Thursday, October 13, 2016

I will crawl back

As most of you know I live in a house that could do for a couple of Phd's in biology just on the kitchen floor, cat fur rolls into hummocks, the mouse is still living in the oven and brooms linger in the corners and gossip like workers round the water cooler.  So off I go out into the bracing fresh air and come home with an air born Roto virus, the spelling is immaterial.  I am still ill a week later although I did eat a meal last night.  I haven't had a vomit spell like this since I don't know when and was lucky I grabbed a towell on the way to the bathroom. I won't go into the gory details but there is a reason Billious Yellow will never be named colour of the year.

My phone has gone crazy in the storm and I can't be bothered fighting with Telstra yet.
I tried to clean the toilet and if I ever find the evil bastard that invented child proof locks on toilet cleaner bottles I will jam his head so far down the S bend he'll never be found. I used a screwdriver combined with pliers.
Mother is sicker than I am, as usual.
I will never be without Gastrolyte in this house again and I'm never giving it to anybody even if I know they are feeling as badly as I did last week and this week, probably next as well.
It will be another week before I try eating food that isn't white, no colour, even the toast isn't browned.
And stuff youse all around me who now have speedy broadband, 8 of you thieving signal mongrels who all log on together and I'm left without a computer as well as no phone.
The world is whizzing around now so I'm back to bed so I can face the news full of politicians full of themselves.

I will return.


Elephant's Child said...

Get better soon.
We miss you. And some day you will catch an even break.

River said...

I've no idea what roto virus is and sure as heck don't want to find out. Hope you get better real soon. Can you find out what time the signal thieves all log on and beat them to it. Here it's around 9am-9.30am when businesses are all firing up their computers and again between 4.30pm and 5.30pm when they all start signing off.
Get lots of sleep if you can, I'll have a nap for you too.

Ann ODyne said...

oh dear Coppy what an absolute bastard. I do however LOVE your hilarity in spite of adversity and wish you absolute speedy recovery. I dunno what rotovirus is either. shall put gastrolyte on shopping list though. I am mental about handwashing and disinfect the steering wheel when I return from shopping in town. I hope you are sitting in todays gentle sun for sustenance.

JahTeh said...

EC, please don't even mention the word 'break' anywhere near me. I knew it wasn't food poisoning because that happens straight away and my sister tells me there's an outbreak of this thing in Melbourne.Probably from all the wind blowing gunge from everywhere.

River, put down 7 a.m. when they're all reading the news with breakfast. I had that on Thursday when I realized there was not enough money in mum's account to pay the Home so had to get on to the bank quick smart. One hour it took to get any signal strength. Stuff Malcolm with his NBN.

Annie O, I wash hands etc but this thing is air borne, you breath it in so country air should be right.
Gastrolyte replaces the lost fluids and is easier to get down than plain water and I'm never without it except when I have given it away like the pain tablets and band aids to family. They're never sick they tell me.
And to top it off, an hour on the phone to Telstra and I couldn't remember how to answer the mobile. Poor man was very patient. I had to text sister because I couldn't find my mobile number on the phone.

Ann ODyne said...

gastrolyte is easier to swallow than water? I was amused to see on the pharmacy counter this week something which may have been called GLOOP for taking medications. I wondered why yogurt couldn't perform same function. What has Mum spent the money on I wonder? Always clear your History after doing online banking. massive love from the hills way out West.

JahTeh said...

Annie O, the gastrolyte stops the stomach rolling, replaces all the electrolytes and really makes it better, it sort of makes the water softer but don't buy the orange one. I had yohurt for later but replacing fluid is so important.
The Home has direct debit payment now so no cheques or rushing round with cash, so much easier. She doesn't spend money, just gives me a shopping list so I can run around.