Vive le Revolution, please!

It's RUOK day or some such rubbish. No I'm not. How can anybody in this country be ok with that disgusting LNP lying about little children, wanting to make sure the poor get poorer and the entire House of Reps completely without a brain between them.  I tell you if they had to pee in a cup for a drug test it would take four of them. One to make sure the door was shut, one to hold the cup, one to pee and one to hold the instrument of piss so the no balls wouldn't get wet.
One really tries not to hate, it's unproductive but this country at the moment is generating such a degree of hate and bile that you might as well give in and enjoy the thought of Cuntton falling down a steep cliff into a floating tribe of Great Whites. I'm not apologizing for the language either, I've reached the age where I can do anything I want so I think I'll have something fattening for dinner.
It's also annoying me that I'm still two legs of a five legged computer chair.  I remember the time when you bought a chair and it arrived standing up, not lolling about in a box waiting for attention.
Nephew will be here at the weekend but chair has to take seconds behind dragging the huge desk out for hard rubbish collection.  New table is also lolling about in a box. Sneaky Council didn't give us much notice this year and I haven't yet cleared the top which is full of rubbish, most of which belonged to mother.  Her stuff still keeps turning up to annoy me, I opened a box the other day to find two brand new pairs of socks and they weren't cheap when I bought them. How the hell she managed to shove them in a box so small it would be lucky to house a cockroach I don't know.
Be back on a lux chair by Monday. 

Cheers for our AFP

Yeah, Scomo and Dutton.   They're Cactus.

And I thank our AFP and their raids on everybody.  I am having a sign made for my front door. 

 EXCUSE THE MESS. I'VE HAD A VISIT FROM OUR NATION'S GUARDIANS.

Morbid Monday

Okay, so the stupids won out but you only have 3 years to repair the brain cells.

Because we'll be back.  Back and better and bigger and no lies.  Remember this next time you hit the voting booth.

It must be nearly Spring, the dills are begining to bloom

Cartoon of the year.  Embiggen at your risk. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Will migrants be grilled on the tradition of BBQ sausage on bread?

Dear Prime Minister and that other moron that seems to be attached to your side these days,

How many languages do you speak?
At least little Nigel Molesworthless spoke Mandarin.

Do you really think that Pauline Hanson would pass this test?  Perhaps another section should be added, 'foot in mouth' English. I suppose she can still speak 'Chippie' although her current BimBot wouldn't allow such vulgarity.

Shorten would pass, he speaks English and Butch Union. Umm, possibly knows the Qld code of beer can clicking but only the Secret Union Stuff.

Abbott speaks and lies in fluent English. There, another section  'Can you tell a lie like or believe one from a backbencher?'

Should cheating and running around the rules using 'Lawyer speak' be a separate section since so many Parlimentarians are so fluent in it?

And you wouldn't put Barnaby in charge of the language of the Bard, although I have heard he speaks 4 languages, English, Sheep Shit, Cow Crap and Utter Rubbish.

Ignore anyone in Parliament who comes from Queensland, not good with English but do seem to be fluent in Coal seam and mumbling with a secret code of beer can clicking.

Now dear Mr Trumpbull, er, Crumbull, damn let's just go with Malcolm, as warm and cuddly  as a dying Barrier Reef, I don't think you've given the new Migrant test for being a "Beer swilling, fly wrangling, thong wearing, sheila respecting, bloody good Aussie Bloke" a really good think. 
Won't somebody think of the children?  Our children who only speak Strine who'll be out there competing with migrants who must speak at least two languages, sometimes three if it's a dialect of the other two. 

 Parliamentarians should show an example, start at the top of the dung heap and it will trickle down to the peasantry.  Learn another language, speak it, read it, swear in it, cheat in it but show some guts and do what you're asking a 95 year old person, sometimes illiterate, probably traumatized from years of drone bombing whose only dream is peace and quiet and food.
So get orf ya bumcrack, take that beady eyed boofhead and have another go at alienating the world.

I, myself, have already set a fine example of speaking proper good English and a ripper dialect of Foul. 

Yours in Mateship, Coppy 
(see that, half way through a Phd in nickname)

All lies says the leader

He's won, he's the President, the big cheese, and still he whines and complains that his turnout march was bigger than Obama's.  Cameras lie but not as much as he does.
I hope it is photoshopped for the big blank spot of the Universe but no doubt about this, Attenborough Rules.

(it's okay Annie, I checked nothing is being chewed to death amongst the penguins)

I wonder if Teh Leader is going to ban animal migration from Alaska to Mexico even with their green card stuck to their butt?

We live in interesting and arresting times.

I'll have to wash the blog now.

