Nearing one of the biggies

I like this, very Art Deco but as long as it isn't chocolate mud cake inside. I really like fruit cake and marzipan icing covered with delicious fondant icing.  Don't forget the booze.  An aged sherry would go well.

 Aquamarine and diamonds.   Doesn't it look like the sea and sparkling waves. Now I'm not greedy but if you could just manage to buy a ring to match, I'd be very happy.  Earrings would definitely be an overload.

  

A rose in any shape or form is something I love but a sponge cake with a hidden centre of rose jelly and cream, divine. I'd share it, promise.  Or maybe make it small and we could have one each, tea or coffee, of course not, sparkling Rose in crystal flutes.

Thank Annie O'Dyne for finding my lost sculpture, so me when I had long hair but short hair makes it easier these days.  That cat belonged to the artist and is not my precious Ice Bear.  I'd have had to nail his feet to the floor to put a bow around his neck.

I'm hurting again

My new chair I won on ebay for $25 and it is so comfortable and it has a feather cushion. The day was a monster for picking it up, I couldn't take my walker so made do with a walking stick. I wasn't steady, I panic when I'm in an unfamiliar place, so I used the stick and held on to the picket fence with the other hand. Who in the fecking heck paints a gate the same colour as the fence and doesn't put a handle on it. The fat lady didn't sing, she swinged on the opening gate. Then she swore a whole lot.  We managed to jam the chair in the back of the car and took off for home and I swear the sun set at the top of Westgate Bridge and it was pitch dark until all the lights came on.  Pitch dark at home but I'd left the lights on, yelled for the neighbour and his trolley and the chair was in place. I promised both of them never to ask another favour like that again.
Later on when I'd recovered I decided to see how comfortable the new chair was.  It was so comfortable, back just right for a head rest, seat fitted perfectly, see the height of that feather cushion, divine.  Ah but Houston we have a problem, by the time I'd sat on that soft cushion it was about 10cm high and I couldn't haul myself out.  That was a half hour of hell. I have a spare cushion which will go under the feathers, it might help after I have recovered from the 2nd fall in as many months.

There was wailing, crying, paining then lying flat to check for broken bits, me and the glass. I'd smashed into the chest of drawers and my art glass fell on me, nothing broken, fat broke our fall.  It has taken me 3 days to figure out how I went flying through the air not just a trip and fall, but flying from the hall to end up in the bedroom.  The hem of my dressing gown had come undone just enough to stand on it like a rock in an elastic band and propelled me forward, right side hit the drawers then crunched to the floor.  The bruise is shaping up to be one of my better ones.

Friday night is not a good time for Ambos calling on falling fat ladies so they sent out the 2nd team and they do not have pump up seats.  I have learnt a new way of getting up. You get a sheet, twist it longways, under the arms it goes, bend the knees provided nothing is broken, they each take an end, brace their feet and they pull and I push and I was up. The IceBear was such a help, you could see it in his eyes, "good thing she'd just filled my dish".  I wrapped up in my blanket and slept in the other comfortable chair until 2 when I went to bed. The hurting really starts the next day, fingers, elbow, shoulder, hip, knee and the toe with the nail half off. Plenty of pills and joy, I'd given in to temptation and bought mango and vanilla ice-cream and marshmallows to put in my black coffee, best tranquilizers ever.

Today I walked, slowly. Sat in the sun and read the paper, but by the time I was halfway home, the clouds appeared and it began to chill.  I did move 3 heavy things just to prove I wasn't completely useless.  Why does Nephew always arrive just as I've finished doing the hard stuff? 

Tomorrow's question is, will I push the couch out of the back door into the carport or sit beside the fire doing something gentle?  Advice dear bloggers?

Blog, please brain, blog

This is to remind all that I haven't forgotten you.  I've had this photo up as wallpaper for the past weeks, I named the ice floe 'Elephant's Child' and El Chi is right there as upstanding as Captain Smith on the Titanic. I am at the stage of posting Christmas in July goodies when the sleet and freezing wind decides to move on.  I have already been to Optus at Southland twice this week and one more day might have finished me off.  First time was a bust because I forgot to take my passport. Down to the first floor from the third to JBHiFi to buy a new battery for my camera. They don't have a battery for this camera.  But, but you have the camera on sale still and I do remember having to pay extra for a battery when I bought the camera and you still have a photo on the wall with the price.  Yes, we sell the camera but we don't have that battery.  By this time and you remember I've already been to Optus, my temper was ramping up to cyclone category 10 especially since he said I should try Ted's Camera Store which is on the third or second floor and I was on the first floor having just staggered down from the third floor.  Tell me, was I wrong in pointing out that selling an item that you know needs a battery (and I was pissed about that in the first place) and you know you don't have that particular battery in stock is in the region of FRAUD. Luckily I didn't put the camera in my bag as the security on the door wanted to search it and if I'd had an hour to spare I would have let him.  Third floor was a place to far to travel when I needed food and a new cafe had opened four staggers away.  Nice food, great coffee, lovely comfy banquettes to sit on but a little low to the floor for fat over balancing old tarts.  It took me five minutes to get up and out without knocking over the table or my walker or tripping over my feet. Elegance has had its day with me regarding comfy banquettes.

Back again to Optus the next day.  Girl on floor duty, familiar from frequent visits last year, said if I would come to the counter and speak quietly she would help me.  Apparently no-one would serve me because of my reputation, little bastard from yesterday got in before me because I was going to demand another person instead of him.  Karma still works, I was quiet and polite especially as she waited for 15 minutes for the Customer Care music to stop and a person answered. She finally had some higher up come and break into the music. I was still very polite even when she pointed out that it would cost me $45 cancellation fee to put the mobile back to pre-paid (memo:read contracts).  It's pre-paid but on a long period, instead of $30 a month it goes for 180 days or something. Yeah! I said I'd fix the Internet another day and it comes to mother's phone. I was dreading having to buy another phone because she's so used to using the answer button and nothing else on this old thing but joy, it only needed a new sim card and a new number and $30 credit also on a long whatever.  

