Not for long.
I had a "Clayton's breakdown", the kind you have when you don't go all the way over the edge. My body was walking around but my mind was snivelling and hiding in a corner somewhere and didn't want to come out and play. It took a lot of bribery and hysteria pills to coax it into some order and out of the blubbering stage.
It was my fault for trying to meditate and lower the stress levels. It appears that tension is the only thing holding the cells together. I've forgotten how to meditate anyway. The only time my mind shuts up is never. One half tried very hard to be still and calm, the other half was like a yapping dog looking for its bone.
I think I'm okay now but I did pass the chocolate aisle yesterday and didn't want any. That's a worry. I've also stopped perving on guys in tight jeans, although that could be age not depression and a dearth of decent perves.
It's scary that I went this way when I haven't had an episode for years. I've been so happy ever since the Blight left that I haven't had time for meltdowns. Fortunately I'm always prepared and have a drawer full of chemical assistance to get me through the night, day, week, month, however long it takes.
It wasn't trying to clean up the desk either, the papers are still hovering. I have finished a meme and knitted a scarf (badly). Sense of humour didn't dessert (desert, spelling might have) me. I laughed at a small child who dropped his ice-cream and stood in it at Westfield yesterday.
I believe we're having Spring already. The north wind can piss off for a start. Influenza A is bringing down oldies, Equine Flu is raging through horses and Howard the Wart is still at Kirribilli. George the Looney is looking to notch Iran on his gunhandle before he goes out in a blaze of glory.
Dearie me, the mind is starting to edge towards its hideout again, better go bribe it with food.