Sunday, November 14, 2010
This is the year, I think.
I haven't put up the Christmas tree for definitely 10 years, yes, not for this millenium.
Not for not wanting to but with Ma and the Christmas lights and that razamatazz which was enough to turn Santa off the silly season.
So this year was my year of the pretty. My year to haul out the 35 year old veteran tinsel twigs which somewhere along the way I had re-tinselled. The bottom stand had broken so I stood the main centre piece in a giant pot and poured in enough cement for the next freeway. I love this little tree, so easy to put away, fold up the twiggy branches and whack a plastic bag over the lot.
But it's so hard to put it up. So hard to get out the ornaments. So hard to push away the memories which are also lying under cold concrete in a cemetary not so very far away. No angel for the treetop, always a little Father Christmas. The Christmas mice and the gold sprayed pine cones, to be made into the tallest pyramid possible in a wicker basket for the floor. Every year we waited for the first cat to launch the top mouse into outer space.
I was intending to dust and vac everything before I put it up but I know if I wait, it's never going to happen. At least it's out of the cupboard and standing where it should be and giving me a heart attack in the dead of night when it looked ghostly in the wrapping.
I do know what ornaments I have. Instead of putting them on the tree, I'd just open the pine chest and look in the boxes. Oh, shiny, pretty, and some never been fixed to a tree, virgin ornaments, how appropriate. My mother-in-law's deluxe Father Christmas, it had to be mine as she didn't want the 'other' to have it. The baby bears haven't been out of the tissue lined drawer for almost as long as the tree has been hidden. Really small bears and all of them with a Christmas jumper I'd knitted, more important than housework.
Now, deep breath or maybe two, and go for it. Put it up and pin a memory to each branch. Enjoy it for the month it used to be the centre of. Maybe I'll knock a bauble or two to the carpet just for old times sake.