So I am back to ringing twice a day on the landline to mobile and I'd say if Telstra ever added up how much 65 calls a month of up to an  hour or so cost they'd regret putting me on the $85 plan. Two days of taxi fares was up near $40 but at least the old girl had her phone back, she still can't remember how to ring me so the $30 is safe for the moment. Sister hasn't rung me so I haven't bothered to give her the new number.  Did I say she was back from the holiday in Qld?  She loves it there, can't wait to move and neither can I.  

I made a comment somewhere about wallpapering a ceiling, remind me to blog
that while the memory still has the brilliant horror of it all.  I can tell you how I removed it, locked the boys in the bathroom and promised money when they'd finished. Permission to destroy, there's nothing like it.
I will now have coffee which will cost me not a cent and then ring mother.
   

It's been a while

Sorry blog friends but it looks like I may be unblogging for a bit longer.
Not well which I hate saying since I know how many of my blog mates aren't in the greatest health.  

I'll be back soon and I do read your posts, I just can't comment.

Sorry for the emails I haven't answered but I have starred them and will get there. 

Christmas in July presents still unwrapped but gathered in little piles all ready.

Mother alive and sister still moving to Queensland.  The Ice Bear is getting fatter and I feel terrible about cutting off the tail of a tiny skink with the rubbish bin.

Mercury retrograde and I stop spending. Will the economy survive?

I remember looking at these about 4 years ago and filed a few photos away for all those odd brooches this house floats on.  Now they are all the rage either mounted on polystrene balls or special wire holders.

 It's why I've been trawling through ebay looking at the goodies on offer and looking at the quality and low prices.  Four years ago cheap meant cheap but now it's quite different.

I have that large bow and paid quite a bit for it about 8 years ago but worth it.  Of course one needs a large verandah for support so it's definitely a winter dress brooch.  It looks fantastic on anything I wear but everything looks fabulous on me. I was always dressed up when I visited Mother at the Home but these days, 10 years on I'm lucky to remember my knickers.

 My credit card is cringing as I work out how many of these brooches I have stored away in glass cases. I can see three of these on this wedding bouquet.
I wish I had had something like this at my wedding preferably loaded with a brick which I'd have used on the Bridal party to bring them into line.

 See those two pearlescent flowers in the front, $1 each and my mother wouldn't give them away, she wears them both.  Like all craft, it looks easy to make but takes patience and swearing but at least they don't droop in hot weather and would make a nice heirloom.

My favourite and I would love to make it now as a wall hanging.  It would be okay since fatso cat never raises a paw more than an inch from the ground.
My wish lists are full until Mercury behaves itself.  Before I start on anything like this, there is still an enormous Christmas tree to be assembled out of the ?????? Christmas brooches I have waiting.  That would have been done if the Nephew had sawn a straight line instead of being 2mm out on one corner.  

Boo to Malcolm the Miserable for the GST he's planning to put on overseas buying from ebay.

I am a comsumer of pretties

 I have a set of china mugs, 2 pink, 2 aqua and 2 white, gold edged and painted with Peonie roses.  I haven't used them in 3 years but I thought this spoon in each one would set them off in the crystal cabinet.

And while I was trawling through ebay I found this lovely Swarovski Princess brooch.  I have bought from this company before, a long pearl drop studded with tiny crystals and I bought the earring to match even though they were for pierced ears.  I had fittings, tiny and believe me they had to be tiny for the earrings and I converted them in a flash.  So this brooch is not for me but for Mothers Day and Mother.  She'll love it. 

This photo doesn't quite show the Swarovski sparkle but I loved the cut of the stone for the skirt.
I now have to stop shopping for pretties, the sales are over and the new stock has gone up in price but I have done well with only three to take apart for the stones because they were so badly made even I couldn't fix them.

I'm taking a break from Mother

Saw Doc Marvin yesterday and I am sick, lung rot is still there although down to budgie whistling level when I breath not the entire aviary I could hear two weeks ago. I'll be out today for scripts and maybe it will clear it up for good. I didn't look too good, forgot to comb my hair but did hairspray it, Bobo the clown, think about it.

As for the blood pressure, he wouldn't tell me what it was but I know it's high.
When I get swish swish boom boom in my ear drums I know it's high.

My mental state is still hovering on the red line to full break down.  His advice was to stop, just stop. Leave Mother to him, forget sister, forget Centrelink and definitely forget the Home for at least a week or more if I can get away with it.
The idea is rest even if I do sit in the chair and an hour goes by without me knowing it. I do ring her twice a day that's enough.  I'm really tired of going down there even though I'm rushed by everyone when I do turn up, something to do with raucous laughter and the place having life for a couple of hours.

I know when I really need help.  Yesterday I wanted baked beans and crisp bacon for breakfast so I zapped the beans in the micro wave. Cut off the fat and rind for the magpies and mixed it with odds and ends from the fridge and seed.
Sizzled the bacon on with the beans and whole grain toast all the time thinking about what I had to do including feeding the cat.  Wandered out and feed the Maggie family, feed cat on the way to my breakfast, just in time for my Lady Grey tea to add to enjoyment.  Yes the enjoyment, a bowl of birdseed and bacon rinds while the feathered mongrels chortled and fought over baked beans and crisp bacon.  I almost cried.  An egg on toast and another pot of Lady Grey unfortunately brain was still not in gear and I missed the pan and splonk on the floor. Best way to clean up splonked egg is to cover it with salt and let dry then scoop it up. Back to toast with Lady Grey.