It's been rumoured that Melania Trump will not move into the White House but stay at home to look after Barron.  She wants him to remain at his exclusive expensive school where, presumably his exclusively rich friends will not stuff his head down the expensive toilets because they don't like Daddy President.

So while I am reading this tear jerking mother and son problem, my eye kept wandering over to the photograph of father and son.  It reminded me of some other photograph or couple or film and then the bell chimed and clanged my brain into reality.  Us Potterites still have not forgotten the 'fingernails down the blackboard' scene from Deathly Hallows Part two where Voldemorte tries to be human by hugging a horrified Draco.  Now look at the father and son photo again, it's there as plain as day.  Barron is as far apart as he can be while being held by two hands, he knows Voldemorte has returned.

Free tickets for the Canberra Circus.

Pauline 20th century heroine answers the call of the Queensland dinosaurs.

Ranting Saturday night because Dutton looked like he was back become lightly surprised to find him behind on Sunday, moderately overjoyed to watch his margin thin by Sunday night but still no celebration because votes are still being counted.

I suppose the post mortems have already started behind closed doors.  Blame 18s for thinking, pensioners for being scared or wealthy losing money anything but the real reason, serving their political party instead of the people who vote for them.  One of the commenters said on Saturday night that the postal votes would favour the coalition because they were more co-ordinated in sending out the information.  Not in this electorate, not one Government flyer but plenty of Opposition information including a postal voting form and return envelope.

Complaints everywhere because of the number of independants but ain't Democracy grand and nobody had to face a bullet to vote.  But of all the elections not to put in a Drover's Dog, he could a been a contender since most of the mongrel breeds got dumped.

I want to be there

I probably would fall off the rocks climbing down but the view across a whole load of brilliant sea would be worth it.  That's my eldest granddaughter on those rocks. Her father used to do the same thing except he would usually be hanging off a cliff photographing a waterfall.

Mother is back at the Home.  My sanity is creeping back, slowly.

I have a lesson for all dumbarses.  When you get a new phone, don't get the same number as the previous one until you learn how to use the new one.  Anyway now no-one can get me on the mobile because it's dead and the other isn't alive yet.

I left home around 12 to vote, not too far.  It sprinkled rain.  I stopped next door to thieve some of their flat rocks since both cars were missing.  Unfortunate to collide with them coming out of the polling booth.  Prayed bag would not slide off the walker and drop stones at their feet. Steel myself to walk into the school where my son was one of the first students, push the memories back to the dungeon and lock the door.

Voting on my feet because mother made me miss the postal vote deadline.  I mentally got the giggles as the paper was so long, it went across the bench and up the wall.  I had an image of Will Smith in Men in Black trying to  fill out test forms and dragging the table across the floor. I had pencil, paper and glasses trying to escape.  Trying to read the tiny writing was a bastard but I finally found all the people I had decided on and that included the looking after animals party.  The voluntary Euthanasia Party was voluntary, mandatory and I would have included it for mother.
If I made any mistake, I hope it was for someone good and not Pauline Hanson or Family First or any other creep party  which was hard since most of them were creep parties.

Missed buying a lovely sausage and onions, no chairs to sit on and I was beyond standing and there is no way I could steer walker and stagger with food at the same time.  I was forced to dine on the delicious odour of frying onions following me down the road. Double strength cappuccino at the local and a litre of ice-cream in the bag started me off on the last leg to home.  2 o'clock I fell in the back door.

I will be watching the ABC count with the delightful Antony Green and using the remote to delete any face I don't like.  Usually the ABC is well mannered and not like the other stations which resemble a bunch of cage fighters.  

Beware the politics of men

With all this election rubbish going on here and in the USA, women should commit this to memory.

A recent survey of Trump supporters discovered the following:

     77 percent say it bothers them to come into contact with people who speak little or no English.
     81 percent say discrimination against whites is as big a problem as discrimination against minorities.
     77 percent say discrimination against Christians in the U.S. is a major problem.
     83 percent say the American way of life needs to be protected against foreign influences.
     83 percent say the values of Islam are at odds with America’s values and way of life.
     80 percent say immigrants constitute a burden on American society.
     68 percent say the country has changed mostly for the worse since the 1950s.
    72 percent say we need a leader who is willing to break some rules to set things right.


