It's been that kind of week

I love this Catmas Tree.  The Ice Bear is at the bottom although he hasn't looked this awake for days. It's a happy happy picture until someone grabs a bauble.

I have a slight problem with a real tree.  After the hot day and the change and the wind, a branch broke in the middle of all the other branches and the only thing holding it off the ground is the tree next to it.  So being a smartie I thought I could sit in the chair and pull it towards me and cut the branches bit by bit until I realized that on the other side the branches were very much too close to 3 wires included electricity. If the wind changes then those wires will really be whacked around.  I'll ring AGL tomorrow because I don't want any neighbours getting fried. The main branch has rotted right in the middle and I couldn't move it an inch. I'm worried most about the big dead dried one that has spread out in spindly dry bits and the wind is really whipping those around.

If the lights go out I'll know why.  At least it didn't happen last night in the middle of The Last Jedi.  I hadn't seen this movie, don't ask why as I've seen every other Star War movie. I don't remember it at all.  I put it down to mother, she must have been having an episode when it was released but usually I would have bought the dvd and watched it.  I just don't remember the film at all.  And the last Star Wars is due out in December, I'd go, Gold Class but I couldn't stand the kids everywhere and I'd bawl my eyes out if it's a sad ending. I've avoided all the trailers so far.

There are sounds behind me, it's alive, yes 4.41, the stomach has awoken. Fancy Feast has changed their recipe and he is not happy and fortunately he doesn't like the very expensive stuff.  He also doesn't like his new tray. Very expensive, like the food, stainless steel and wood but shiney, he thinks another cat is trying to steal the food. He's exhausting, how did I manage 4 cats and 3 dogs and 2 kids, I can't even think about those days. Everytime I see a family on tv I go into shock.  I was meant to be selfish or have servants. 

Some people are so needy

Of course I didn't forget Andrew but you were on holidays and I didn't get a holiday but now you're home and away from children.

Enjoy and I'm sorry but I couldn't resist half unwrapping it.

It's only February

Already I have my candidate for 'Idiot of the Year' and it's not even a footballer.

Over the weekend 104 motorists were caught by police breaking road rules.

This one is in a special category of stupid.

"A man driving while eating with a knife and fork from a bowl between his legs and steering with this knees was one of 104 motorists found breaking road rules."

I'm still trying to imagine this in action. I take back the stupid, anyone multi-tasking like this should be running for Opposition Planning Minister.

His knife and fork skillz will be useful for tea at the Windsor.

TOO MUCH CRYING, NOT ENOUGH DROOLING

Noice isn't he? Now he's what I call heavy duty therapy.

Jayne, he has a drop of water on his jaw, you might like to come over and use that whole towell to wipe it off. I'll just stand and watch.

Kath, would you like to give a review of a good melting chocolate? I wouldn't want to drip any nasty compound stuff on him.

Andrew, you may look but not touch, the girls and I don't like fingerprints on our sweets.

THERAPY - BREATHE - DROOL- BREATHE AND REPEAT

Don't those legs go up a long way.

All the way up to that lovely chest.

Nice shorts, I love to unwrap my presents.

Yep, you can definitely bathe him in rose

water and drag him to my tent

in chains at midnight.

IDIOT OF THE YEAR

This is from our local paper:

A drunk driver crashed his car after accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with a knife while peeling an orange.

He blew five times the legal limit and lost his licence after his car careered out of control on Wells Road. He had consumed a cocktail of beer and spirit mixers.

The moral of the story is - never drink, drive and peel, it just proves three times over what an idiot you are.

THIS IS A TOLLIDAY

I love the ships, love the minerals, love the shape, love the little hoists going up from the harbour quay on both sides of the rock mountain.

CASTLE LIZZADRO

Another of William Tolliday's masterpieces. He created this castle in 1984 as a memorial to James "Chris" Lizzadro, a grandson of the founder of the Lizzadro Museum of Lapidary Art .

On a large slab of Brazilian agate, the 18ct gold castle rises from specimens of amethyst, malachite, azurite and vanadium. His signature diamonds are set as windows. The sculpture in in the museum rotates slowly to music and at the push of a button, the sound of preparations for battle are heard.