 Sister is now going to Qld after Easter and Commonwealth Games.  She is practicing hard to become a member of the Northern Bogan Tribes.  Shopping last week and the wheel came off her jeepy thing and she had a full load so nipped into the nearest shop and bought a new one, transferred the load and then hid the broken one in the bushes.  There is an op shop in Mentone and she could have dropped it in there.  I just shut up. 

I'm expecting two parcels then I'm off to Southland for scripts and a quick visit to Mother.  I'll take her cake, that always shuts her up and I've bought her a lovely brooch for Mother's Day.  Long way off but if I don't do it now, I'll be wrapping a brick instead.

So shop today, do one heavy thing tomorrow then nothing except wash the dishes or finish the drafts I have half completed that is I've saved the photos but can't find the notes.  I might even get to those Christmas in July presents. See that's how you rest, just think about what to do and go to sleep in the chair. 

 

Black moon month

No full moon in February but plenty of sickness and tiredness and forgetting of things like a whole tub of coffee ice-cream in the back of the freezer. 
I'm sick but getting better but my lungs are still throwing up bits and my head is hurting.  I should have had antibiotics but by the time I realized I was that crook I was too bad to go out.  I never thought I would welcome the winter Olympics but I found I couldn't get any sleep lying down in bed so up in the chair and turn on the tv.  I'd watch, sleep, watch, sleep until I would stagger off to bed about 4 in the morning and sleep maybe an hour. Anyhow Doc Marvin is away to Hawaii for two weeks and he's been dealing with mother and I didn't want to load him up with this bug, he needs the rest and I could only think of a plane load of germ warfare would have Trump declaring war on us.
The Olympics had some weird and wonderful new ways to commit intensive pain and breakage.  The thought of flying down a bloody big jump, do somersaults and land on a steel rail only to somersault off to another steep downhill could only come from some deranged mind who thinks snow is a soft landing. Nuts. The snow was so hard on one day it stripped the bottoms off the skis.
As for the Russians, how dumb to you have to be when the BigWigs allow a few athlethes to compete under a neutral flag and they still drugged up. 
The problem was I would drift off to sleep in one event and wake up in another, very Alice in Wonderland. All this to a concerto of hacking coughs and squeeze the knees together dear, just in case.  I am not a fan of caged birds but that's what my lungs sounded like, squeaks, chirps, flutters, croaks and then the coughing would start.  Still it had its uses, scared the tripe out of the godbotherers, and cold callers hung up in a tick.

I haven't seen mother since February the 14th and when I ring in the morning, the first thing I do is hang a screaming cough into the phone.  I've told her I'm trying to get better for her birthday, see that, birthday, 7 days and she'll be 88 and expecting cake. She wants a clock for her birthday, I won't do it, 5 clocks in 9 years and everyone had something wrong with it. Wrong colour, ticks too loud, can't see the numbers and on and on.  I'm giving her money and she can bribe one of her minions to buy anything she wants.  But she does miss seeing me, in one day she had 4 visitors and in two weeks I've seen 3 people.

One thing about plonked in front of the tv is watching the ads.  Oh  how boring and loud.  And what's with the stupid tart filling the car at the service station in the middle of the night with two kids in the back seat? Great she can pay by mobile but doesn't she ever watch 'Supernatural' when vamps love hanging around waiting for twits like her.  I am already thoroughly over the Grand Prix and it's not even March. I am over all reality shows which are going to tsunami every channel now that the Olympics are over.  Forget dating shows, unless you're channel surfing in the middle of the night and come across Naked Island and that's exactly what they are, naked, drooping boobs and dangling knobs. It kept me awake for 10 minutes but boooooring, seen one droop, one dangle and you've seen them all.

I need a cup of tea and I know I haven't answered the comments on the last post.
The very late Christmas gifts or very early birthday presents are together at last and will be sent whenever.  Annie O presented a problem, her Lily goat broke a horn off and I didn't know whether to send a gold ribbon for the other horn to make her feel better.  I told you to get a horse, didn't I.

No dresses have been made or housework done in the writing of this post.

I'm going to bed and sleep for an hour

Mother again always Mother but she's not whining about pain just for sympathy.  I know the details and it's real pain and it shouldn't be happening but it is and I could hear it in her voice last night.  She didn't want to take Endone, a slow release painkiller because she might get addicted to it.  If you're in pain, it stops the pain and you stop taking it when the pain stops and by this time I'm hitting myself with the phone but she said she would because it's been a bad day and she really needs a night's sleep.  I rang the nurses station and explained so a real nurse gave the old girl her 10 pm medication with one extra slipped in.  They had to wake her at midnight to give her the other pill which lets her sleep the rest of the night.  She said this morning that even though she was asleep she had the feeling that someone was always  checking her.  She was right and I'm very glad for the two ladies who did that, properly trained nurses  who knew how to do it without too much disturbance.  Between the cat not coming in the door because he was playing with leaves and me expecting a phone call, I didn't get much sleep.

To everybody I owe an email to, they're coming also Christmas presents are almost ready.  Annie O, don't give me that I don't need a present, you're getting it.  You know what's more annoying than standing on lego, putting a foot on a little speed racer with wheels.  They must be weight tested.  I finally found River's gift in Elephant's Child's parcel, I can be too careful at not losing small things at times.

