Sunday, November 04, 2018

Still standing for this month

Well sometimes it is when I feel 100 years old and still crawling down to the Home when I really want to stay at my home and finish Christmas presents and wrap what I already have instead of doing it all by next July.
I didn't get approval, I was given a compliment. An elderly (probably 2 years older than me) said how lovely I looked in my green dress, she just loved green.  The dress is 18 years old and still fits so how come my backside is also 18 years fatter and hasn't busted a seam?  I almost feel guilty about the tub of salted caramel ice-cream that is siren calling me from the back of the freezer.
I have enough guilts from the last few weeks.  I committed double homicide for one, terrified my mother for another by describing the size of the huntsman roaming the ceiling while I was talking to her on the phone.  If he had stayed in the curtains he'd have been safe but it had to roam and then disappear.  He had two choices of landing, the Christmas box or the wool basket and I was not putting my hand in either.  I eventually found him on the floor giving me the evil eye so I left him there.  I came out two days later and he is swinging from the ceiling, dropping lower and lower.  It means I'll have to search for him again but it didn't take long, quite dead and curled up on the carpet. Total surprise because I usually wait until I can catch them in a platic bag and throw them outside to live or die by Magpie.  My fault, huge blowfly came in the back door and he got sprayed, can't stand the memories of backyard dunnies and swarms of blowies.  I assume he floated within range of the huntsman who chomped the free meal and was swinging from the ceiling not in fun but dying agony.  Just to top the guilt when I threw the body out, a magpie ate it and since there is no dead bird in the backyard, I have not committed triple homicide.

I have not fallen over for weeks. 
I haven't been to the pokies.
I have been too busy making out my Christmas list.  It's a long list full of expensive goodies.
I have found the perfect conservatory for my style of house.
I need to win Tattslotto to build it.
My granddaughter and great granddaughter are another year older.
And tomorrow is the anniversary of my Decree Nisi, oh frabjous day.

Now start saving for my Christmas presents, list will be posted soon.


River said...

I love that frog, he's going on a coffee mug for sure!
I don't remember the date of my Decree Nisi, sometime in April.
VERY glad to hear you haven't fallen over in weeks. Not so glad to hear you haven't won lotto yet. (I haven't either)

Elephant's Child said...

I am also very glad you haven't fallen over in weeks. I have. I had an impressive fall a few days ago. Bruised and battered but nothing broken.
Looking forward to your Christmas list.

Cheryl said...

So good you haven't fallen and staying away from the pokies is great too, I love the song by the Whitlams I think it's called Blow up the pokies.I am not so brave as you when confronting wildlife inside - removal of frogs in the toilet bowl and spiders from inside is always someone else's job.

Andrew said...

As a country born lad, I know all about outdoor lavs and blow flies....and maggots. Just another reason to flee to the big smoke.

Re your expensive Christmas List, I assume we are in the list.

Ah, Cheryl's comment about The Whitlams and blow up the pokies is good.

JahTeh said...

River, usually I don't remember but the first year it fell on the same date as the Melbourne Cup. I was glad to see the official paper as I found out he'd done all the divorce work on the Internet and that gave me the shakes.

El Chi, it's not a competition unless it's for both of us to stand on our own two feet for at least a year. Ben A has a new book (not novella) at the Book Depository, I'm still deciding but I'll probably give in because it sounds good.

CG, I love going to the pokies but only if I have the money to spare. It's an exercise in people watching and I leave most of my money at home and always keep my taxi fare in a separate purse. I don't think I want to know how you get a frog in the toilet bowl.

Thank you Andrew, you know I have a phobia about maggots. That's something to ask mother about, why didn't she just tell us kids to pee in the bath instead of trekking miles in the dark. Even now I put on a torch just to go in the house.
I'm not expecting expensive from you, wasting your money on frivolous trips. Why haven't you been to Antarctica yet, El Chi will carry your bags for free.

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