Saturday, December 18, 2010

Dear little Robin

Robins and Blue wrens would have to be my favourite birds, don't you agree, Jayne?
Not falling over for at least a week would be my favourite wish for the festive season.
Yep, did it again this morning.
A real flying through the air without a trapeze and a landing that shook me teeth loose.
I was putting Tonic water in the booze cupboard and a pot on the stove started to boil over and I turned, got twisted in one of those evil green bags and off I went.
There seemed to be at least 4 people yelling and sobbing on the kitchen floor until I pulled myself together. I did manage to turn off the stove, two pots, one holding my breakfast eggs, while lying prone. I always did have a reach like a sick dog.
After the screaming stopped I pulled myself up onto the padded sofa that masquerades as my arse and took stock of the damage. I'm surprised to see my slippers facing me. I actually tripped and flew out of my slippers and there they are, looking at me with a smirk on their dials. I've hit the cup and saucer bookcase with one hand and pushed that into the fridge which meant I went off centre and landed on the right knee just before the left knee just before the shallow swallow dive to the tiles.
Still sobbing and looking for sympathy from the cat who is sitting at an empty dish, I get nothing but "feed me" vibes from the bastard. As I'm on the floor I grab a can from the cat food pantry (what makes you think it's a human pantry) and start the slow bum walk to the lounge where I can find a chair to get me off the floor. Lordy but the floor needs a brooming especially under the crystal cabinet. Throw the contents of the can into the cat dish and continue (with empty can) round the carpet and round the carpet to the front of my chair. Oh here comes the pain again but I manage to not kneel on the crumbling kneecaps and collapse in chair and I'm still holding the empty catfood can. Can I multi-task or what?
Ten minutes and I'm back in the kitchen because I have to eat for these diabetic tablets which is why I was rushing around in the first place, get breakfast, get breakfast, get breakfast. So I did and took the pills. Slapped icepacks on knees, got rid of catfood can, abused cat soundly then went to bed in my clothes and slept.
The bruises are looking good. Thank you Mr. Myiga, pain is my friend. I'm on two walking sticks as one leg seems to be inclined to collapse, that'd be the right one, it's not used to being a fall guy.
BrickOutHouse in shock and has forbidden me to leave the house until Christmas lunch with mother. I totally agree except for a short walk to get the papers. I'm sure if I walk slowy and take 30 minutes, that'll my exercise for the day.
If I don't blog for a while, send money, it'll make me feel better.


Marshall Stacks said...

thank god the pot didn't hit the floor, but jeebus Coppy, take care!
I am only taking comfort that it is now '3' so that's the evil triumvirate completed, and thank god for icepacks.

R.H. said...

That bumwalk would be quite a show.

R.H. said...

early hours and I've composed a little melody for you on my broken down pianna. It's very strange.
Big woman I don't know what I can say. And remain indifferent. As you must with me.
You are a little bird in the snow. That's all.
Ice. Colour. Braving it out.


Brian Hughes said...

You're obviously on Santa's naughty list.

JahTeh said...

MS, it was the thought of the pot boiling over and putting out the gas flame that made me try to turn everything off. And 3, it's been a lot more than that lately.

Robbert, I do a great bumwalk, the secret is in the padding.
Not a little bird in the snow, I feel a large vulture watching for the carcase.

Listen Hughes, I blame you. You've probably dug up some Celtic Goddess that I relate too and she's revenging herself.

Andrew said...

When I suggested in a previous to do a dying swan routine to get sympathy, I didn't mean for you to take it too seriously.

JahTeh said...

Andrew, I didn't need to put up the Christmas tree, my legs are showing up blue, black and red.

River said...

Oh dear god, JahTeh, do I have to move in and take care of you?
I only need two rooms, one for bedroom and one for living dining. I'm sure your kitchen is adequate.
Can't you get the papers delivered?

JahTeh said...

River, I can never figure out how I managed to get two boys, 4 cats, 3 dogs and a mangy husband in this house when it seems too small just for me and the books. Of course when I get rich, a live-in cook would be delightful.

Brian Hughes said...

"You've probably dug up some Celtic Goddess..."

Chance would be a fine thing...

JahTeh said...

But, Milord, surely if you stand under a cliff a beautifully sculptured marble figure will fall on you. If it can happen in Israel, it can happen in Fleetwood.
Knowing your luck, probably an old spear right through your foot.

Jayne said...

Crikey, woman, take care of yourself you silly goose!
I know you want to get into the spirit but Baby Santa Grilled Cheezus Day isn't worth the multicoloured bruises.
And Baby Santa, borned into the branches of The Pine Tree, would say the same thing.

JahTeh said...

Jayne, good thing I haven't got a digital camera, I don't think it could handle the rainbow colours.

Brian Hughes said...

"If it can happen in Israel, it can happen in Fleetwood."

The only things that fall off cliffs in Fleetwood are drunken grockles.

Middle Child said...

Anything broken, torn or twisted hurts like hell - hope the pain is less by now - had a few falls myself last year - they can really wreck your days -

Brain Mechanic said...

LOL. great post. happy new year. :)