I wish I could insert here a home movie but I don't carry my camera around the house in case it takes shots of the mess.  I was just dozing off sitting in my chair when there was a riot go off at the back door.  What happens when a dumb dove meets a dumb cat with only a curtain between them, WW3 that's what.  Great flapping of wings and cat growlings, ripping of curtains but I managed to foot the Bear away and shepherd the dove towards the open door.  Freedom and it took off running so did the Bear but the dove gained height and the Bear gained the fence.  He's such an idiot of a cat. But I was surprised at how big the dove was and how strong. I should have left them go and let the best nong win.
I have found out the birds who have been eating the oranges and leaving the spherical shells all over the yard.  Those rotten Indian Mynah birds, they have long sharp beaks with small heads and once they get going they can get right inside the oranges. I watched two of them demolish two oranges in 10 minutes yesterday.  The possums have denuded the mandarin tree and it was a good crop this year.  The wormy apple tree is still feeding parrots and when they fall from the tree, the blackbirds run in and grab the worms inside.   One afternoon, hardly a breeze and just warm enough to enjoy the sun, I sat out with the Bear (I protect him from the birds) and counted six different birds in the tree and a family of magpies on the ground.  The blackbird has a nest in the lemon tree and two doors down is an enormous Norfolk Pine full of Ravens.  The one bird we have never had here are sparrows.

Well,  miles to go before I sleep, it's bin day and I am still sneaking videos in both bins.  We have inspectors around here who check the recycling bin and I'll be fined for this.  Sneak them in layers of paper.  Perhaps a cup of tea first and a sit down.  And thank you Barnaby for explaining that Preggers was not your partner at that time, back handed compliment, but was only a f--k buddy.   Well we've been saying for years you never thought with your head and now Karma has proved us right.  To your lovely wife, remember what Ivana Trump said, "don't get even, get everything".

There's a bad moon rising

We have a super moon this week, very close to earth and I'm not sure if we will have the blood moon of the northern hemisphere or just a weak version. 
I know it's an old wives tale that a big super moon makes strange things happen but this week already we have had 3 volcanic eruptions, earthquake off Alaska setting off a tsunami and trust Japan to do it better, volcanic eruption with avalanche. 
Icing on the cake, snow covering the Sahara.  We had a meteor miss the planet last week an no-one saw it coming. They did see it passing. 

Starfish are eating the Great Barrier Reef, rumours of a crocodile wandering Yeppoon and an epidemic of poisonous Stone Fish on Qld beaches.  Bats are falling out of the trees because of the heat, dead before they hit the ground.  

BUT MOTHER STILL LIVES.  Bloody woman and her cockroach DNA.

Yes more drama, don't ask.

I'm waiting on the moon.

Science catches up

Scientists  have just put out a report that there is such a thing as "baby brain", where pregnant women, some women, are just not at their best.  Hands up all mothers who already knew this and could have walked all over this research.  It's only small things like forgetting where you left the car keys or the car or the car with the husband sitting in it.  Baby brain seems to hit more in the third trimester although I swear mine went way over 9 months.  I wandered home with groceries, vaguely acknowledged a cute kid in a pram and didn't realized until I was halfway down the street that the pram and kid were mine.

That photo of ice coldness is my favourite at the moment.  Do your friends tell you they remember summers much hotter than we have now and how fantastic the days were?  I wouldn't, I hated the heat, hated not being able to sleep, getting burnt walking to the letter box and never having enough ice blocks for cold water drinks.  I couldn't wait for Autumn.  Warm days and snappy nights.  So Ex and his blonde have moved house, even further away from me, lovely.  I now have another hobby, how high is the temperature where they'd moved to, currently mostly 40 degrees, bwahahhaha.  She hates the heat.

And today is the end of the first year of President Dumbkins, only three more to go.  He says he's kept all his promises made during election, he's forgotten that most women loathe him, of course they are fake women.  He also carries fake fat, it's not there, you're not seeing it, he's svelte but I want proof.  Him and Abbott, swimming, matching budgie smugglers, I'd pay to see that.  He'd have to put diving weights on his hair.  

Don't forget the 26th, National BBQ Day.  Get in early to bludgeon a marsupial for the barbie.
And waste another million or so dollars for fireworks, a real waste when Mother Nature has put on a fire display for nothing in the last few weeks.

I might enjoy it this year, Bombay Sapphire comes in litre bottles and it's on special, a gift bottle of wine that has a hint of passionfruit after taste and 4 cans of DoubleBlack Vodka.  The vodka was stuck at the back of the fridge, I thought it was diet Coke.  One can makes me see double, 2 cans would make Highriser look  like George Clooney.  But as you can see not one animal was injured in the making except if I trip over the cat.

Was it better when we only heard the news?

One cup of coffee, watch the news for how many weathers we will get for the day and I might as well be watching a disaster movie.  Volcano blows in New Guinea, 7.1 earthquake in Peru and a plane skids off the landing strip and falls over a cliff.  I couldn't believe it was just stuck on the cliff and didn't go further and crunch into the sea.  Everyone was saved, even with my dodgy knees I'd have been up that cliff in a rush.  And a fish sank one of the yatchs coming home from Tassie.  

They think it might have been one of these, a Sunfish or Mola Mola. Not only is the sunfish the world's heaviest bony fish, with some individuals weighing in at a staggering 2.3 tonnes, but it also possesses a truly bizarre body shape, likened to a gigantic 'swimming head'. The sunfish has no tail, with the caudal fin reduced to a rudder-like structure, called the clavus. 
With a head like that it could run and win for Parliament.  I was watching the Great Barrier Reef last night, might as well while we still have it and this object likes to swim up to the warm waters and have smaller fish chew off its parasites then swims down to the colder waters again.
See, I told you, Parliament.  The Front benchers crawl after the back benchers when they want a vote then piss them off  when they don't need them.

Anybody watch the 17 hours of the Ghan?  I could only suffer that from inside the train with unlimited booze and food and a good book.  The night before I watched the last five minutes which was absolutely riveting.  Driver's voice and a mile back down the track, another voice, counting off the carriages as they drew into the station, right down to the last 6 feet.  I tried another channel and got the cricket and near died of excitement.