Why am I repeating something that does not concern our election?  Because after reading some of the election material of the minor parties, I mean meaner parties such as Family First, I could replace America with Australia.  Look at Morrisson, he feels discriminated against because of his religion. He seemingly has forgotten that he chose his religion, he wasn't born with it, his genes didn't jump up and down screaming I'm a religion, I'm a religion.  Unfortunately gay genes can't scream, they're too busy hiding in case some religious nut jumps up and down screaming, he's gay, he's gay.
How many Australians would say the values of Islam are at odds with us?
How many Australians would say immigrants constitute a burden on us?
How many Australians would say the Australian way of life (booze, utes and blowflies) needs to be protected against foreign influences?
I don't know about changing for the worse since the 50s since some of our politicians seem to be still living there.
As for a leader who is willing to break some rules to set things right, sorry but I don't think we can resurrect the Governor-General who thought he would be Queen.


It worries me the percentage of people who were willing to answer this survey in this fashion and who would answer the same way in Australia.

It brings me back to the Wild Woman Sisterhood, mothers should be running the country, the CWA would be better financial managers than who we have.  Women in business who are married with children can multi-task better than Parliament.  Most women are against war but we can still fly fighters and command Navy ships but we don't take killing lightly.  Women are probably the biggest change for the better since the 1950s.  One day we will take over the world when the men have finished experimenting with ruling with half a brain, that's not each, that's between them.

Always leave room for Karma

Peter Dutton
Member of the Australian House of Representatives
Office: Minister for Immigration and Border Protection since 2014

No, not defacing my blog by putting his ugly mug here.  But we all remember his snide remarks about the water lapping at small islands, don't we.

Sydney's storms this week.  

Feel something Dutton?

That's Karma, ripping your testicles off and stuffing them in your mouth.

I'm glad it's going to be a long campaign

I can't credit this but thanks for the clarification.

I've always voted for the same party in the lower House but gave more thought to the Senate until I read an article written by Antony Green on how preferences are allocated.  But after much laughter about the Indies elected last time, most have done the hard yards and now come across as a lot brighter than originally thought.  The same can't be said about some of the major party Senators.
So for the first time I'm damned if I know who to vote for in this election.  What a motley mouldy bastard bunch of self serving bludgers - both parties. And the Greens made a deal with the LNP, street cred zero.

Yes, I am concerned with asylum seekers, yes, I know all the arguments about people smugglers but count up the amount of money used every day to keep these people in detention and don't tell me that it couldn't have been used in wiping out people smugglers in the first place.  And don't tell me that that amount couldn't have processed all asylum seekers in a short period of time instead of making them so desperate that they took a chance on being killed to get to safety in this country. And surely we have enough hell holes in Australia if we need to lock them up.

And then we have all the other rorts going on. I won't miss Bronwyn but I will bring her up every time a government minister calls pensioners hangers on or bludgers.  And big Clive, will I live long enough to see him in court for theft and fraud?  And thank you L and LNP ministers for environment  for not having the guts to stand up and say no thanks to miners, we'd rather keep the Great Barrier Reef to look at and frack off from the best farmland for food production.  Do any of our electeds have a spine or a bullshit detector to keep them out of the muck they're making for us?

And I must make mention of the Australian Christian Lobby.  Keep your noses out of Parliament and look to your own places of worship and money making.  Whatever your religion, Parliament is secular and if elected park your belief system in the House car park and pick it up after the session is finished. Since most of your outdated religious beliefs have a greater impact on women than men, keep it to yourself.  Once elected you are supposed to represent the people who put you in the seat regardless of how they worship or not worship.  Since some/all of you still insist that your views must be taken into consideration when in debate then a large denominational button should be pinned to your chest, it'll make it easier to know if the views are yours or coming from a higher power.

Bored now?  Probably this is as much junk as you will get in a session of Parliament and about as brilliant but I'm still in the same predicament about voting and after PUP last time round, I wouldn't even vote for a drover's dog.

The week in photos through a gin bottle

I was looking for something else and came across this.  It's all yours Andrew, because it will drive you crazy with the search engines to find out if it is true.  Russia has a big girl ballet company and she is a star.  With all the carry-on about obesity, the company might have to close because they are running out of big girls.

 Miss O'Dyne is unwell so I am posting a photo of Lily the goat. She's up in the paddock where Miss O'Dyne has an old trailer with a tarp on top to keep the rain off.  But you know goats, she is jumping down off the tarp where she has made herself a nice sunny hammock.

Margaret Whiteangel has been highlighting Port Fairy on her blog.  I loved this little town but it's probably changed somewhat since I was there in 1996 and this was the closest image I could find of the cottage where we always stayed which was called Lavender Cottage in Sackville Street. This one backs on to the river. The boys were too old to come on holidays with the old fogies and so glad I am when I think back on what horrors they would have done. The river, the back calm beach, the rough front beach,  I would have been lying down with a cold cloth on my head with the tension. No tower hotels here but I wouldn't have put it past them to try and climb the lighthouse.

