mother's lace tablecloth as the train..."because it's faded to a matching shade of ivory, and Mama would be so pleased."
Like the sound of your new cologne. My fragrance de shutdown has been Fabreeze for Pets.

JahTeh said...

El Chi, good on those girls determined to have their dream dress without the dream body but I wonder what they think looking at the photos years later. I still have my wedding dress and the only thing I'd change is to bead the whole thing with pearls. It was linen with a raised Paisley pattern and hasn't changed colour. I also have my sister's dress which she forgets and panics that she might have thrown it out. We had no money so mum and I went to Lincraft and she made a beautiful dress out of the scrap remnants bin. Simple white silk faille but right in the bottom of the bin we found a rolled up bit of lace which had a tear (fixed) with glue)and it was very expensive Chantilly lace.

Beth, I always said to mum she should have known I would have liked her wedding hat and kept it. It was a white net 'southern belle' type that went with a short frock but the most ghastly white shoes that looked the size of canoes.
A size 16 into a size 10 must have been a task and a half. All in favour of lace tablecloths for anything. I made a really lovely lace Mantilla for a friend out of a curtain piece. I still have a box of doillies from the 1930s but I'm past that now, the fingers have worn out.

River said...

That dress is gorgeous! I don't like strapless dresses at any time and particularly not on brides, whatever size they may be.
Can you tell us what that cologne is called and what brand it is?

Ann ODyne said...

I think that bride gown is lovely too. & I agree with River & with Beth Waltz above.
Now I have to go over to Beths to find out if there is a zinc free febreeze because
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/hanging-in-the-febreze/
Wishing you all covid safe