Do try and watch the news tonight and do not switch off when Barmy Joyce rattles on about the inland rail which he talks about as though he is going to personally lay every block of wood along the entire length while carrying a rail on each shoulder.   Just keep your eyes on the 'tit fer tat', it is hilarious.  A giant orange pumpkin sitting on a smaller beady eyed pumpkin, nay not so much orange as neon glow orange or maybe it was yellow, my eyes were beginning to glaze over.
Now he's involved in the usual bunfight about Australia Day, honestly the man is a multi-tasking mouth.  I'm sorry I couldn't find a photo but I think the Mola Mola deserves its moment in the sun, alone.
 

12 days into the new year and where am I?

Exactly where I was last year so much so I picked up my diary and peeled back the cover to put a nice fabric and ribbon on it when I realized it was last year's diary which I never got the time to put fabric and ribbon on.  It was glancing at the first week which was so like this week and I'm easily confused these days.  So now I have two diaries to cover.  My sister says time wasting but I hate writing in a naked book and she also called me a hoarder but then a neighbour needed an item the other day and I had the very item and it probably has been in the same place for the last 5 years.  Excuse, I was just interrupted by delivery man carrying more mother work for me.  I will just love sitting down this afternoon cutting the exact size in the colostomy bags after I unpack from the individual plastic bags, take away the paper, pop off the stiff plastic protector from 30 of the bloody things and put the plastic clips on the bottom.  At least I don't have to pay for them if I don't count the taxi fare to get them to her.  And that will fix the arthritis in that hand for about 3 days. 

Doc Marvin is still looking after her and he told me to take my time fixing up the grave as she'll be here for some time.  I may have to kill him, all the crappy doctors in the system and she had to get the best one ever.   

 Did I blog the bushfire in Cheltenham?  Went through the Park, clipped the golf course and burnt two patches in the Pioneer Cemetary and in one of those patches was the family grave.  That's how the year started.  Sister went to see what damage was done, mostly watery ash, she said.  I'll go and clean the plaques in case she gets all house wifey and uses metal polish when bronze should only be cleaned with furniture polish.  There, see, I do have the theory of house cleaning, I just don't have the inclination to use it.  I forgot, after 10 or 11 years, certain members of the family have just discovered what a blog is and that I have one, so if I insult anyone, it's intentional and if you don't like it, don't read it and piss off.

And shut up any pious readers, I'm in pain and according to our beloved Government pain killers will not do me any good and I should find an alternative, I have, I swear a lot and loudly.

This heat has made the arthritis flare up and my usual swearing doesn't seem to work as well as it used to. I even had a shower at midnight last night, didn't help.  Perhaps I should haunt the wharves again and polish up my salty vocab although seeing  "spotted dick" Dutton's head is enough to bring up breakfast and antique blasphemies.  There are so many Parliamentarians who I would love to see standing on a landmine (trigger word, hello Asio) he is the one who is top of the list.  Fancy that creep gathering up all the power to, pardon while I chortle, keep us safe when a cockroach could take him down with one mandible.  I like that word, mandible, sounds so butch and cockroaches are really butch but I don't know if they have mandibles.  Oh wow, a vision of spotted dick disappearing under a herd of snapping mandibles.  I suppose it was maudling Malcolm who made him minister for killing anyone who won't eat a lamb chop on Australia Day.

Apart from still trying to clean up last year's clutter/mess/mustneverthrowout/books, I am also tossing a 6 foot tall bookcase full of mother videos not dvds but the other lumping great things.  I cry at the  money spent on them but the op shops won't touch them and after ma's shredded the tapes I couldn't say they would be in good condition.  To the right of me is a CD tower of her favourite music, discs which took me a week to put back in the right covers.  She said the other day that she'd listened to Shumann's or Shubert's (always get them mixed up, one was married to Clara and the other died of syphilus) Unfinished Symphony and loved it, never heard it before, 3 copies in that tower plus several triple up Mozart's everything he ever composed. 

Maybe I'll have a cup of tea and think of what to do or just go to sleep in the chair while a machine does my washing.

Keep reminding me it's a new year while I shake off the old one.

This was one of 2017's super moon but we have 3 in this new year.  Nature saved the best til last and that will be a blood moon at the end of January.  Apparently it's best seen from Adelaide so hang on River, there could be a mob at your door from moon rise to moon set.

2017 was not a good year, hardly a month when I was not ill.  Mother is still with us although she did not look good on Christmas Day.  If there is one Royal Commission we should have, it's a thorough going over the Aged Care Homes, not for just the care but for the pittance they pay the staff, the inadequate training they receive and the sneaky methods these so called 'not for profit' organizations manage to stay a mm within the law.  So few staff were on for Christmas Day, it was disgraceful, the girls were exhausted and the 'not for profit' refuses to pay for extra Agency Staff when needed.  Mother wasn't settled down for night until 11 p.m. and she'd been up at 7.30 a.m., put to bed at 4.30 and I didn't leave until she'd eaten some food,  didn't fancy her usual egg sandwiches but the chef made mince pie with custard disappeared in a flash.

In an interesting co-incidence I had ordered beautiful silk and silk paper peony roses to renew the rather tatty flowers at the family grave in the Pioneer Cemetary in Cheltenham.  The next day a fire started in the Park, skirted the golf course and hit two spots at the cemetary.  The grave wasn't damaged but the flowers were nicely singed.
If you're cemetary loving type then take a tour here . 

New Year's Eve was so quiet around here, it was almost spooky.  I believe the fireworks in Sydney and Melbourne were spectacular but call me Grinch when I think of them as an appalling waste of money.  The Bear has been through so many thunderstorms  lately that he's lost his fear of loud bangs, he just curled up a little tighter in my NEW second hand Laura Ashley arm chair.  It is so comfortable to relax in so naturally Mr Luxury has taken it over.

