Taking my mind off things.

 

Now there's no chance that I could ever have fish except plastic ones. I'm the one who can kill cactus, remember, but I could sit all day and watch them scoot through this fantastic Grand Prix of a fish tank.  Up, down and around, how great would that be instead of just going from side to side.  I find watching fish very soothing, almost to the point of going comatose but this would be just the opposite. 

And for all the cat lovers, a bun bed to keep the beasts warm.  Do the clicky thing to get the full delight of these ningnongs playing hamburgers.

And just for River, I found a Purple double Dature flower.

Now I have no idea what this bird is called except fashionable enough to wander the Flemington paddock on any race day.   The whole outfit could go straight on to some beanpole model and be a winner.  If it didn't have that bug in its mouth the expression would be sheer "Le Louvre".

I'm just passing time until tomorrow when I have to have a CT scan on whatever is growing in my sinus cavity and depending on how big it is, followed by an appointment with a specialist followed by surgery or non-surgery.   Non-surgery in my book.  After the scan I have to get my eyes tested just to make sure the dizziness is not related to them although I think my glasses are the cause of the non-focus. They haven't been the same since I sat on them and the arms ended up pointing in different directions.

I have an opinion and too bad if you don't like it !!!!

Isn't he cute. Michael Kutsche's concept of a squirrel for the Disney movie of The Great Oz.

Now that the sweetness is over, down to business.

Rabid Abbott is bringing back Knighthoods and Dames for exceptional Australians.  Dear Goddess I almost lost lunch and last week's breakfast.  All I could see in front of me was Sir John Howard and Dame Outback Mining Queen.
But now I can say what I like about the big earred creep because George Brandies (not a typo) says I can.  I am allowed to be a bigot, swear at people and call them names.  It's free speech.  Good one George, take a knighthood for farnarkling.  As for big ears, I unavoidably was listening to him last night and so help me, I could have sworn I was listening to J. H. Smallperson.  I can say that, free speech, remember.

The search for the plane is off because of the weather.  Lots of weird going around about that plane.  It takes an Orion 4 hours flying to the search area, two hours of search then 4 hours flying back.  So whoever directed the pilot into the Southern Indian Ocean was not intending to return.  Why aren't they using drones to skim the waves? Oh sorry, drones are only for hunting and killing.

And Craig Thompson, friend and champagne deliverer to call girls everywhere is miffed that the legal system might actually work and dump him in jail.  Don't worry Craig, hopefully the member for Frankston will soon be joining you. Of course you might get a knighthood for your tireless efforts to get those working girls off the street and into your bed. 

Don't ask about mother.

She's chipper, the old girl.

22nd of March, just past an Equinox, heading for Easter and she's still with us.  My eyeballs are typing this as I am tired and they keep falling out if I don't keep my eyelids shut.  This always happens, she gets crook, I run around in circles and she gets better, I have a meltdown.  I was supposed to go today but I had several accidents before I managed breakfast so I thought it might be better if I didn't go anywhere near traffic, the house is dangerous enough.
Her BGL is still all over the place even with slow release insulin but the cellulitis is back in the calf where it lives just waiting for the next break out.
The new lot in charge are finally looking to me for information about the old girl, it's gotten through their thick heads that just because I don't have a certificate on a wall doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about.  If I can talk for 15 minutes to Professor Thompson and his group of students at the Alfred without being considered an idiot then I should be able to discuss with them at the Home, mum and all her history.
And I'm certain they have the room bugged.  My ragings about the food seem to have hit home. The "Cook" is still serving up stew but this week it was chicken not beef although mum says it was a kindness to have put the geriatric chook out of its misery.  She's missing cake but I've made sure that everything coming in is sugar free and I still refuse to sign the food register.  If she gets sick they can blame the Swill shoveller in the kitchen except for Sunday and Monday when the Chef is on and he cooks real food. The outside bins are never full when R cooks.
I have managed to cut out five winter dresses and two autumn dresses.  It was fine while I was cutting out but I didn't realise how far I was stretching across the bed to do it.  When I tried to get out of bed the next morning, every muscle in my back and legs told me to piss off and went back to bed, leaving me standing without support.  It took an hour under hot water in the shower for the pain to ease off and I would have stayed longer but I could feel the water cooling.
I can't remember how long it is since I had a new dress to wear.  Now for a couple of winter nighties and a new dressing gown. I have a thick fleecy fabric in off white and I don't think I want to wear that in the street as a dress. I can almost hear Captain Ahab creeping up behind me with a harpoon.
And cross fingers, I think the dvd viewer has come good.  I have the new phones, still can only turn them on and off.  With all the fuss and bother of the last few weeks I haven't looked into the computer situation.  And can't figure out if I'm in trouble now that Microsoft is going to stop supporting XP if I'm running FireFox.  Thank goodness I don't own an iPhone.
Now I'm going to have a treat. Cafe style fruit loaf and lovely hot coffee. I really deserve it.

