That's what it feels like.
Vicious old harriden has given way to nice daffy old lady.
Daffy old lady with a five minute short term memory who rings at 8.15 at night to find out what time it is, morning or night because she's been asleep.
We have the pills fixed, almost. She takes half in the morning, half at night with no in-betweens to confuse her.
I'm not sure how much pain she would be in without the morphine but she is noticing pain under the shoulder and down the left arm. She can't hold a pen or write with her left hand, that hurts.
The morning phone calls are more like they used to be. I can hold a conversation with her even if it's the same one I had the day before. She is laughing again, something that's been missing for a while.
She's still like a CD with a scratch and her brain jumps a track, my mind reading skills are improving. When she says 'you know' I usually do.
But it's hard to wind down. I'm still expecting the tongue lashing every time the phone rings. Sis assures me that this won't happen again. The more she forgets, the happier she becomes. Unfortunately I'm not forgetting, not until this mood goes on for another week or so.
She hasn't forgotten to be pissed off about Aunt Selma, that could go on forever.
24 comments:
OK, I might have been a tad unfair there, JahTeh. I know you love your mother. I know you're often near the end of your tether. I know it's damn hard. I know you're only venting. As I said, give me a good tongue-slgjmlashing. You'll feel better.
That was no typo, that was mad Google inserting word verification where it wasn't needed. God I hate Google!!!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Actually, I was completely out of order,JahTeh. And wrong. Please forgive my crazy outburst.
Gerry, for someone who's been in the army I'm surprised you've never learned the right thing to do. This is about the lowest I've seen.
There's a proper way to say things, but I don't think you know.
You removed the post so I assume it was your usual CabSav tongue running away with you. 11.51 on a Saturday night, that'd be right.
As an old Army bloke you'd know about debriefing and that's really what's needed here before we start the next round. This morning she laughed at something I said and it really has been so long since she laughed it was good to hear.
RH, don't get a blog, google will enslave you. We need your mind to be free.
You're right of course, RH. I should be off somewhere, killing people whose only crime has been to differ with us ideologically, religiously or culturally, and "liberating" them by shoving our "values" down their throats at the point of a gun.
JahTeh, yeah, the Cab Sav...
Hang in there.
Gerry, in the army you study mateship.
You failed.
Really, I don't know why she has you here at all.
You're a shit bucket.
Total.
RH, JahTeh has me here because I bring a breath of fresh air to blogs polluted by your intellectual farts. In the Army you learn to hate and kill. You learn to become a racist redneck white supremacist. I don't have many kind words to say about that aspect of Army training. You, OTOH, would no doubt thrive in that environment.
I was going to post this this morning, but thought I better think more about it. But I can only write what I thought this morning.
Oh!
Yes, Andrew, I sometimes say some VERY ill-considered, wrong, unfair things. And I rightly get crucified for them. I'll aim for perfection NEXT lifetime. What if there's no perfection. There wasn't any today...
I'll have the comment-count for this post up to 100 before I quit, JahTeh. ;-)
Well golly but you'll have to do that on your own, I wouldn't stand in the same room as you, and that's all.
JT, I saw the comment but was too dumbfounded for a while. It was way out of line but we all know it takes a good heart and a good conscience to apologize. What you are going through hits a raw nerve for everyone, even bears. So never you mind. This is your space and you write WHATEVER you want and say it however you want.
One of the most profound things you wrote long ago was that you don't believe in the blogwriter deleting comments and you gave a reason. I would like to say that your generous hospitality here, and your equally generous comments in other people's blogs, have always impressed me and made me feel welcome.
JahTeh, I admire beyond all measure your sense of humour, your wit, your courage, your strength, and your sensitivity. I have learned immeasurable wisdom while reading your words, and I do not mean the science articles. My kudos to you, dear lady.
Ditto.
You know as well as I do that people get pissed -letting the cat out of the bag by saying what they REALLY THINK, then later shit themselves and apologise. And yet you pretend to award this mongrel a good heart and good conscience? What rubbish. He's sorry alright, sorry he came undone, that's all.
Well I know you pair of foreign einsteins have never liked me, so it's no surprise you'd support anyone at all -even a low bastard like this- to get a shot at me. Which puts you in fine yellow-bellied company alright. My word yes. Company you deserve.
Bums.
And leaving you to it.
That's it, that's all.
JahTeh, I don't know either RH or Gerry. I had intended that note up there to be supportive of you and you alone.
RH, in your monodimensional, monoculturral, monobraincelled world, there can only be one reason for my comment. i.e. the reason your lonely brain cell managed to ecclect from your reading of it.
Has it ever occurred to you, RH, that in my pissed state I mis-read JahTeh's current comment and was actually releasing some bottled-up annoyance (probably unfounded), from reading this blog over a protracted period; said annoyance having probably more to do with my hyperjudgmental nature than with JahTeh's comments?
Hyperjudgmentalism is something you would be quite familiar with, no? We are, you and I, RH, quite similar in some respects. This is why we get along so well, wouldn't you say? ;-)
Hyperjudgmentalism, I can hardly say that sober.
RH, don't call the bear a mongrel, he's a little shaggy and moth eaten but an endangered species nonetheless.
Bear, you and RH have more in common than you know including not suffering fools gladly. The bloggers in question will not be named.
Thank you Andrew, Kurt, Janet and Outofcontrol, these last two months have been the worst and now she doesn't remember any of it. Now we have to put it behind us and that's the hard part.
JahTeh, RH is a blathering idiot. You OTOH, are a gem. Sorry about my derogatory comment. Shoot me. Blog on...
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