Smoke is bad, fire is bad, LNP indiscribable.

I'm starting early this year for my usual birthday wish list. I've cut it down to about 20 good things starting with this.  Even though it's my birthstone, I'm not over gushy about rubies but I could manage to thank you all for this necklace.  For one, I like the cut of the rubies and they don't overwhelm the diamonds, two I like tassels, they sit nicely between the boobs and hide wrinkles.  And I adore deep red velvet dresses so start saving.

I am away from fires to retain sanity but the smoke lingers. I have lung rot again, nothing but coughing every time I put my head outside the door.  So I have the upmost sympathy for River and Elephant's Child when ever I see what is happening in Canberra and Adelaide. I watched the news last night and cried when the lovely beekeeper man cried for his bees most of the hives having been destroyed.  Kangaroo Island has the only pure strain of Ligurian Bees so he cannot import any bees from anywhere in the world. But as Nature works, the little bodies provided food for starving native birds, enough blossoms were found for the remaining bees but the fires are still raging.  Canberra is unbelievable, almost invisible in the smoke and all the hot air in Parliament will not blow it away. 

I hope you both are staying inside with the cats.  Mine has not left the couch since it arrived except for a quick run outside and last night he was rained on. He sat on my knee waiting to dry off then went back to the couch. 
I would post more photos of him but microsoftgoogleapple have all told me I need an app to download photos from my camera or phone. I've tried all but they've said I must upgrade computer and I'm not in the mood to fiddle with with 10 or whatever it is now.
I lost too much time with mother to keep up with technology, maybe next life.

I will crawl back

As most of you know I live in a house that could do for a couple of Phd's in biology just on the kitchen floor, cat fur rolls into hummocks, the mouse is still living in the oven and brooms linger in the corners and gossip like workers round the water cooler.  So off I go out into the bracing fresh air and come home with an air born Roto virus, the spelling is immaterial.  I am still ill a week later although I did eat a meal last night.  I haven't had a vomit spell like this since I don't know when and was lucky I grabbed a towell on the way to the bathroom. I won't go into the gory details but there is a reason Billious Yellow will never be named colour of the year.

My phone has gone crazy in the storm and I can't be bothered fighting with Telstra yet.
I tried to clean the toilet and if I ever find the evil bastard that invented child proof locks on toilet cleaner bottles I will jam his head so far down the S bend he'll never be found. I used a screwdriver combined with pliers.
Mother is sicker than I am, as usual.
I will never be without Gastrolyte in this house again and I'm never giving it to anybody even if I know they are feeling as badly as I did last week and this week, probably next as well.
It will be another week before I try eating food that isn't white, no colour, even the toast isn't browned.
And stuff youse all around me who now have speedy broadband, 8 of you thieving signal mongrels who all log on together and I'm left without a computer as well as no phone.
The world is whizzing around now so I'm back to bed so I can face the news full of politicians full of themselves.

I will return.

GO CLEM!

Lookee here, only Tuesday and I'm ready to curl up in a corner and cry until I read this.

I'm sitting in my usual spot, taking tea and a muffin (small) after a particular harrowing morning when my health educators decided to beat me over the head with threats of laproscopic surgery as a cure for all ills.

A largish girl sits beside me with a bottle of water and a sandwich and mentions how brave I am to eat "fat food" in front of the wandering Southland population.

I nearly swallowed the muffin whole, it was that small.

She never eats like that because she always scared that someone with a mobile phone will photograph her and she'll end up on a Farcebook wall, shamed without being named.

I very nearly got up and bought another muffin in retaliation for the nation of morons that think it's okay to do that to someone half my size and we all know how much I can fill out a bench seat.

When I think back 20 or so years before we all found out how evil Macca's was to eat, I'm appalled at how much of that I would eat in one meal and it was only once a week. If I added up the kilojules in today's money I'd probably have a heart attack on the spot. It was a Saturday ritual.  After shopping out Southland, we'd grab a load of take-away and head for the beach and eat.  We didn't think anything of it, never questioned how much salt, sugar or what the burgers were made of, it was cheap, quick and great to eat watching the waves.  I wouldn't do it now even if they say how much everything has changed regarding the ingredients. 