WILLIAM TOLLIDAY, MASTER GOLDSMITH

This is William Tolliday working on one of his fairytale castles. He was born in 1915 and worked his entire career at Garrard & Co., London. In the late 1960s he began creating his fairytale castle of gold, sitting in, on and around the most beautiful mineral specimens.
He said he inspired by the look of the Houses of Parliament and the buildings of Venice with the golden light of sunset behind them.
He first paints a water colour of his design then selects a foundation mineral base to suit the 18ct golden towers and bridges he constructs piece by tiny piece. He blended red, yellow, soft white and oxidised white gold to develop depth and perspective.
The reflective properties of the minderals change the light of the gold as the towers are added and soldered into place.
He used diamonds for windows which gave a life-like flash in the high towers.
Everything is in miniature ith amazing detail from the flags flying on the turrets, the rigging on the ships or the tiny trees hidden in the crystals.
He signed each piece with his name as a fine sprinkling of gold dust.
As it takes, on average, 12 months to execute the planned sculpture, only three or four are completed each year from the first water colour sketch.
Below is the first version of Neuschwanstein Castle, Bavaria, made in 1969. It's crafted of 18ct and 22ct red, yellow and white gold. The courtyard is made of the mineral barite. The natural rock base is formed of tourmaline and lepidolite minerals. Several of the turret windows of the three towers are set with baguette diamonds. It measure 6 5/8 inches by 5 1/4 inches in width.
It has no flat base and the gold battlements seem to perch precariously on top of the specimen instead of blending into the rocks.

This 1980s version of the Royal Castle Neuschswantein has the golden towers fully part of the amethyst geode on which it sits. Once again, there are diamond insets in the windows and the agate base balances the whole structure. Nestled inside the geode are tiny golden fir trees.

The whole sculpture is 23 cms tall.

A QUESTION

It was a bit cold last night. I wasn't sleeping well and doing some tossing and turning. Unfortunately on one of the turnings I got the left one caught under my armpit. It's not my fault, stupid Newton and his law of gravity. If it hadn't been for him I might have stayed pointing straight out instead of dropping on my feet.

Anyhow in the aftermath of squish extraction, I wondered about men.

I suppose if they wear PJs, their tackle wouldn't go wandering too far but if they don't, do they ever have squish moments? A sudden roll over in bed one way and the jewells go the other?
And edge of the bed moment and they fall over the precipice? I guess they'd have to be well endowed to really do damage on that one.

What do they do with all that outdoor plumbing when it's not confined?

Using my imagination about this. It's too long ago to remember.

*wanders off to curiously peruse fridge door*

I'LL JUST GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE NEW YEAR

So cute, so shiny, so pretty and so young. Next year, oh so close, I'm looking at one of those 'O' birthdays which will take me into the dirty old lady category if I post any more of these photos.

So here he is before I delete him permanently from the archives and go look for something old and grey wearing knee shorts with socks and sandals.

(The label does say fantasy)

WAITING, WAITING, WAITING

The beauty label Nephria commissioned a poll which showed men were left hanging around for an average of 17 minutes each time they went out with their partner. It was an average of one hour and two minutes waiting in shops.

Women spend up to 2 years and nine months over a lifetime to get ready for work, or go on a big night out. The poll gets right down to the nitty-gritty showing that women typically spend 22 minutes showering and shaving their legs, seven minutes moisturising or applying fake tan, 23 minutes on their hair, 14 minutes on make-up and six minutes getting dressed.

Most men say they get fed up waiting - and one in 10 has even ended a relationship because of it.

Big deal!

Women spend a lifetime waiting for men to put the toilet seat down. How many minutes do we wait until the last goal is kicked before we get taken out? How much time do we waste putting on an oxygen mask before the male gets the hint and uses deodorant? How many hours do we waste before he admits defeat and stops to ask for directions? How many eye-rolls can we get to the second before he realises that we don't care about the 44DD serving behind the bar?

Toughen up guys, patience is a virtue and while virtue is its own reward, you still have to wait for sex if we have a headache.