Wednesday, April 29, 2009


I blame Lord Sedgwick for goading me into gloating that my troubles were over with AGL while his weren't. HahahahabloodyfarnarklingHa!!!!!!!

Gas account arrives for mother yesterday........$693.
Ring AGL.
Roar at idiot who won't give me details because they don't have a record of my PofA. I sorted this mistake out in February and had the direct debit re-instated, apparently not. In mid rant the wuss hung up on me.

Ring AGL.
Roar again, then ask for supervisor. While I wait, I breathe deeply and think of kitties. I'm reasonably calm when she also tells me I can't have details. After going through records of last supervisor....Hello David, hope you're enjoying the padded cell.....she tells me that there is a record of the direct debits to be re-instated but it hasn't been done. No merde, Sherlock!

There's still no reason for the DD being cut off without authorisation but a lot of reasons for me not to be able to have information without the PofA which they have also no record of.
It cost me $6 to fax through three pages at the post office this morning.

Ring AGL.
Sorry, we can't give you any information because it could take a week for the PofA to come through on the records.
Die, AGL, die painfully, slowly choking on your own red tape.

Stress load number two.
The carer comes to assess mother for showering. Of course she doesn't want to have one right then. Carer demands to know of me, why mother hasn't been showering. Well she couldn't get her out of bed, then so question answered, because the old bat doesn't want to.
She watches mother walk and imediately says her carers can't do the shower in case she falls.
Well isn't that why I'm having professionals come in to do it?
The shower is inspected.
Just take the doors off. Put up a shower curtain. Buy a bench seat where she can slide across without having to step over the rim. Then with MY HELP, the carer shouldn't have any trouble with her falling. MYFARNARKLINGHELP.
Do you see all the 'I's? I have to put up a curtain, I have to buy the seat, I have to be there.
The only good part is that mother's regular house keeper would be available to do the showering.
Mother is happy, she can control the house keeper.
I'm farnarkling under my breath, a lot.

Third stress load. Mother says did I get her message. God knows who she rang but it wasn't me. A man called and he's coming to inspect the smoke alarms. Merde, what??? I ring the maintainence department at Kingston to make sure it's not someone who's trying to get into the house to sell her something. Yes, he is booked in for an inspection. Who booked him in? The temporary housekeeper of last week who did farnarkling all but dust cobwebs and take orders from mother who sent her up to buy a new mop which she didn't use because no one could find the bucket and no one thought to buy another. Where was I? Maintainence man was cancelled because stupid woman, after finding the old smoke alarm on the kitchen table didn't think to look for the brand new one on the wall. And no, why would anyone actually throw out a broken smoke alarm before 12 months were up.

The mystery of the wool doona was solved. She doesn't remember ever having one. She doesn't remember the thermal blanket I crawled into the wardrobe to grab from the far reaches of that black hole. When I asked why there were three bottles of Palmolive washing up detergent in the bathroom vanity, she says the BrickOutHouse washes his hair in it. Why are there 3 cans of airwick anti-bacterial? She's never seen them. What is in the box marked medications? She's never seen that before. In other words BAD MAN DID IT AND RAN AWAY. This was after I washed the towells and her clothes which she'd put in a plastic garbage bag instead of the washing basket because she couldn't find one. There are six washing baskets in the house. I found them all, fought the bad man for them and brought them back. I replaced the light bulb in the lounge. She says I'm good at that, do I carry around spares all the time?

And I got rained on.


R.H. said...

When you come here I'm playing Classical Gas, whilst you and mother dance outside. Should be a good audience: neighbours have been notified.


R.H. said...

I'm recording an album -live -right here, in my living room:'RH In D Minor'. Lots of background noise, totally authentic: yelling neighbours and police sirens.

Truth in Music, inc.

R.H. said...

When you come here I'm playing Love Story, while you sit back with three Boston Buns, fourteen Vanilla Slices, and twenty-eight Eclairs.


(Don't tell mother)

JahTeh said...

Robbert, you beast. I'm going shopping tomorrow and have to pass the shop with the best chocolate eclairs ever and now I know I'm going to have to stop and buy.

I love Classical Gas. Do you play the adagio from Grieg's piano concerto no 1? It is 'eating eclair' music at it's best.

R.H. said...

I think you mean 'eclair-eating'. But I can understand, it's got you excited.

And no, I prefer a sonata, with a burst of Jerry Lee throughout.

JahTeh said...

No, my mistake was leaving the 's' off the end of eclairs. Well, you did promise me 28.

River said...

I wish you lived closer to me, (because I'm sure as heck not moving to Melbourne), I couldn't help much with your mum, but I could bring you cups of tea, vanilla slices and put cushions behind your back and under your feet to help you relax after visiting your mum.

Andrew said...

I was grimacing until I read the last sentence. That made me laugh. Impeccable timing with the appropriate pause.

Lord Sedgwick said...