But if I want to sit and eat a muffin, with black tea or an ice coffee and if I'm really hungry, add a sandwich then I'm going to.  I just wished that girl hadn't been so frightened of social media that she couldn't enjoy a small treat.  I was too polite to ask what she did in the privacy of her own home, stick with the water or hit the fridge in a Friday night ice-cream binge.  

I am so sick of people's opinion of the "obesity crisis", "diabetes scourge" and how we're all going to die because the fat people are breathing too much air.  

As for the surgery, let me know when they invent a lap band for that part of the brain with the big red button that screams "eat" whenever I'm stressed, depressed and fed up with people.  

Just what we've been praying for....

Yes dear blog ladies, a female viagra.

We get to self administer a dose of testosterone gel in our nasal passage a couple of hours before we think we might have a sexual encounter.

The testosterone will be rapidly absorbed through the nasal lining, resulting in a sudden rise in levels throughout the day.

This is good news for women with sexual difficulties and will be available by prescription in a few years.

It's also going to make the pharmaceutical group a truck load of money.

It's supposed to be a boon for partners with mismatched libidos.

It's not supposed to have side effects if you rev up but don't engage the engine.

It's supposed to be for women who are concerned about their husbands' feelings because wifey doesn't swing from the rafters whenever they get it on.  Goddess bless those fragile egos.

Please don't let my beloved synchrotron to have been used in making this.

But please use the synchrotron to come up with a dose of something that will make 95% of Australian men attractive enough so that I would want to take a sniff of female viagra.

Look into my eye!

I used to make up my eyes like this, now there's too many wrinkles to get that youthful dewy look. Not to mention getting up close and personal with a hand mirror which usually means a poke in the eye at some stage.
But strike another off the "to do" list. I had my eyes tested today and I have healthy eyes.
No change in the long sight and only a slight change in short sight as in, hold the book 20 centimetres further away.
They do a retinal scan now which they keep as a record to check with the one I'll have every year. Very strange looking at a photo of the inside of my eyeball. Lovely clear veins, nothing bad near the macular and no floating bits anywhere.
No glaucoma either.
Very fuzzy sight for about 3 hours afterwards which made eating lunch hilarious and curiously made getting up the bus steps easier, for once I didn't trip.
So much for Diabetes Educator predicting gangrene for the feet and approaching blindness.

I will only post link

"It is a big change for the 5ft 2in mother, who requires a mobility scooter to go shopping and wears XXXXXXXL.

Last Christmas she feasted on two 25lb turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 15lbs of potatoes (10lbs roast, 5lbs mashed), five loaves of bread, five pounds of herb stuffing, four pints of gravy, four pints of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 20lbs of vegetables."

If you can stand it read the rest but not if you've just eaten.

I don't want to look at this post

Obese model Susanne Eman is saying 'Supersize Me' for real - in her bid to become the fattest woman ever.

The 52-stone bombshell aims to reach a whopping 115 stone, or 1,600lbs, by guzzling at least 20,000 calories a day.

I'd love to find out if it's humanly possible to reach a ton,’ she said. ‘A previous record holder was 1,600lbs (115 stone) , so I have to be at least that.

‘My next goal is to be 57 stone (800lbs) by the end of the year.

‘At my current rate of growth, I should be 115 stone by age 41 or 42.’

Susanne visits the supermarket once a month with sons Gabriel, 16, and Brendin, 12, and spends up to eight hours filling six trollies.

‘It's like a full day's work,’ said Susanne, who uses a motorised scooter, but astonishingly believes she can stay healthy.

