Friday, September 05, 2008


The virus that was having such fun chewing up my lung got lonely so it invited a friend in to chew up my kidneys.

The pain I thought was a torn muscle from coughing and which I let go for 6 days before seeing a doctor was much more serious.

Apparently the falling out of the chair bit could have been passing out.

Temperatures above 38 degrees are fun, what with the hallucinations and vivid dreams not to mention being woken up by my name being called by nobody there.

Did I mention the pain? Almost gone now but I can't sit up for long. More worrying, I don't want to eat.

Jeebus but I've been crook. Still organising Mother from flat on my back.


River said...

What, did you break a rib or something? Bloody hell!

Lord Sedgwick said...

The answer to all your problems is obvious.

You're a sheila, you should be shooting mooses! (Vs the blanks I've bin shootin' since 1978.)

Should that stratergery fail, aim a spud gun of mass destruction in the direction of Fleetwood. It won't necessarily achieve anything constructive, but will make him aware that he is being tuberously watched.

(BTW I reckon you are getting it easy if your Marm doesn't give you daily telephonic reports of her bowel movements ... are to be more precise, the lack thereof. Never want to hear the word "Laxette' ever again.)

Lord Sedgwick said...

"or" (vs"are") to be more precise would be more in the realm of what I intended to convey. (You really should stop sending me via Express Post, those jeroboams of Bombay Sapphic.)

Sorry, it's been a long day and you can imagine how distraught I've been after Morry the Yemma resigned. (Couldn't ov happened to a nicer irrelevant Peter principled nonentity.)


That's So Pants said...

Hi Coppie

OMG, you are in the wars as my grandmother would have said. I wish you relief all round.



Lord Sedgwick said...

"you are in the wars as my grandmother would have said"

If Coppie had been in those wars your grand ole gran was referring to ('scuse me split infinitive or dangling proposition, flying spondee, transferred epithet - which ever came first) both WW1 and WW11 would have been done and dusted well before the 4 or 6 years the card table bound generals made them last ... and she would have taken no prisoners ... well, other than for her personal pleasure.

Andrew said...

I suppose I better be nice and show I am.

Caroline said...

No don't eat. That's good. Starve a fever. Big temperature you got there. You haven't wished it on yeself, have you you're not trying to pass a kidney stone or summit?

I get that, just about to fall off to sleep and a door bangs (in my head) and occasionally somebody calls out my name. Effin' rude if you ask me. Wakes me up every time.

Jayne said...

You poor bugger.
What Chinaman did you murder in your past life to deserve this?
Be kind to yourself and slurp bucketloads of black tea.

Brian Hughes said...

"It won't necessarily achieve anything constructive, but will make him aware that he is being tuberously watched."


I'm already well aware that the Potato people have been studying me from beneath the sideboard for a great many years now.

JahTeh said...

River, didn't break anything, just a kidney and bladder infection that I ignored for 6 days thinking the pain was just muscle.

MiLord, that woman is unbelievable but then she is american. The non-capital 'a' is deliberate.
I get daily updates on the supply of 'Depends' and how my sister is denying her poor old mother sole charge of them. The old girl is now hiding toilet rolls in case she runs out which she will if she keeps hiding the bloody things.

Pants, I almost rang you to get Bwca's phone number but she rang me last night after trying all week with the wrong number.

Thank you Hot Andrew, you wouldn't like to buy another mother?

I can beat that Caroline. I tried 3 times to answer my mobile phone the other night until I realised it was the temple bell hanging outside my bedroom window.

Earl Grey tea and wholemeal toast even if it takes an hour to get it down. Jayne, today it was a feast of vegetables.

Dear Fleetwood and there's so much of you to study. I can point fingers cause I've lost weight.

River said...

How could you possibly ignore a bladder infection?? Didn't it burn every time you peed? Couldn't mistake that for muscle pain, although I would agree that kidney pain could be mistaken for back muscle spasms.You need to pay more attention to your body.

JahTeh said...

Noted, River. Cystitis hurts when you pee but this infection coming from further up didn't. I just had pain which sort of went away if I lay flat in bed hence the ignore.
There must be a thesis in 'women ignoring pain'.

Brian Hughes said...

"There must be a thesis in 'women ignoring pain'."

We don't need one. Men have to listen to it being chanted at us every day.

Kelly & Sam Pilgrim-Byrne said...

Oh, bugger JT. Hope you get better REALLY soon. Like, now.

JahTeh said...

Ah! Fleetwood I mean real pain not the minor annoyances that men are and you're no slouch in the 'ignoring pain' area either.

Thanks girls, I've been over and had my Charlotte fix which always makes me feel better.

phil said...

ah yeah, jeez, you do cop it don't you?

get better quick.

look what happens to grammar when you're ill.

Mindy said...

Hope you are feeling better today.

JahTeh said...

Very pissed off Phil, because I've been pretty good until now. I blame it all on having a birthday with a 6 and an 0 in it. I certainly won't do that again.

Mindy I was feeling better this morning until I walked over to 'insanity central' and had to deal with Mother.

Lord Sedgwick said...

"I blame it all on having a birthday with a 6 and an 0 in it."

Well, are you in for a rude awakening, duckie?!

Take it from one who has done not only a birthday with a 6 and an 0 in it, but one with a 6 and an 1 in it, followed FAR too soon by one with a 6 and a 2 in it, and who is looking down the barrel of one with a 6 and a 3 in it.

I blame the adoption of the Julian calendar, the King James bible and the Connex non-timetable.

(Mind you any upcoming event with a 6 and a 9 in it has moi hot to trot. Well, tepid to amble at best.)

JahTeh said...

You poor Lordship and it only seems like yesterday, you applied for your Senior's Card.

Middle Child said...

Sure hope you are better a bit. Wouldn't it be nice to have someone look after you? Its a real bugger when you are really crook and nobody there.