Saturday, August 15, 2009

GUILT-O-METER

I lost a packet on the pokies last night.

I ate far too much inappropriate food.

I ate a block of chocolate that needed a block and tackle to move.

I drank 3 glasses of my vintage port, 3, I can't believe 3.

Don't ask about the tranquilizers.

My eyes look like two piss holes in snow.

And nothing is stopping the guilt-o-meter from going critical.

The only way I'll suvive this is for someone to remove the empathy chip from the circuitboard in my brain.

It's no good telling me that others will make the decision, it's not up to me alone but I'm the one with Power of Attorney and I have to sign the papers.

D-Day, Tuesday.

Thank the Goddess I've nothing more to lose at the pokies but I've still got the port and hidden somewhere in this house is another block of chocolate.

12 comments:

River said...

D-Day is D-cision day? Or the signing day? Moving mum into a nursing home day? I'll think of you all day, wondering how you're getting on.

R.H. said...

I had the plumbers here yesterday, working on my roof.
I played throughout, starting with Tamzara (from 'Fatima's Belly Dances') but it didn't go well with all the banging. Finally I switched to Wagner: GOTTERDAMMERUNG! TWILIGHT OF THE GODS!
That did the trick.

I am now playing Che sara sara, for you.
The next is a toss-up: 'Younger Than Springtime' for Miss Pavlov.
Or:
'Let Me Call You Sweetheart.

Maybe I'll do both, just to be sure.

Jayne said...

WV = fructerf.
Which is the universe's way of saying "Sign the papers and hunt out the chocolate".

R.H. said...

Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
You can call me Big-balls
In your next review.

Well not every boiler gets the hard word put on by an old professor, he must have reckoned he had a chance, ha ha ha!

-ROBBBERT!!!!!!!!!!

Maria said...

There there you don't need to list your eyes looking like piss holes. No need to feel guilty about that. You can't help your eyes, that's nature.

Hmmm.

What I do when i eat far too much inappropriate food like chocolate, or cake or chips is
a) justify it by saying something to myself like "well it's been a while" or "it was dark choc, dark choc is better for you" "potato chips are ok because potato is a vegetable"
b) and then balance it out by overdosing on good food, eat a crate of fruit and drink a whole lot of water or something.
c) Then I remind myself about how people waste their lives worrying about silly crap like this when they might be hit by a truck tomorrow and besides a coffin will probably take me a bit bigger so it doesn't matter if I'm a size or two larger
d) Then if I still feel a bit guilty I have a bit more junk food to comfort my sad self.

I recommend getting out the port from its hiding place and the bit of chocolate. You know you want to.

hazelblackberry said...

What guilt?

(a) Sounds like you had a good time.
(b) Your mum will get care and you'll get a big chunk of your life back.

Sign the form, and have some chocolate nearby.

Good luck.

JahTeh said...

River, as far as we know it's Tuesday but nobody's contacted us again.

Rh, what were the plumbers doing on your roof, spouting got holes?
Just put a bucket underneath like I do and throw the water on the garden.

I'd forgotten the chocolate, thank you Jayne. Still buying the Magnum ice-cream this morning got me a free upgrade to Gold Class.

Robbert, it seems I must visit Dr. Cat and see what's been happening.

Maria, all these bad things don't help. It's going to be a war without mercy and if ma had one intelligent brain cell she'd know it was the best thing for her.

HB, She will not in a million years admit that she's better because she's been in hospital for a week. Fortunately she's been snotty to the nurses except for one that she likes and nurses don't forget.

R.H. said...

What?

Dr Cat.

I've worn my heart on my sleeve for that woman!

Kelly & Sam Pilgrim-Byrne said...

We're thinking of you, JT.

JahTeh said...

Not as much as I'm thinking of the both of you and HOPING for the willpower of sproglet No. 2.

Lord Sedgwick said...

"Thank the Goddess I've nothing more to lose at the pokies but I've still got the port and hidden somewhere in this house is another block of chocolate."

So I can expect to pick up some chockies and 6 pack of port in a storm at the Cheltningham Cash Converters sometime soonish.

(Stay away from that Geisha game. It's the revenge of Tokyo Rose.)

Middle Child said...

I don't know whats happened to me Iwas a chocaholic all my life till about 3 years ago...just don't like it much any more...maybe I'm dying or something - that's be it. A little Port won't hurt - how big were the glasses???