I am still waiting for a response to my email. The auto-respond email on Friday April 24 advised me that "One of our customer service (HA!) representatives will respond within a few (another of AGL's famous and frequent estimates) business days".

As of close of business today, 3 and a half business days and counting.

What Coppertop has so eloquently, delicately and diplomatically put it, "Die, AGL, die painfully, slowly choking on your own red tape."

JahTeh said...

River, I'm doing her shopping tomorrow, you couldn't pop over with some tea and sympathy could you? I told her this morning, my sister was studying, don't annoy her and so help me she was on the phone the minute I hung up. It was something I could have done yesterday or tomorrow but she just had to have it today.

Not to mention my knees freezing, Andrew and watching for gumnuts and other assorted falling over type stuff from the weekend. I hope you're taking notes.

MiLord, you emailed???? That just goes to nowhere, I have a receipt that I will shove up up way up someone's orifice if they give me the 'lost' line again.

Brian Hughes said...

"...they don't have a record of my PofA."

Tell 'em to turn the family filter at Google off and check again.

Ann oDyne said...


Jayne said...

I had my name put on Dad's accounts and the idiots STILL try to trot out the "We can't give you that information" BS until I interrupt them (Rudely) that my name IS on the bills.
Then they begrudgingly agree that, why yes! there IS another name on the bill, strangely exactly like the name that I gave them in the first place!
And they wonder why people try to re-route gas pipes up their backsides...!

Lord Sedgwick said...

"MiLord, you emailed???? "Yes, well sort of. I filled in the form on their site (only allows a 1000 characters when I had 20 chapters of invective to send ... however ...) knowing that I would get an automated response vs sending an email that they could claim (a la your PofA) they never received.

My intitial complaint was via phone. What record of that do you reckon I'd have. "I said. He said. I said. He said etc."

I want a response in writing. If there's no response then there's The Energy and Water Ombudsman (Victoria) as the next step.

They advise:- "How to make a complaint

You need to give the company opportunities to sort it out

Before you contact EWOV with your complaint, you must first try to resolve the issue with your electricity, gas (including LPG) or water company. "
I figure a non response constitutes evidence that AGL has chosen not to exercise its "opportunity to sort it out', as well as presenting themselves as negligent, incompetent arsewholes. But we all know that.

I'm nothing if not dogged, and I do play my best matches against disabled opponents.

Lord Sedgwick said...

FYI Coppertop.

Directly from AGL's website, and NO I will not be dropping around to clean the vomit from your keyboard.

AGL Customer Charter And Rights
Rights of consumers
Providing an essential service such as electricity requires recognition of consumer rights. As with all energy retailers, AGL is governed by extensive regulation in this area. However, AGL does go beyond regulatory requirements when it comes to consumer rights. Through both written and outbound telephone surveys AGL receives information from customers about their experience in dealing with AGL. This may be through speaking with our Contact Centre representatives, new connection to natural gas or electricity, contact with the AGL Energy Shops or AGL Assist. The surveys are conducted year round and are reported quarterly. The information gathered is analysed and any confidential information removed. Reports are sent back to the various business units to ensure that we are continually improving our customer service.Complaint Management

AGL has a complaints management process that is administered and managed by the Customer Advocacy department. They can assist you by resolving any concerns or complaints you may have with regard to your experience with AGL. This includes the recording, analysing and reporting (both internal and external) of customer complaints. The complaints process is based on the Australian Standard - Guidelines for complaints handling in organisations: ISO 1000:2004 and complies with the relevant Code requirements of each State.

Middle Child said...

Mein Gott...mein gott...and I thought my life was "interesting" hope it all settles sooner rather than later for you Jahteh

Ampersand Duck said...

I know you can't feel this directly, but I am sending a nice virtual head massage your way with my brainwaves. Hope it helps somehow.

Lord Sedgwick said...

A propos my doggedness.

"Am I to assume that, given I have not had a response within a few business days (this advise was emailed to me Friday April 24 at 3:06 p.m,. and it is now 4:35 May 1 2009 - according to common language, quite beyond "a few business days") AGL has chosen (a) not to respond nor (b) not resolve the issue related to reference number AGL-EF-093579.

I presume my next avenue for the resolution of this matter should be a reference to

Terry Sedgwick."

JahTeh said...

Thank you Duckie but popping up to Canberra and placing my head in your letterpress might be much better.

Therese, at least I'm not dealing with real proper live snakes. That's the one thing I hate about the country, it's full of killing critters.

Jayne, I hope you were polite, after all you're a lady not a ladette but the gas pipe sounds like a good idea.

Fleetwood, I'm not speaking to google. While I was gone the google toolbar nicked my internet explorer address from my IE toolbar and now it's in the wrong place and I can't get it back. All the icons are scrunched up and I keep pressing the wrong buttons and I'm very pissed. It doesn't take much these days.

Annie O, Blogotherapy is almost as good as Pavlovatherapy, almost.

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