And this is what she eats daily:

Breakfast: 6 x eggs scrambled, cooked in butter 468 cals. 1/2 pound bacon 1,168 cals, 4 x potatoes as hash browns 672 cals, 6 x pieces toast with butter 600 cals, 32 ounce cream shake 1,160 cals. Snacking 1 x bag of animal cookies 1,950 cals, 2litre bottle of soft drink 800 cals, 1 x 10.5 ounce bag of barbecue flavour crisps 1,650 cals, 3 x ham and cheese sandwiches 1,576 cals.

Lunch: 3 x beef, bean and green chilli burritos with 1 x cup of sour cream 1,453 cals. Salad (1 head lettuce, 1 cup cherry tomatoes, 1 cup carrots, 1 cucumber, 1/2 cup ranch dressing, bacon bits, 1 cup crumbled cheese, 1 cup chicken 1,479 cals.

Dinner: 12 x filled tacos + 1 x cup sour cream 4,906 cals, 2litre bottle of soda 800 cals, Dessert 8 x scoops vanilla ice cream 2,080 cals, 1 x small pan of brownies 1,200 cals.

Total: 21,962 calories

You can't believe how much this infuriates me. People reading this are going to go on a fat bashing crusade against people like me who do struggle with weight and with all my laughs about just one more cake, I do watch what I put in my gob and there's no way I could eat all that food in one day. She also said in the article that she exercises, that is, she goes for a waddle every day. Oh cheers for the fat lady, she can't even walk around the supermarket to buy the food for the obscene diet.

She actually believes that being this fat has made her feel sexier.

I'd say being this fat has addled her brain but I don't think she has one. And I'm allowed to post this because I'm fat so it's not fat bashing, it's ranting against an irresponsible mother who has made arrangements for her kids to be looked after in case something happens to her. I'm so mad all I can say is, selfish bitch. She has two lovely boys and can only think of herself.

How to negotiate the information minefield.

You don't!
I've been overwhelmed by so much information, a lot of it contradictory, and it's done nothing but dump me in a black hole of depression.
Two loads of bumpf arrived this week and two pages gave me answers to questions I've been trying to get answered.

Carbohydrates for one. Healthy eating is a plan that is low in saturated fat, sodium and added sugar and high in fibre.
The amount of carbohydrate required is based on gender, weight and level of physical activity.
But what foods have carbs?
Bread, breakfast cereals, rice, pasta, noodles.
Fresh fruit, tinned fruit in natural juice and dried fruit.
Starchy vegetables such as potato, sweet potato and corn.
Legumes including baked beans, lentils, chickpeas and red kidney beans.
Milk, yoghurt, custard, icecream and soy alternatives.

You have to eat a regular amount of carbohydrate at meals and regular snacks to level out the glucose during the day. So it's a matter of working out how much is going in the mouth.
There are approximately 15 grams of carbs in:
*1 glass (250ml) of milk (reduced fat)
*1 slice of bread
*100g or half tub of reduced fat yoghurt
*1 medium piece of fruit
*1/3 cup of cooked pasta or cooked rice
*4-6 dry crackers

The idea is to have around two to four exchanges of carbs (30 to 60 grams) at each main meal and one (15 grams) for each snack. The amount rather than the type of carbohydrate is a more important influence on blood glucose levels so low Glycaemic Index carbs are preferred. Bring on the wholegrain bread, sweet potato not potato, wholemeal pasta and basmati rice instead of jasmine rice.
Two hours after the first mouthful of a meal you have to check the blood glucose and if it's high then you have to adjust everything. And I tell you my levels are all over the shop. And anxiety, depression and emotional upsets do mess with the glucose levels. One look at my blood levels for the day and all of them go into overdrive.