Elephant's child is also not well so here is something to make you feel better.  A ginormous green freezing cold iceberg with a sprinkling of penguins. 

How could I not think of River (not well either) when I found this T-shirt.  I would have given this to Elephant's Child but she already has two cats so qualifies to be crazy already, a third cat might tip her over the edge.

Now that the horrendous month of March has passed, a month according to my stars that was going to be one of the star months of the year and absolutely wasn't, I might be able to be sensible in my blogging if I don't get ill or there are no mother emergencies. It's been a painful few weeks for us bloggers, change of seasons?  I know that having sinus at one end and cystitis at the other made it very dangerous to sneeze in the street. It couldn't possibly be the fact that we are getting older or maybe it's the horrors of another election where a drover's dog looks more intelligent than the parties we're supposed to support.  That must be it, I'm depressed just writing that.

Come on now, how about a bit of smiting

Yes, I'm thinking of you, Cory Bernadi and your mouldy band of godbothering right wing 'don't mind if the gays kids kill themselves because of bullying' slugs.  Something has to be done about this ratpack of a Parliament and there's a few Labor snots included here.

Best quote from a newspaper today:

"All the coalition have done is replace budgie smugglers with a very expensive suit".

It goes so well with Elephant's Child's  favourite comment,  "same pig, better lipstick".

I have said so many times on this blog, we live in a secular country so if you are elected to Parliament, leave your religion at the door.  You're here to represent all of us not just the people YOU consider to be righteous. 

And just because your invisible overlord in the sky didn't put the word 'SCIENCE' in that magical book you put so much stock in, doesn't mean it isn't real.  And if He didn't want us to have knowledge, he should have been smarter and disguised the apple as Durian (look it up).  

And why the minion comment?  Had a good look at Abbott's and Bernardi's ears lately? 

Over and out Homeland Security, go menace an innocent child.

He said what and he's nearly what?

Shane Warne thinks we evolved from aliens.  I always thought he didn't quite fit this planet.  But he has an excuse, he's on a (pardon me as I choke with laughter) reality show.  I rather hope he gets bitten on the arse by an unevolved earth spider because ain't no-one is going to suck that venom out.

And the other hideous news belongs to Baarmy Joyce.  I never quite thought about this before but no-brain is just one heartbeat away from being Prime Minister. I don't care how much it costs, I want Turnbbot protected 24 hours a day, don't even let him get a paper cut in case it turns septic. Baarmy as P.M., just the thought is brain crushing. I wonder if there is a chance of stunning him and hiding him in the middle of one of those ghastly sheep ships where he won't be found until well out of Australian waters.

Every time I think of this country lately, I start humming "Somewhere over the rainbow".  Watching too much question time in Parliament will do that to you.  

And I really do have a unicorn and you can't prove I don't.

Computer fixed but not politics

I just love a family gathering for the camera.  Is that a microphone I see hanging like the 'Sword of Damocles' over the little group?

Considering that Dutton was gaffing with Morrison and Abbott, we'd have enough dirt to fill in half of Canberra's lovely lake for a new refugee camp.

Wait for their new film, "Carry on up the Canberra", a comedy with subtitles that bear no relation to the words they're actually speaking.

A LNP production financed by truckloads of bullshit.

I love the smell of burning bronnies in the morning

Bwahahaha, keep them coming, they're better than Fat Joe's or the Bat Earred Monk's. 

 Hi ASIO, keep up the good work at the demo's.

How much renewable energy could we have by burning redundant politicians, 'let them eat cake' Hockey could burn for years!

On Thursday, Prime Minister Tony Abbott used primetime radio to boast about cutting clean energy, calling wind farms "visually awful" and arguing "I would frankly have liked to have reduced the number a lot more". 1

Now, his government is kicking straight into action by rescheduling a parliamentary vote for Monday morning to slash jobs and investment for Renewable Energy Target (RET).

But here's the kicker: Monday's proposed legislation won't just cut investment in clean energy. The Abbott Government wants to redefine 'clean energy' altogether, by including burning native forests in the Renewable Energy Target. A move like this could see the open slather logging of forests that our Australian wildlife depend on for survival. Just as terrible: every native forest cut down and burnt for electricity takes away from capacity and more investment in the clean energy of the future - like solar.

That's the email I received from "Get Up" today.  Does this idiot realize how long a native forest tree takes to become "renewable" again?  Are the animals renewable, you know the ones who shelter in trees, on trees or underneath trees?  Does this troll of a politician know how much carbon trees take in and oxygen put out for us to breathe?  Does this entire political party have a brain cell between them that can estimate the damage of trees burnt and sold as "renewable" energy?  Well, the way the Mad Monk obviously sees it, most of the liberal (I refuse them a Capital) party have been living in the shadow of wind farms and have been permanently damaged by it.

