Starting at 8.45 this morning, Insanity Central ramped it up.
I wanted to have a stroll to the bus stop because public transport was free and a stroll around less crowded shops in Mentone then a leisurely afternoon of Mother getting her presents.
I spent most of the morning on the phone sorting out her life.
She couldn't swallow her pills. The washing machine was broken. Somebody called from the housekeeping but she couldn't remember what they said.
She swallowed the pills when she put water in the glass.
The washing machine was turned off at the wall and so was the dryer which was just as well since she took the soaking washing out of the machine and put it in the dryer. I siphoned the water out of that and gingerly switched it on, good, the electrics didn't blow up.
I got her lunch, gave her the presents and a bunch of pale pink roses with a cream outer petal and received the orders for the afternoon. I'd already done most of them which always pisses her off and while she slept, I got to finish this Christmas present meme from Sunday's Age.
1. If you were feeling greedy......
The biggest most luxurious suite in my choice of hotel for two weeks with a personal chef, never ending Champagne ( a different one each day to go with the gourmet food) and a jacuzi with a view over the city to the bay.
2. If you weren't feeling greedy.....
The biggest donation ever to the Fred Hollows Foundation. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to live in a third world country let alone live there without sight.
3. If you were being practical......
Made to measure granny boots. Is it still practical to have them made by Christian Louboutin?
4. If you had to share your present.......
A Gold Class Cinema for the entire day. Free food, drink and the company of bloggers but my choice of movies, I'm not that generous. I think an Indianna Jones marathon with Daffy Duck cartoon breaks. Nothing cerebral and nothing to make me cry. No mobile phones but yelling, talking and throwing jaffas allowed.
5. If you were 10 years old again......
A sugar plum fairy tutu, pale pink toe shoes and don't forget the tiara.
6. If you had a present for one day only (and then had to return it).......
I'd like to have Catherine Jenkins voice and sing every song I've ever loved. The thing is I couldn't hold a note if you put it in a jar with handles but she can.
Of course I'd have to apologize for the state it was in when I returned it.
My Christmas Day of Peace is assured. Four magazines, two novels, six DVDs, one box of chocolates and the glorious Bombay. No tofus were harmed in the making of my Christmas salad.