At least the the special "diabetic food" products have been ditched in favour of a well balanced diet of actual food, as long as it's low in saturated fat, sodium, added sugar but high in fibre (seen that plan before). So treats can be had occasionally in small quantities.
*Jam. Toss out the diabetic jam and have 100% fruit spread as long as it's just spread thinly and eaten on wholemeal toast.
*Chocolate. All chocolate is high in saturated fat but sugar free chocolate is higher in fat than regular milk chocolate.
*Cakes. Bad news is there is no 'diabetic' cake but a piece of fruit cake with no icing (but it's the best part) is okay as long as it's a small slice.
*Other sugar free items, ice-cream, biscuits, snack bars and fruit juice are never completely sugar free. They still have more added fat to make them tasty which is bad for cholesterol which snowballs until it impacts on blood glucose levels. Besides which, have you seen the price of low sugar, low carb, high protein diet snack bars? One of which I'm supposed to carry with me, along with a bottle of water and a packet of jelly beans. The jelly beans would have a very short carry life but the snack bar is so blergh that it stays there until really needed.

Sorry to bore you with all this but even writing it down still doesn't un-confuse me (no surprise) or do anything about the anxiety of getting it all wrong. I do know now what the HbA1c test is and why Doc Marvin was so pleased the overall glucose level had come down from 8 to 7.5 in 4 weeks. And the Diabetes assoc. runs tours of supermarkets to explain the language on the back of food packaging but I suspect it's only at IGA Ritchies stores since they donate money to the cause. All I can say is, bring on the Red/Green/Yellow buttons on all food and make it easier for everybody.

Dr. Marvin

After one diabetes educator who told me nothing much, I had one yesterday who overloaded the sensory capabilities of my underused brain. She didn't have enough time to tell me everything but the one important thing she should have done was show me how to use the finger pricking device and the blood monitor. By the time I read two huge pages of information and got it all ready, (I used 6 lancets just to get one drop of blood, setting too low) my blood pressure was through the ceiling, anxiety was just below hysteria level and my BGL was 10.0 and it was midnight.

Thank the Goddess for Dr. Marvin, my new dispenser of pills and wisdom. Blood pressure taken by D.E was 169/129 but by the time he had calmed me down, it was 149 which still had me freaking and shaking. But he said, it's only numbers, 4 weeks ago it was 188 so you've dropped 40 points. He pointed out that we're both in it for the long run and he isn't expecting improvement for anything up to a year. I have a lot to get right, one thing at a time and my low Vitamin D levels are more important than anything else. After all I've been carrying around this blubber for 40 years and it hasn't killed me yet.
Me, sitting there has stopped shaking and hyperventilating.
How can you not have confidence in a doctor who wears a navy blue tie covered in lime green Marvin the Martians?
And if he turns up in a Duck Dodgers of the 24th and a half century tie, he's mine forever.

Two plane seats for the lady

Meet exotic dancer Chelsea Charms and her inflatable assets.

She's had her breasts enlarged by a, now illegal, procedure in which polyproylene string was implanted into each breast.

The material irritates the breast lining, creating a serum which enlarges the breasts, a process which could continue indefinitely but which she insists stops eventually.They are still growing at the rate of an inch a month.

Gee, guess what, they actually make living a bit difficult. She has trouble eating, has to sleep on her back, and has trouble fitting into aeroplane toilets. Not to mention the regular exercises to be able to support the watermelon sized boobs.

I am still trying to picture her doing an exotic dance without killing the front row of droolers but stripping wouldn't be so hard, just breathe in. Pole dancing? No that could be hazardous to everyone's health.

There are questions though. I am a fattyboombah so I can't throw oranges at watermelon boobs if that's her life ambition but to put something into the body that is not, inert like silicon (it moves) or saline, but is still causing growth doesn't seem like a good idea. The lefty is very near the heart and both are sitting over the lungs.

What if the implanted string decides to migrate?

I was waiting for her to say her decision empowers her.

Would feminists say it empowers her?

I would say it empowered the bank account of the doctor who put it in there in the first place.

At my age, I'm just happy mine are heading towards my feet and doing their job of keeping my chest warm.

I'm not in a good mood

Just when everything seems to be going well, it all hits the fan again.

Two oldies dropped off the twig over the weekend, one being Gordy so Bingo is not going to be quite the same. Little Edna went too but the family gave mum her tray on wheels so now instead of the girls carrying all her craft stuff from room to room, they can wheel it. It doesn't seem to worry mum, she's too busy thinking of the outing to the Cranbourne gardens on the 22nd.

