Saturday, May 14, 2011

Two plane seats for the lady

Meet exotic dancer Chelsea Charms and her inflatable assets.

She's had her breasts enlarged by a, now illegal, procedure in which polyproylene string was implanted into each breast.

The material irritates the breast lining, creating a serum which enlarges the breasts, a process which could continue indefinitely but which she insists stops eventually.They are still growing at the rate of an inch a month.

Gee, guess what, they actually make living a bit difficult. She has trouble eating, has to sleep on her back, and has trouble fitting into aeroplane toilets. Not to mention the regular exercises to be able to support the watermelon sized boobs.

I am still trying to picture her doing an exotic dance without killing the front row of droolers but stripping wouldn't be so hard, just breathe in. Pole dancing? No that could be hazardous to everyone's health.

There are questions though. I am a fattyboombah so I can't throw oranges at watermelon boobs if that's her life ambition but to put something into the body that is not, inert like silicon (it moves) or saline, but is still causing growth doesn't seem like a good idea. The lefty is very near the heart and both are sitting over the lungs.

What if the implanted string decides to migrate?

I was waiting for her to say her decision empowers her.

Would feminists say it empowers her?

I would say it empowered the bank account of the doctor who put it in there in the first place.

At my age, I'm just happy mine are heading towards my feet and doing their job of keeping my chest warm.


Jayne said...

Dear lord, that is a dreadful colour she's chosen to wear!
Stripes are so slimming...

The Elephant's Child said...

And for her stage act she crawls into the centre of the stage and tries to stand up. Urk. I cannot imagine how/why anyone could view those as an asset. Sigh, her body, her choice.

River said...

I saw this lady on today tonight yesterday and I was just horrified.
I'll never understand how people can do this to themselves.

R.H. said...

Freak show. I wouldn't pay five cents. I'd dig deep for a dolly at Williamstown Coles though. Wooh! She got it all. Shirt tail hanging out just to be different. Well I should be ashamed, considering the age difference, and I am a bit, but it's not like I plan being a perv, it just happens. I went bonkers over a little blondie at the Northern CCU the other day as well, and sometimes I think (multi-woman man that I am) justice is getting what you want.
Blooper has been off the air so I've been going through the archives here, laughing and being amazed at my comments. I've deleted a couple, and cuties would know, sometimes you just don't kick straight, sometimes you miss everything, booting straight out of bounds. That's a football analogy, for those who watch the midday movie instead. Good.

-Robert. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gerry said...

I think I see a lot of sadness in her eyes. Am I imagining it?

Fen said...

one word - WHY?

Link said...


Middle Child said...

Fuck a duck...fart a pedal bust your arse and win a medal! What else could one say? And the word verification is "handston" how close is that to hands on??? I ask you

Marie said...

Good heavens! Why? Well, if she's on a plane, there's no way the food tray would be able to come down.

And here's me wishing mine were smaller and they aren't anywhere near the size of those juggernauts.

Andrew said...

These are objects of desire for straight men? The world is a curious place.

R.H. said...

They're a distortion, a cartoon, a comment on obsession.
There are no straight men. There are men, that's all. They've got a doodle.

JahTeh said...

Jayne, you will laugh but I had visions of her in your outside bathtub and planes trying to light up for landing.
And I agree about stripes.

EC, yes, her body, her choice but I can't see how they can remove the irritant that's causing the boobboom.

River, there's attention seeking and there's attention screaming 'look at me'. I don't know about the special exercises to strengthen her back,I reckon she's need an iron bar.

RH, looking at Miss Boobs is not perving when they're so far out in front you could lose an eye.
So, you've been tampering with your extremely witty comments, good thing you own the copyright.

Bear, more like physical pain, the kind that keeps on giving. I'm glad the procedure is now illegal but I'm sure it won't stop the teenytits sad women.

The eternal question Fen. It goes with men stuffing themselves with steriods to look like the Hulk when women usually don't like that look.

Link, do you think with that crap inside, still growing, that she will live to enjoy money?

Therese, I believe you've just taken the title of best (words fail me) from our Jayne of Great Southern Land and I never thought that would happen.

Marie, no need for a tray, she has two.
I can say that since my mediums usually catch the crumbs of anything I'm eating.
But the sleeping on her back got me, all that weight on her chest and heart, I'll bet there are some nightmares there.

Andrew dear, these are just objects of derision. You wouldn't like to try the procedure for your objects of desire? Probably give R a heart attack.

Robbert, doodle? How frightfully quaint but then you are a gentleman.

R.H. said...

It's mental illness. Likewise there's women crazy to be thin who die of starvation.

Lord Sedgwick said...

Dammit Coppertop. You posted this out one day from my birthday and you didn't wrap her up in gift paper for me.

Guess you didn't have anywhere near enough gift paper left over from when you had yourself delivered to me after my previous birthday.

Guess it's the thought that counts.

Will await with baited breasts for next years birthday.

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