I have a plumber coming tomorrow to give me bad or good news.  I could hear running water in the kitchen but everything was dry so I tried outside and the hose was gushing brown water, that's rusty water.  The tap was turned off tight so it's either a washer (hope) or a pipe has gone behind the brick wall and the plaster (please no).  But forty year old  copper pipes are not destined to last forever.  I keep moving the hose to the citrus trees and they are loving it.  I've had a bumper crop of Mandarins this years and the possums have been in Heaven but have no manners at all and leave the peel all over the front yard and the footpath and the nature strip. I have visions of several sitting in the paperbark tree and catching the fruit thrown over my 6 foot high brick fence.  The little green parrots are back in the apple tree and I'm not sure which bird has been enjoying the oranges.  It must have a long delicate beak since the round skins sit in the yard completely empty of pulp, just a small hole in the top.  Lovely though to walk out and get a fresh orange for the vodka and the limes will be ready for the Gin in about 2 weeks.

I had a slight problem with the Christmas cards this year, I'd like to say the dog ate them but it was my mother.  She can barely use her hands to cut out for her cards so she just took mine.
She needs to have something to do even if it takes her a week so the brain thought and when a wedding invitation caught my eye, I tracked down invites on ebay.  Some will let you buy a sample so that's what I did, trawled through and found some beautiful laser cut cards.  All she has to do is stick jewells and pearls on the front and post.  Fixed the problem of jewells and pearls being too big, she took my small ones I'd bought for my Christmas cards so that's why you lot aren't getting any this year.  There are presents, everywhere and Annie O'Dyne is getting
a 5 year old one.  How I could have kicked it under the bed and forgotten where it landed is beyond me, I mean 5 years ago my brain was still working.  Dear Annie I will brush 5 years of dust off before I send it.   

Now if you don't get another post for a week, it only means that an entire bookcase of videos has fallen on me and I am being used as food by the Bear.  Wish me luck. 

Half of me is back.

It's been a stinker of a year and I'm still not sure of making the end of December.  Mother has nearly died twice but she's still here trying to outlive her twin sister.

I have 2/3 of a complete depression which I'm sure will disappear when Optusnet decides that I don't owe them nearly $700 for doing nothing except give me depression.  They have handed me over to the debt collectors who are a call centre employed by Optus in Manila where all calls go to die.
I don't ring from home, I sit in the Optus Centre at Southland and sit and sit while in Manila they play pass the phone around the call centre but it is not my money.   They are now going to go through all the calls made since this nonsense started, well that's going to be an education in Australian swearing.

I also fell over.  As Annie O'Dyne says, rubbish bins have a negative force field and she's right. I just lost my balance slightly and went down on the nature strip but avoided rolling into the gutter and on to the road.  Managed to crawl upright and pull myself away from any 4 wheel drives.

I could see my neighbour hadn't put his bin out so I just waited for help.  Trouble was I had put on my nightdress then remembered the bins so I threw on a dress and my old comfy horse blanket. Didn't think I would need knickers being a short stroll down the drive. How wrong can one be.  The nature strip is not lush grass, it's sand and couch grass and tree roots. Sand up the wazoo and scratches over the large backside.  See, did you immedately hear you mother yelling about clean underwear in case of accidents.

Lovely man from just around the corner did a U turn and asked if he could help so I rang the ambo's and waited. I know motor bikes can be really huge but splonked on the ground they look the size of an aircraft carrier. Neighbour comes out and nearly has a heart attack but recovers nicely to ask if I had room in my bin for some of his rubbish.  Other neighbour arrives home and offers to put a rope on the tow bar and pull me up which probably would have worked but the traffic was starting and I didn't care to be mid air with the sound of screeching brakes.  The neighbours took photos, lovely of them.

By now motor bike man had picked up his daughter from Day Care and the sun was disappearing and I was chilling.  All the cars stopped to help and I felt like saying, "Beached whale, move along, nothing to see here".  Ambos turned up with the right pump up cushion and I was the centre of attention again. Being on uneven ground, one pump went one way, next pump went the other so there was a neighbour to the left of me, neighbour to the right of me and she was getting the hang of pumping, ambos to the front to stop me going too far over. With the walker in front and on the last pump, I was up and walking. The girls said they should have these pump up cushions in every ambulance until I let them know they cost up to $4000.   I walked quite steadily inside where my blood pressure was 190/90, a tad high but worse my core temperature was down below what it should be.  Sitting on crappy sand and grass with the moon coming up will do that. I wasn't going to hospital, they tried to insist but I had a date with a sand remover.

Motor bike man thought it was lovely that the Bear was sitting behind to gate to watch over me. Not likely, he hadn't been fed yet.
The next day is always the worse with sore bits and hurting muscles and I had to go to Optus who had sent me an account which I couldn't leave for too long and I was in the mood for punching someone.

So Spring has sprung and I'm sneezing, it's supposed to snow next week and I'm wondering if they'll let me take the Bear to Debtor's Prison.  One bright ray of sunshine was finding out what we all knew but he confirmed, the mad monk is a pisspot. 

Almost normal

I can't believe how long it is since I had enough energy to blog.
Most of May is a blank and you will be pleased about that since I contracted a vile bacterial infection that laid me flat on my back for nearly two weeks.
I know I've said some crappy things about my sister over the years but when she knew what I was going through, she arrived with face mask, rubber gloves and starting washing the unspeakable towells that were in the bath. She even washed the dishes and vac'd the carpet. I don't think I've ever been so glad to see her before.

Three home visits from Doc Marvin and his offsider and the right medication and I started to recover and this morning I walked to the shop for my first coffee in over a month.  Coffee is the first thing I go off when I'm crook.  But parched and trying to eat to take pills, a mouthful of ice cold lemonade is divine.

