Sunday, February 13, 2011

It's only February

Already I have my candidate for 'Idiot of the Year' and it's not even a footballer.

Over the weekend 104 motorists were caught by police breaking road rules.

This one is in a special category of stupid.

"A man driving while eating with a knife and fork from a bowl between his legs and steering with this knees was one of 104 motorists found breaking road rules."

I'm still trying to imagine this in action. I take back the stupid, anyone multi-tasking like this should be running for Opposition Planning Minister.

His knife and fork skillz will be useful for tea at the Windsor.

19 comments:

Ann O'Dyne said...

I've never broken any traffic regulations ...
except for that time I screwed up the Bermuda Triangle of the Hume, Calder and Tulla freeways trying to get to Sedgwicks and did a U-turn on the Hume. and the second time.

Actually your candidate is not rare, I do know a person who could hurtle along the Western Highway at night in the pouring rain, eating Maccas and talking on his mobile with the interior light on and the windscreen completely fogged.
I'm still alive. Hope he isn't.

The Elephant's Child said...

And I regret to say that one of my friends regularly drives to work while eating breakfast (a bowl of cereal) and putting on her make-up. And arranging her day's meetings via the mobile. Perhaps I am just jealous. On the very rare occasions I wear make-up I stick the mascara wand in my eye and emulate a panda.

D'Arcy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jayne said...

Sorry, previous post was by me but under Feral child's id.
My idiot ex used to rocket up the Calder from Castlemaine to Bendigo eating a bowl of cereal while overtaking dangerously.

Marshall Stacks said...

Elephants Child's comment has reminded me of the woman who used to get the same train as me every day, and do a complete full-slap make-up job in the packed carriage in front of everybody. She got on before Brighton and i assume concealer and moisturiser was already done.
Foundation by Elsternwick, eyeliner by Windsor, eye shadow at Prahran,
blusher by South Yarra (god knows what would make her blush naturally), tricky (as EC said above) eye-stabbing mascara at Richmond because it's a longer stop. No shame. hilarious.

Ampersand Duck said...

One of my friend's kids got done for doing over 200 km/hr on the highway while leaning down to change a CD. Glad she got caught, might have been a habit...

Marshall Stacks said...

jeepers Duckie - you win. is she out of the slammer yet?

Andrew said...

But what road rule did he break?

Kath Lockett said...

Hah - I read that one in the paper as well and had to do that annoying thing that people reading the other sections of the paper hate. You know the one: "Hey, listen to this. There was this utter idiot who was caught by the police...."

To be fair, both LC and Sapphire agreed with my opinion and we then had a discussion on just how in the hell you could eat and drive like that.

And hey - maybe he was a footballer??

JahTeh said...

Annie O, I'm glad I don't drive, I'd be a danger to myself and everyone else especially when I really have to shut my eyes when an overcrowded sheep truck goes by.

EC, I know that steady mascara hand which is doing really well until the cat jumps on the bed.
I can't eat a bowl of cereal sitting at a table without it going everywhere and the mobile takes concentration let alone talking on it.

Jayne, all these bowls of cereal and not a drop spilt? I don't care if speed cameras are a rip off, if they catch just one idiot they're worth it.

Stacks, this was such a big thing in Japan, full beauty case and mirror that the railway wanted a law against it. I'm talking a carriage full of Japanese girls all with make up going on. Andrew's friend Vik might remember the kerfuffle.

How many years before the Young Jedi starts driving lessons? Believe me Duck, lay down the medicinal brandy now, you'll need it. I can't believe both my granddaughters are driving already and I saw them ride bikes.

Andrew, it's the one that says completely non-thinkingly stupid in charge of a speeding death object.

Kath, not possible. He was doing too many things at the same time and if he hadn't a knife and fork in each hand, one finger would have been up his nose as well.

R.H. said...

The charge is careless driving.

Years ago the London police arrested a Pakistani driving through the city. His car ran on LPG and he also had a hose from the fuel tank connected to a gas ring on the passenger seat. When he was pulled over he was cruising along, spoon in his hand, stirring a pot of food he was heating on the gas ring.

Lord Rochester. said...

Ho Ho Ho. Oh that RH, what a chap.

Happy Valentines to All.

Miss Jahteh:
Every house
Along the Strand
Each a palace
More than grand.
More than opulence
By waters blue
More than wealth
Lesser than you.

-Rochester.

River said...

I don't care how smooth and comfortable today's cars are, I'll continue to eat my breakfast at home.

JahTeh said...

Rh, that's brilliant thinking outside the box and he could have charged passengers for a mobile lunch.

Thank you for the poem, a Rochester masterpiece.

River, I agree with you. I get nervous if the taxi driver is talking on a hands free mobile let alone cooking his lunch beside me.

Link said...

Long before I had a mobile phone, I dreamt I ran off the road whilst talking on it--it was salutory and so I don't as a rule do it.

Marshall Stacks. There was a woman who used to catch the commuter train into town from Glenbrook, who did same. Got on with foundation on and proceeded to paint on eyes etc. It was utterly fascinating, but best not get caught watching as she was quite shitty about being observed.

Like the tattooed man in shorts and singlet at the supermarket line up, replete with ferocious 'Whad are YOU looking at! stare.

Marshall Stacks said...

Link - I am the sort who would stare simply in disapproval, while simultaneously thinking how evil it is to be judgemental.
A while ago during a major public drama, a mixed-sex group of undisguised Muslims were totally kind helpful and generous to me.
I'm smart too: caught staring at a dreadful man like the one you described, who was being vicious in the supermarket to his battered-looking partner, when he caught my (expressionless) stare, I replied
"you look just like my son and I am missing him"
I see in todays news Melbourne's 82-y-o speed-hoon Judith has 'oh Magoo - you've done it again'. My 87-y-o hoon father recently had his 4th speed fine (he stalks the freeways) and when the letter came re the Points, he was furious "what are these Points? I don't know Points!"

JahTeh said...

Link, I can't help myself staring at tattoos and why do they do it, besides I don't like the colours.

Stacks, I took one look at that old lady and thought "Mrs Magoo".
Surely Magoo is out of points by now with his hooning around every Saturday?

The Elephant's Child said...

I know this post is old(ish) but reading the paper the other day I came upon a new idiot. Caught speeding (big time) and pissed. Not uncommon I hear you say. True, but the idiot in question was going to his test for a drivers licence!.

Middle Child said...

clever clogs - my husband used to drive with a can of beer between his knees and could light a smoke with matches while driving but my dad could actually get the tobacco out of the packet with one hand...out the tally ho paper in that hand and roll a smoke all with that one hand er sometimes two and drive as well