And the BrickOutHouse is in trouble with his health. The chiropractor put back the two vertebrae that were out but there is a problem with his hip, leg bones and toes joints all down the left leg. So blood tests yesterday and a catscan on Thursday. He is hunched over like an old man and in real pain but the cortisone might help that and finding out exactly what is wrong will help a lot more.

I'm not his mother but I did bring him up until he went to high school so I still worry. He shouldered his share of the nightmare four years with mum and he hasn't really had enough downtime to put it in perspective. If he's got an early appointment, he camps out on the sofa bed with the cat and sleeps like a log. I had more medical drama with him over the years than I did with my own kid and I never stop worrying about him because like all men, he's as stubborn as a mule about seeing a doctor until he's got one foot in the grave.

I was meant to be thin, beautiful, rich with no kids but instead I was born worrying about what was ahead of me. Perhaps it was better in the old days when the family ran into the double figures and no-one could keep track of who was ill or injured until they were on the way back to health.

THE TROJAN HORSE IDEA

The large orange bit is an amoeba and it's using a false foot called a pseudopod to reel in a bacterium, green bit. The bacterium is Legionella pneumophila and is the cause of Legionnaires' Disease but instead of being digested by the amoeba, it stays safely inside this 'trojan horse'.

Scientists began using the term about 15 years ago to describe Legionella pneumophila, the bacteria eventually traced as the cause of the mysterious disease that broke out among people attending an American Legion convention in Philadelphia in 1976. It sickened 221 people and killed 34.

Epidemiologists traced the cause back to water in air-conditioning tanks on the roof of the building where the Legionnaires were meeting, but they still had trouble finding Legionella within that water. It turns out that high concentrations of Legionella were living within the protists that lived in the tanks.

Legionella were reproducing within these protists and coming out in small aggregates that became airborne in water droplets. Susceptible people breathed in high concentrations of Legionella that had just come out of their hosts and were looking for new hosts.

The image is from the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention and Dr. Barry S. Fields.

IT'S A COMMON THING

That when the stress slows down (it hasn't, believe me, it hasn't) carers can often become ill.

I sat down yesterday and wrote a note to myself.

First, see the dentist and have teeth cleaned and checked.

Second, see the doctor about those odd bouts of elevated blood pressure, the palpitations, the shakes, hyperventilating etc.

Thirdly, see the physio to finish fixing all the bone and muscle stuff from three years ago.

Then half my back molar fell off and rolled around my gob so I tore up the list in case I mozzed myself in other ways.

Good news is, the dentist is going to pour concrete over what's left in the manner of Chernobyl which should give me another few years of use.

Bad news is, it will cost $200 and my current financial status - $5.31 in the bank, $2.58 on Visa.

I think I'll try a post-dated cheque and begging for mercy.

FAT TAX

Skinny people in power are still going on about putting a tax on fast food.

It's for our own fat-arsed good.

Except for one thing, it's a cheap meal on a day out for a pensioner.

I counted 10 pensioners enjoying that cheap meal when I walked past MacDonald's today.

Shove it up your collective hooters, Canberra.

I MIGHT BE A BIT CROOK AFTER ALL

I'll know in four days or so. They took enough blood to transfuse an elephant and whoopee, I got to hold the vials full of blood. I forgot to take off the bandaid in time so that's up in a welt, stupid allergies.

The pains in my shoulders, elbows, fingers, wrists, ankles and toes aren't from doing too much, cutting down trees, tension, making jewellery, vacuuming, carrying heavy groceries, moving scoria rocks, bucketing water to the lemon tree etc. I have massive inflammation in all the joints, in fact none of my rings will fit on my left hand at all so that's a worry.

It's either arthritis flaring up from the doing of too much, rhuematoid (?) which the Chinese blame on suppressed anger (moi! Angry!) and is an immune system thing or viral arthritis which I haven't googled yet. I could be manifesting malingering as a new hobby.