Still here.

I'm still coughing but not as much, nose is almost clear and the headache is gone.  I'm certainly going for the flu jab as soon as possible.  I know is doesn't stop the flu but it does calm it down a bit and it's worse than a cold virus. 
Mother was glad to see me. She is going downhill slowly but surely and there's nothing we can do. She's quite cheerful and the mind is still okay.  After the Saturday night when even she thought she was going to die, Doc Marvin has keep a close eye on her.  Now every carer and nurse in the place knows if the paperwork for her is not up to date when he comes in, whatever time or day then they are going to get a mouthful. 
I expect to get a mouthful myself after this weekend of being extremely rude about the running of the kitchen and the quality of the food. Mother's glucose and insulin is still not stable but it doesn't matter to the kitchen. Charcoal toast and cold lunches for the past three days and my sister witnessed this as did I.  
So when I went to see her yesterday, I ordered a toasted ham and cheese sandwich for her lunch just in case she got another load of swill. I had coffee, walked through Mentone, walked through Coles then to the Home.  The sandwich was still warm when I opened it and Mum shared hers with another resident and they both said the same thing, cold lunch. It would only be 5 minutes from the kitchen to mum's room so the plate is obviously not warm to start with. It was 10 minutes before I got a word out of either of them as they drooled their way through that damn sandwich. The tea boy was berated by all when he came to remove the dishes and since he's a little squealer, it'll be on my head.  I have already threatened them with the Dept of Aged Care so now is the time to be very quiet and let them wait for the other boot to fall.

The Arfur Daley car yard is reducing its stock. The wheeler and dealer has sold the Kombi on ebay and it's going  Tuesday. The buyer wanted to know if he could drive it home so it went round the block this morning, puffing smoke but otherwise going like a dream. I had to laugh though, he had his mate with him and all I could think of was Ratty and Mole from The Wind in the Willows.  The nephew is 6'4" and the mate is about 4'6" and all I could see of him in the van were his eyes and a hat.  So I still have a '64 no wheels Falcon, a VW soft top and a black Datsun which will be sold as soon as it's turbo tuned.  This turn-around is all due to the fact that he has now bought an Audi, front in perfect condition, engine magnificent but no boot where it was rear ended.  The owner, when told the fix-up price just said forget it, the wheeler and dealer offered him cash and it was his.  He just happened to have the back end of an Audi in perfect condition on hand.   I sat through 30 photos of the ins and outs of an Audi and I have to admit it's in beautiful condition inside. Cream leather and wood trim with all the bells and whistles and a very clean engine.   When he finishes with it, it'll be perfect. 

And a big thank you to Miss O'Dyne again who told me about the trick of putting a small pipe on the tap handle to make it turn easily.  He's doing that for me next week in the usual barter for car rent space.  I just cannot grasp the tap hard enough to turn it on or turn it off so I've always got the hoses wrapped around  trees for the leaks I can't help.  He came in last week and opened up all the jars I had lined along the bench. I'd already hacked off the lid of the vegemite jar.
And wonderful in the storm last night, Mick the tree lopper had cleaned the spouting so well, I only had half a bucket of water to put on the plants.

Head hurts

Everything hurts especially when I cough which I've been doing since last week.
Sinus dripping like a tap, joint pain, headache and this is only a cold virus. I'll be getting the flu jab as soon as possible. Two nights of not sleeping didn't help. If I sat up, I coughed, If I tried lying down, I coughed and whistled. It sounded like rats had set up a nest in the lung.

It's been made worse by not being able to go anywhere near the Home and having to rely on other people to give me news. We nearly lost mother on Saturday night but once again she came through. I'd had  cancelled the little party on Saturday but a couple of friends went in. She was very hot, not the weather, and wet cloths for her head and a fan helped. Night nurse rang me about eight and her blood sugar was through the roof and Doc Marvin had ordered Insulin for her to stop it going to coma level.