In the middle of all this the nbn shows up again.  And Optusnet is lucky it shuts down for the weekend.  After 5 calls this week I could not stand another imbecile to hate and want to punch. I now have internet, mobile but no landlines, I don't even know if the mobile is wifi or still pre-paid.
The nbn 2nd moron without telling me moved the connection outside next to my bedroom. The nbn 3rd had a brain and asked me was that where I wanted it, no, two windows down next to my study where the bloody computer is.  He was good, even put back the loose tiles for me, did something he wasn't supposed to but I did look like death and connected the nbn thingy.  All this after I'd dragged so much out of the sewing room so the guy could get to the corner which they never used.  The study, I didn't touch so this poor bloke had to crawl through the shredding carpet, dust and rubbish to put in the whatever.  The saga is continuing and I have some Optus piece of crud coming out next Friday to make sure everything is set. I will hide the geologist's pick and the hammer.

Next on the list was the specialist for sinus.  I had to dye my hair,  it had turned white while I was ill but still had some red on the tips.  I looked like a cockatoo.  I had been too weak to shower and was washing in the bathroom basin but I needed a shower.  I had everything ready including a chair to sit on while I dried off.  Carefully into the shower, wash dye out of hair, wash legs while I'm bending over because standing up makes me woozy but a sort of bang made me stand up quickly as the hot water tap sprayed boiling water everywhere.  Fortunately I don't have a fixed shower head and banged the arm down to the wall and I'm stuck in the corner.  After edging my way out and standing in the cold I still manage to wash.  After that I rang SE water faults and the girl asked if that noise was the water running, Niagra Falls was still going.  Could I go outside and turn off the water, no.
Do you have a plumber, no.  I've always called them for plumbers involving loads of water so she had one in the area. He arrived, 20 minutes later the disintegrated washer in the tap was fixed and so was my $105.00.

Next day, cold and I never realized how far away North Road Brighton was as I watched the taxi fare climb.  Half hour in a freezing cold (oh how I hate polished board floors) waiting room and slightly more than half an hour, consultation and camera up my nose (no, I didn't want to watch a movie of the inside of my nose) no cancer or tumour , deviated septum and he lost interest in operating when I let him know I didn't have medibank Private.  Out I go to the desk where I'm presented with a $335.00 account, oh yes he bulkbills after you pay, thank goodness for credit cards, done and I got a refund in the bank before I was home.  Raining now, taxi at least knew where he was going and another fist full of notes disappeared.

I don't know the results yet because I'm still saving for my doctor.  Mick the mower beat him to the last of my savings.  And there is still two pairs of glasses to be picked up, $200 each but I had money back on those because it was only lens.

And just to edge me closer to breakdown, I have Annie O'Dyne driving around Melbourne from up bush and Antikva telling me she wasn't well and me yelling get to the hospital and by the time she took notice, she had to be operated on. Thank God we live at opposite ends of the state or we'd probably kill each other.   Mother is fine, thanks for not asking.  She got such a shock at how I looked, pre hair renovation, that she insisted I stay home and just ring her.  Of course I don't have a landline, thanks Optus, thanks Malcolm Turnbull, you cretinous moron.

It was all go this morning

Groceries were supposed to arrive between 8 and 11 so I was up at 7.  Doing all the lovely stuff on the computer that I used to run around doing.  Always check the Book Depository bargains and today we have a winner.  I have had a book on my wishlist for so long but could not justify the $139 it was priced at but I kept it there to look at.  150 years of Wartski's by Geoffrey Munn and 200 photographs, a lot of the socialites and royalty wearing the jewells.  I've bought books before with not enough photos and very wordy almost text book about jewellery but I thought I couldn't go wrong with Geoffrey. The lovely man who almost shakes out of his shoes when he gets a shinning jewell on the Roadshow.  It was reduced to $80, this is the moment a credit card shines so I bought.

By this time it was no good getting in the shower so breakfast instead.  Knock on door, nbn has arrived but only to put the box on the outside.  Another crew will turn up at some time and put the box on the inside.  No shower.  Groceries turn up and I am furious that for the second time they have run out of potatoes which means going out and carting home the heavy things. 
nbn crew are still on the roof, no shower.
Another fluoro vest goes past, I'm expecting mail, he's going too fast to drop off mail.  Fluoro does a u-turn down the drive and drops two parcels at the door and I find another in the mail box this afternoon and he doesn't shut the gate.  No shower yet.  nbn crew move along and I close my eyes for a moment after ringing mother and wake up at midday with the usual drool down my chin and a parched throat like the Gobi desert.  At least I try to wake up, it takes a while and I still haven't showered.  There's plenty of time to do that and get to Southland but I stand up and the world turns.
I feel like someone has punched me on the cheekbone, there is a pain in my forehead so I decide to sit down again.

Too much rushing around this morning, not enough sleep last night (full moon) and I am sitting here waiting to have a shower and wash my hair to go out tomorrow.  I think I'm just about steady enough if I move carefully.  The cat is waiting for his bowl, the eyes are boring into my back. 

Apart from the sinus whatever and the after affects of Prednisolone I am still shaking and anxious.  I should know by now that having anything to do with granddaughters also means the ex daughter in law.  One should forgive and forget, I don't, I forget entirely the fact that she still lives until something happy comes up and she is there.  I know too much about her to forgive, it's easier to forget and most of the time I can.  A lot of friends have gone from my life, moved on or upwards and I no longer think of them but she is personal.  She is a toad under a rock, in her mind she has turned her life around and now bathes in the love of God, such a hypocrite.  I bet the Devil is happy, she won't be sitting at his right hand.  That felt good, nothing like a bit of bile and bitterness thrown at someone who doesn't know it.  I'm still shaking but a hot shower is on the way.  Funny thing is, I don't hate the bitch, she lost far more than I did, I just don't want to acknowledge she exists.

Hot shower and hair wash, if you don't hear from me, send the Ambos around to pick me up off the tiles.

My mind was made up for me.