Mummy dearest was very sympathetic. She says I should stop doing things like all of the above except when it applies to her. She dreads anything happening to me and then she'd be left all alone. Thanks Ma, I'm glad it's all about you. Thanks to Caroline for the grave curse.

Fingers aren't hurting because I have $20 keyboard back, all bright and shiny and clean. I'm dazzled by the keys in all that whiteness.

Forget the hurty-achy bit above and answer something serious. Does anyone know why a DVD, my 'Serenity', won't play on the new player but will on the computer and did on the old player?
This is extremely important since I might have to malinger with my feet up in front of the teev.

PEER STUPIDITY

I read the article in the Sunday Herald Sun and it really got up my nose.

12 girls from a college have gone to Phillip Island for a week to celebrate their end of school and the end of their livers by the sound of it. They've vowed to spend more than $1000 on alcohol in their week long binge and they're proud to be setting a drinking record.

One of them said she had to drive at 80km/h in third gear because of all the alcohol on board the car. She also said older people should not be surprised at the girls' level of drinking because they probably did the same when they were 18.

Another of the bunch claimed her biggest night was two bottles of rum, a bottle wine and half a slab of pre-mixed rum and cola cans. Even my ex at his best couldn't have loaded that up although he certainly tried every December.

There was a nice photograph of the girls behind a load of full and empty bottles. I hope their parents went down and kicked their backsides but I suppose that's where the money came from in the first place.

That came on top of information of a new, to me, misuse of over the counter painkillers. A look in my bedside drawer showed, Panadeine Extra, Panadeine Forte, Panadeine, Diclofenac and Oxycontin, a slow release morphine medication. I'd say the Oxycontin was way out of date now and should be ditched since it was for a pinched Sciatic nerve which I would put at 11 out of 10 on the pain scale. Diclofenac I take every night or I feel as though my hands have been in a vice in the morning. The others I take according to severity of various pains and aches that come and go. I found out that teenagers and up are taking Nurofen plus and Panadeine Forte, not in the two I take but up to and beyond 8 a day, packets of them.

This is not from any official report but from two people I know. They take them to feel numb. They take them to sleep life away, to not deal with it. They're not drug addicts because they can walk in and buy them from a pharmacy. Their livers are damaged and magnesium levels are so low they can't make it back up without supplements. They're nice young people but they can't cope with life, they haven't coped with life since their early teens and they're not the only ones using these medications for the wrong reason. Word spreads fast along the teenage grapevine.

Alcohol and pills at 18. Sorry little Miss Piss-up of Phillip Island 2008 but I am surprised.

THE AFTER VIRUS VIRUS

I'm still tired. I have two days running around then the next day in bed. Please, I'm not complaining, bed is very nice when the sun is streaming in the window and I have books to read. It's just that even I'm beginning to notice washing piling up, dishes from other houses booking holidays in my kitchen for the peace and quiet and the chocolate stash has disappeared.

I'm also turning into one of those old ladies who shout at the ads on TV. It's the Ad Agency's job to make annoying ads so that we'll remember what they are but it doesn't mean I'm going to buy the products just because I remember them. It's about the only thing I remember these days.

Napisan is off the list until someone gives that repulsive kid the boot. Kids shouldn't be allowed in the laundry unless they're locked in and washing their own clothes. I'd have hit him with the Napisan after the first annoying question not that I would have done that to my own, I always threw whatever was to hand to give them a chance to dodge. Of course if they were looking the other way then all's fair in the mother/child war.

White King can go jump too. I use White King. I do not leap around the bathroom using the bottle as a substitute AK47 assault rifle. I do not laugh like a hyena on heat when killing algae in the cistern and what's more her bloody bathroom looks immaculate anyway.

Next on the list. Lynx! I have yet to find any cologne or aftershave that would turn a bloke into anything as luscious as chocolate. He doesn't even turn into goodlooking chocolate. I shouldn't complain about that ad really because it's obviously aimed at men who will buy crap-in-a-can if they think it will get them laid. Take a tip from me, leave the Lynx and buy the biggest box of chocolates you can find. You'll have more chance with that especially if you're coming to my house.