Next morning she tells me it was 136, in which case I was talking to a corpse or she heard wrong. She then tells me she shouldn't have had a glass of lemonade but I find out from friends she'd had several glasses because she was so thirsty. Bingo! If I'd been there I would have realized she was having so much lemonade because water wasn't quenching her thirst, diabetes was acting up when it's been stable since she went to live there. That episode was due to infection and is still not settling down and Insulin is still in the mix. Doc Marvin arrived yesterday to check on her. They are always so surprised that he turns up, you'd think by now they should know and have all the paperwork up to date instead of getting a lecture and I wouldn't want a lecture from him.

So no pavlova for mother but joy, the lazy bitch in the kitchen had put her down for frankfurts for tea. Mother always has toasted sandwiches for tea, always. fortunately the tea lady came in and questioned the choice. It looks like I'm going to have to start going in at lunchtime to see that she's having at least one meal that's edible. Yesterday they served up curry, she never eats curry, ever, so she didn't eat and the BGL went up to 27.9 just before the Doc arrived. Today it was lovely chicken with potato and green vegetables because the part time chef was cooking.

I am barred from going in until Thursday when this damn virus should be almost gone. I would go tomorrow but I can't take the chance of her catching anything and I would be totally out of it by the time I made it back home. I haven't bothered taking my BGL either. The only thing that stopped the cough, momentarily, and the glass coated throat was taking water with honey dissolved in it. Sips of that while I talked on the phone was the only way I could talk. And I agree with Miss O'Dyne that one can live on toast very comfortably.
Computer is still powering down to dead stop but I'll keep going while I can.

Bright as a button

No idea where that saying comes from but that's what the old girl was like today. My sister was astounded. I was astounded that my sister went back for a second day but she said mother looked so bad yesterday that she didn't want to remember her like that. Mother is fine, a little breathless but she had a shower, pathology and ECG and lunch. Rang twice on the phone and doesn't remember much about yesterday at all. Now she wants a new mobile with bigger buttons so she doesn't make a mistake by locking it and not being able to get me.

I have lungs that are on fire, throat still like broken glass, dizzy and headache.  She would like to see me tomorrow even without the pavlova. And you wonder why I keep saying we'll have to throw her in a vat of molten steel to knock her off.

And the plate. Neat, it's an inside windchime using an old plate and bits of cutlery. I'm not sure about the heavy spoons and forks though, I'd rather put large gems on a longer chain. Mind you, plates with this kind of edge were very expensive in the day but I've got a parrot one hanging around somewhere unless I've gone mad with de-cluttering and chucked it.  Not even pretty dangles are taking my mind off what's gone on these last two weeks. There's a meltdown coming, I feel it.

Nineteen seconds to meltdown

Nothing like staggering in with a meagre breakfast and black coffee to find an email from Miss O'Dyne and she has sent me a cake. Not just any cake but a Maraschino cherry cake with fluffy cherry frosting. I drooled, probably would have drowned if it had had whipped cream on the side.

I have a new phone, $54, with additional handset for the study and 67 pages of instructions on how to use it. Apparently it was my fault with the phone. The last time I tripped a over t, I detached a wire inside which was shorting out all the other phones. Now all I have to do is work out how to make the thing go ring ring instead of sounding like a air raid siren. 

The computer is another creature altogether. In March 2010, I had it upgraded to 1gb of memory but the whole thing is not powering up as it should. I'm saving it for emails and banking and just managed to do online shopping by a whisker before it tanked last night. So now looking at new towers, not laptops. I like my desktop, in the study and when it's turned off that's it, I walk away otherwise I'd be at it all night.

Mother, well, mother is not doing too well.  She had an x-ray this morning and tomorrow, pathology and an ECG. Thank you Doc Marvin who set up an in house service for all of this so residents wouldn't have to go and wait in hospitals anywhere.  Her heart is not beating fast enough to get the fluid out of her lungs, she has a pressure sore that is not healing, the cellulitis in the leg is still building up for a breakout and she has tremors in both arms so bad so threw lemonade over the idiot Tea-boy on Monday.  In other words, she's cactus but today is her 84th birthday and she made it, just like she said she would. I had organized something for Saturday but I must cancel as she is too ill and tired for people.  She would say no, but I'm not falling for that. Of course she could fool us again and survive and if she does, then she really does deserve the label of "Terminator".

Twenty-three and a half seconds to meltdown

My computer is about to fry itself so I thought I had better get a post up while the posting is still going.  My landline is not fixed even after a visit to Telstra on Tuesday.  I do have a work order number which won't do any good at all unless they're on the doorstep. It was worth the visit to see the frustration on the Telstra drone's face as he tried to access the call centre which is somewhere half way up a mountain in the Hindu Kush.  He finally got through then was put on hold while they traced the work number.  I smiled sweetly and said, "annoying isn't it."  I won't be smiling tomorrow when I hit the joint running.