Oh, here's a clue.  Let's build solar reflecting panel farms in our famous red and flaming hot centre. Too expensive  or you don't know what they are?  It's a shame you don't have a Minister for Science to explain it to you.  He could also explain about building wind farms in windy places because the wind is free.  Never mind we'll have lots of windy places when all the trees are cut down.  Perhaps the Minister for the Environment could look up "Mallee" and see what the ignorant did to that region.
Do we have a Minister for the Environment, as in for all Australia not just looking after the grounds of Parliament House and making sure no-one sneaks a wind turbine up there considering the free hot air that flows from that asylum.  Oh dear, there goes another trigger word, Hello ASIO.

Let's talk

Fitzroy Island on the Great Barrier Reef.

New research into early Aboriginal stories set along Australia's coast has detected evidence of dramatically rising shoreline waters over several thousand years. It seems that sea level about 20,000 years ago was 120 meters below its current level, rising 13,000 years ago to about 70 meters below current sea level.

It seems today's sea level was finally reached only about 6,000 years ago. Linguists have also uncovered ancient Aboriginal tales about living where the Great Barrier Reef now stands.
"In the beginning, as far back as we remember, our home islands were not islands at all as they are today. They were part of a peninsula that jutted out from the mainland and we roamed freely throughout the land without having to get in a boat like we do today. Then Garnguur, the seagull woman, took her raft and dragged it back and forth across the neck of the peninsula letting the sea pour in and making our homes into islands."

This is part of an Aboriginal story about the origin of the Wellesley Islands in the southern Gulf of Carpentaria.  It's a story that can be found along every part of the coast of Australia.  But these stories are not part of the "Great Flood" tales found all over the world, the difference being in the Aboriginal stories, the water does not recede and the land does not regenerate.  The sea levels changed around Australia after the ice ages and it's well known scientifically.  The source of the legends seems to be based on observations of events and preserved through oral traditions as the sea level rose all around the world but only here do the stories exist.

They may have existed elsewhere but scholars had the view that oral traditions rarely survive more than a millennium so probably never looked for them.  Australian Aboriginal storytelling is for preserving information, handing down from generation to generation with accuracy. Of course you have to try to make a distinction from the 'fact' story and the story for entertainment.

One of the comments on this article said that "Socrates was concerned that the switch to written language would mean a decline in people's cognitive abilities." "The skills required to remember a complex narrative are allowed to atrophy when you have that narrative available in written form."

I could not read Chaucer in the original old English. I have trouble with HipHop language.  I have trouble with some parts of Shakespeare although four hundred years separate his language from english now, we are still using phrases he invented.  But we could not repeat his plays word for word without printing.  I must admit I got a bit lost in the comments after a while, my brain went walkabout but when we read the laments about the burning of the great library of Alexandria, that is something that we, who rely on the written word, can relate to.  Can we relate to the loss of an oral tradition of a catastrophe if we never knew there was one?

I still have a Sony Walkman, tapes, vinyl records but I can't watch the 16mm films of the family made in the 70s unless I go to great expense of having them put on dvds.  I can tell you the family stories but with no-one to follow me, they'll die out.  So with all the blogs, tweets, facebooks or instagrams of the electronic age, we're still behind, way behind, the Aboriginal tradition of the Dreamtime storyteller.

But we still have our storytellers, bless Parliament and its contingent of accomplished liars.

(All that waffling to make that one point.  Don't you love language.)

Inventions of note

Isn't this just adorable.  It's a quick Ferret muzzle for taking the ferret for walkies and it came to me that I must post it the minute I switched on the news this morning and the "Font of all Wisdom" was saying how he was going to save all of us (again).  Except for old people who are draining the land of money because we have a pension, a pension that we paid our taxes for and in an age when women were never considered in a superannuation scheme so most of us don't have that.  So you can see why the quick Ferret muzzle immediately sprang to mind. We'd still recognize him, the ears, you know.  The PM sort of lends himself to this, might even improve him but when I tried to picture Smokin' Joe in one I realized there'd have to be a bit of tinkering with the design.
 

And, and, and, it has accessories.  A Ferret activity tunnel no less.  He might have a bit of trouble because he has to go straight so the cross Ferret tunnel would be the go.  If it doesn't amuse him, at least it will stop him running in circles.  And the PA should look great toting the carry bag after she sticks a few shiny mirrors on the front so she can flash blind curious journos.

There you are, my contribution to the welfare of the nation, who says fat old pensioners are useless.