SEPTEMBER'S MORE OF THE SAME

The virus that was having such fun chewing up my lung got lonely so it invited a friend in to chew up my kidneys.

The pain I thought was a torn muscle from coughing and which I let go for 6 days before seeing a doctor was much more serious.

Apparently the falling out of the chair bit could have been passing out.

Temperatures above 38 degrees are fun, what with the hallucinations and vivid dreams not to mention being woken up by my name being called by nobody there.

Did I mention the pain? Almost gone now but I can't sit up for long. More worrying, I don't want to eat.

Jeebus but I've been crook. Still organising Mother from flat on my back.

GOODBYE AUGUST

Spring tomorrow. Goodbye to 31 days of absolute shite involving physical and mental disintegration.

I had to severely slap myself around last night and acknowledge that sometimes, medication is neccessary, very much needed and should be taken without guilt. So I've upped the mind and body equalizers until I get to level ground above this pit of blackness.

I cannot help anybody else. I can't equate their problems with mine and think mine are not as bad and I should be grateful. I'm in trouble, me *slap* so start with the basics, medication and stop feeling guilty that I have to give in and take it.

Constant physical and mental pain shortcircuits everything in most people. Sometimes it doesn't but with me, I tend to be waving okay with one hand and digging myself into the black pit with the other. I find it impossible to talk about it to anyone and yet I will help others without a second thought.

Blame my mother, I do. I've shut down emotions so tightly so that I can deal with her and I don't think I'll ever open up again. Besides it's no good raging at her, she forgets about it after an hour or so but I'm left with the self-recriminations of losing control. My sister deals with it better, she walks out and never thinks about it again. I'm made of weaker stuff.

Thank you Great Maker for Codeine, anxiety pills and muscle relaxants. I'm taking all of them until my glass becomes half full again.



Just to make sure I had a good dose of the irrits. A mother and daughter have shed 140kgs in 16 months. The daughter weighed 166kg. and now weighs 76kgs. She took Celebrity Slim diet shakes for breakfast and dinner, with a cooked lunch including lean meat, fish and vegetables and had a 30 minute walk each day. They said it was easier to lose weight together.

Here's the good bit, Melody's previous diet included up to two blocks of chocolate and a packet of Tim Tams each day. My initial reaction was anyone could lose if they dropped that kind of diet, second reaction was several four letter words because it wasn't me, third reaction was sliding down into the pit again but good luck to both of them if they hold on to those bodies they've gained.

I hate Tim Tams, I don't like chocolate biscuits at all, see there's a silver lining everywhere.

STILL VIRUSING

I'm still not sleeping well so I've been staying in the warm in front of the TV to the wee small hours.
I don't know what I'd do without a remote control, going from Channel 7 to Star Wars to SBS.

There was a bit of a snarky item in the Age this morning about two Olympic sports:
"Rhythmic gymnastics. The dry-land equivalent of synchronised swimming and just as silly......."
"Men's handball. A sport created by people who couldn't make the basketball or soccer team and played by countries who aren't very good at anything else......"

I don't see the difference between handball and beach volleyball except maybe more clothes but it still takes skill and this is coming from someone who's lucky to catch a cold. (I was ambushed by this virus, I didn't catch it)

The Rhythmic gymnastics which I landed on during my late night channel surfing was a joy. Maybe the heats weren't as good, I didn't see them just the finalists with the twirling ribbons. I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time so the idea of twirling a long silk ribbon and twirling a body with graceful moves without falling over doesn't seem to be silly just really difficult plus.

I'll be glad when it's all over. I'm sick of bursting into tears everytime the green and gold gets a medal and I did last night at the diving. I don't think I took a breath during M's dive and I loved the look on his face and his tears when he saw the score.

I'm not a sports fan so I'm blaming all this emotionality on this stupid virus. The bugs are going for a gold medal in endurance body destruction.