So three years ago, I had a CT scan for the deviated septum and because it wasn't something that seemed important, I thought another year would be okay.  Except now it is affecting my balance badly.  Usually one bad fall a year and ring the Ambos who bring the blow up cushion and I'm right.  It's so annoying to hurt yourself trying to get up than it does crashing to the ground.  
It 's a joy to remember to turn to the right, turning off the kitchen light turn to the light in the lounge first, sit on the bed before standing and don't cover the right nostril or oxygen doesn't get in.
Bite the bullet, sister, and get thee an appointment at the specialist and I wasn't expecting 30th May but we have it.  Another CT scan, blood test but no fasting test because of some other medication that sends glucose all the way to the moon.  I still have the 2014 scan so they can tell the difference.  Just as long as no one decides to stick a sharp thing up my nose for a biopsy while I am still conscious.

It wasn't a flying leap out of the back door, I just put recycle paper in that bin, turned to grab the walker to get the mail and I was sitting on the bottom step. I didn't want to scratch the skin on my legs on the concrete so I swung around and managed to up myself to the next step.   You all know by now the rules of knee replacements, never sit with bum lower than knees unless you're some little fairy like thing that can float upwards.  I could hold the walker but trying to pull myself up with that would just bring it down on the top of my head.  I needed two strong blokes to lean on the walker and I'd have been up in a trice.  Instead I had to crawl inside to get to the phone and crawling across the steel rails of the sliding door is not fun.  And I mean bum crawl, not on knees, that's a screaming crawl with loads of swearing.  So I manage the door to the carpet and plonk for a moment.  Oh my giddy aunt, the floor doesn't look too bad when standing up but at cat level, it's appallllling.  Never let anyone tell you a short hair cat does not shed.  From floor level it looked like spider webs hanging off everything and believe me I''m trying not to look down a week later.

I should have pulled a cushion to the floor before I rang because the bones started to feel like they were trying to slice through the blubber after a while.  I always get guilty ringing in case an ambulance is urgently needed elsewhere but they just by-pass me and ring to let me know.  It's a shame they didn't pass on the message to the three ambos who turn up that I needed the blow up cushion, I had to wait another half hour.  That was after this little creature took my blood pressure with a crushing that would have done Arnie proud.  That was the arm that must have hit the sliding door and I hadn't noticed but do I have a bruise that could outdo a sunset at Broome Beach.
Next lot turn up.  No small blow up cushion, we have the lifeboat off the Titanic again and because of the moronic nbn who need to get into my sewing room, right in the corner, the lounge is crowded with "STUFF".  Impossible to move the coffee table.  So she spreads it all out and says could I slide down and on to the rubber.  Oh no problemo except for the three large pipe openings where the hose goes in to blow it up.  What she really meant was, let's go for it and rip you a new one.

Here we go and tell the experts, roll that in half, I will roll over as far as I can towards the coffee table or if you like the Carpathia and you can slide the flat rubber behind me up to my shoulders. I will then roll over and you can pull it straight and then blow it up.  Stares of surprise, the fat lady is right.
20 seconds later and I'm ascending and I say another 4 inches but why,  well by the time I get to the bottom of this to stand up I'm going to have squished it right down so she does that and I squish it down to the right size and stand up, walk over to my chair and sit.  They are always so surprised that I have not hurt myself but I'll hurt tomorrow.  Another blood pressure test which is 160 over I'm not telling you and they're off.

Cat gets up on the chair, stares into my eyes and asks if my can opening hand is broken.  Bloody get up and open his tea.  I'm thinking of my tea but decide not to bend over to find the gin.  I do decide to ring the doc and make an appointment for the morning.  Then I make a promise that if all this STUFF is going to be hanging around I'd better make it tidy so for the last week I've been playing with fabric and throwing out STUFF.
Arm is still glowing sunset.  My mother has been told that anywhere near the 30th, a near death experience will not keep me by her side.  The balance on the left side is actually bothering me especially after this week when I bent down to pick up a safety pin which went straight into my foot and I backed up to the toilet and jammed the foot on top of the toilet roll and sat until it stopped bleeding.  Bravely I showered, got out, towelled down and I'm bleeding again.  The towell was rough and I'd rubbed the fine skin too hard.
Bedroom, throw myself onto the bed, bandage up the leg and then deal with the foot.  Do you know how hard it is to hold a small torch, mirror and bandaid in one hand while trying to find a small hole that doesn't want to be found.  I managed, better than cutting down on this blog post.

My stars said I would have a great month, my Tarot said straight ahead, all will be well, my Angel cards said happy addition to the family....What?? but that was the engagement and she has asked me to bead part of her dress.  Sharp beading needles, white lace, hope next month's astrology is good.

I suddenly feel older.

My youngest Granddaughter

just announced her

Engagement.

Why bother?

This is Ashley James and she's wearing a  Bluebella emerson bra.  At least she's not wearing a Bluebella emerson thong, painful.  Coming from someone who should register her boobs as lethal weapons, I really shouldn't throw tits at tits but these look so uncomfortable I just had to speak up.
I know feminists are supposed to support women in anything they choose to do and wear and if Ashley wants to tie herself in triangles, good for her.   All I can see is me tying myself in knots trying to figure out what string goes where and what part will it support.  

This is when I thought of men wearing this, they'd only have to wear half of the Bluebella emerson but wait for a moment and it will blow your mind, yes, you've got it. Their anatomy means two bits will fall out and one bit will be strangled. A fitting revenge for the comfort of their boxer boy legs they didn't think we should wear.  

Is that a little garbled?  Well I haven't had any coffee and I'm going to see mother and I can't find any knickers which is why Ashley got right up my nose.  I am wearing underwire bras but one wire has gone missing so slightly lopsided until I yoiked up the strap and I am now even.  I need coffee.