It took me a long time to decide what to tag this post but it just had to be laughter.
I hate reality shows. They bore me to tears the exception being 'MasterChef' but then I only watched the last month of that and only for the food.
So why am I watching a reality show about weddings? That would be for the frocks, the bling and the cake and the snarking.
The idea is that four brides go to each other's wedding, give marks for the dress, ceremony and reception, the bride with the highest marks gets the ritzy honeymoon. I expected it to be extremely bitchy and nasty so was ready to switch to another show but it wasn't bad and the brides comments were kept to a minimum.
I felt I could comment on the brides, being fat myself so if the bride was, I could really snark.
I could comment on the ceremony remembering every horrible detail of my own. If my bouquet had concealed a wand, I could have done a 'Bellatrix' on half the guests.
I could comment on the reception since mine resembled a production of 'Dimboola' by the Fuckitupandgetpissed amateur drama club.
The first episode had the lot. The overly large bride who decided on a costume wedding and actually looked quite lovely in an Elizabethan style dress and I wish she had extended that to her everyday dress. Short black frock with electric blue corset on the outside was striking as a slash to the throat with a dagger. And if one does wear knee high stockings, make sure the dress covers them. Actually I liked the hubby who wanted a Babylon 5 themed wedding, go team B.
Next one had the works, fireworks inside, flaming pavlovas/cake and an Elvis impersonater.
The Asian girl had two ceremonies, ethnic and traditional which was held up when her father got lost along the way.
I can't tell you who won the first show, I walked to the kitchen for a drink and it was all over.
The girls comments were great, along the lines of OMG, I would not have/wear/eat that in a fit.
I thought what they wore to each other's wedding ceremonies should have been part of the contest. High heels to a garden wedding after rain, bwahaha.
This week's was just as enjoyable. $400 dress up to 60 grand wedding. I hope a friend of mine wasn't watching, the high end bride was wearing the same dress that will be worn next month. I'm sure she'll look a whole lot better than this bride. $400 bride was married at the beach with reception at the local pub. Tattoo bride should have held back on the champers until after the ceremony so got a little Bridezilla with the tending maids. Brides are starting to blend in my mind about now.
I'm looking forward to next week but what could possibly top a gold stretch hummer for the Bride before she changes to a horse drawn carriage. I used to think stretch limos were the height of gross until my first view of a stretch hummer. Nothing wrong with silk flowers until the bouquet is thrown and it disintegrates. Twining arms to sip champagne is a Hollywood myth of elegance. I may be mistaken, it might have happened when I wasn't looking, but I didn't see that ghastly US custom of the groom removing the bride's garter with his teeth and throwing it to the assembled male guests. And if there was a funniest home video moment, it was left on the editing floor.
Yes, I have to say it again, I'm looking forward to next week's show.