If anything else can go wrong or it will.
I look like having to use the dentist money for a new cistern.
The sewing machine fell apart as I put in the last stitch. The repaired one isn't due back until mid-January and then this one will go out in its place.
My broom fell apart.
The washing machine is leaking from the water hose.
The smoke alarm isn't working (you knew that).
My mother keeps asking if Christmas has been yet.
My hair along my forehead has broken off to about 2 inches from the scalp.
And I failed in my mission to bring about Peace and Goodwill to the entire planet in 2008 which means the space ship won't be picking me up on New Year's Eve. On a good note, the earthlings have taught me that when things are tough it helps to Swear. A. Lot.
And whoever is sending me the email which has already taken nearly 15 minutes to download is going to be hunted down and sacrificed to my pre-Christmas mood.
It's still only 44%. It had better be a luscious naked bloke.
I'm on dial-up remember.
Christmas is the pits.