I was early to  the Home on Tuesday for the Chinese lunch.  I usually see mother in the afternoon and my sister sees her in the morning so how that stupid bitch didn't notice the tremors in mum's arms, from fingertips to shoulder I don't know. She just said she never looks at her, fckn brilliant.
I yelled at carer, nurse and unit manager and demanded it was put in her file immediately. Doc Marvin was in the next day and he yelled louder than I did. Not one word was in the file about the nut job in the other bed not letting mum get any sleep but the tremors were in. Good ole Doc, couldn't do anything about the roomie but he could do something about her doctor and he did.
She was there today, asked two questions, stayed five minutes and left. Some doctor!
The tremors are caused by too much ventolin but he can't drop the dose until her lungs are clear and he's ordered more antibiotics.  Apparently he could be heard even with the office door shut and the new Unit Manager knows what a real doctor can do.  

Doc Marvin was worried because he'd never seen mum look so down. Usually they chat about what she's doing or what dvd she's watching and that's how he assesses her general health. She didn't tell him that half the trouble was not being able to get in touch with me by phone. She feels isolated when she's not feeling well, something I think I've finally got through to stupid bloody sister. She still won't go down for more than half an hour though, can't think of anything to say to mum. 

There'll be things said tomorrow at Telstra.  Five big vans went past the house this morning plus the garbage trucks.  I checked where the bins where and where the phone line was and unless I walked way down the other end of the nature strip with heavy bins then it was going to be hit and miss with the garbage truck catching the line.  So the dvd viewer has fried itself, the computer is going and the phone has gone, so far. To round things out nicely, I couldn't get the lid of the vegemite for breakfast, I can't get the lid off the chutney or the lid off the pickles.  Bright spot was having 10 big Rosellas in the apple tree this morning. I'd put a photo up but I don't want to overload the geriatric CPU. If I don't post, you all know what's happened. 

Apparently the state of the economy is all my fault.

Yes, because I'm obese, old, medically unsound and I have a pension.  There now, you have someone to focus on instead of the shit government currently in power.
1.  When I worked I paid taxes. I still pay tax via the GST.
2.  When I worked, women didn't get superannuation.
3.  When I stopped work, I was helping the shouse rat ex up the corporate ladder.
4.  I raised two kids who paid tax.
5.  Getting old was always going to happen.
6.  Getting fat stopped me from having a nervous breakdown and clogging up the pysch hospitals.
7.  Medically unsound is in the eye of the beholder and her doctor.
8.  When the pension age of 65 was designated as 'the age', the average poor bloody worker was dead by 55. Bastards knew what they were doing even back then.
9.  I've had a crap week and the next person who comes out blaming obese old medically unsound pensioners will get a thump over the head with a large club.
10. Smile, it could be worse, us old obese medically unsound pension demanding fogeys could be shipped off to Manus Island as undesirables.

And the Telstra mongrels have not fixed my landline which has been off for nearly a week. They are aware of the problem, Yea!  I was on my neighbour's phone for 40 minutes waiting for the Peter Sellers Call Centre listening to the most appalling muzak before I heard a human voice.  He took all my details and said he would check details and be right back.  Black holes in the Universe opened and swallowed stars while I waited another 20 minutes. Then a robot asked me if I was satisfied with the help I'd had and could I press a number from zero to one to indicate my pleasure. When I pressed zero, the robot said why wasn't I happy?  Because I was still standing there hanging on to a bloody phone waiting for an answer. The robot hung up. 
My neighbour (no, not hernextdoor) made a cup of coffee and I sat down and knew it was a mistake, I do not do well sitting six inches from the floor.  Getting up gave her the best laugh she'd had all week but I did not fall on my backside, I was too frightened to.
My shoulders are almost right but the left hip took quite a belting in the storm on Thursday night. I should have started this with.....It was a dark and stormy night...because it was when the transformer blew two houses down the street. In the pitch dark I missed the door way and whacked into the door frame as I went for the torch. There were lots of four letter sailor type words and limping, lots of limping.
And because everything was on when the power went off, I had to stay up for it to come back on so I could turn it all off.
I read a book with a torch on my shoulder.  I couldn't see what the candle on the mantle was doing, same as all the others I thought. Not with my luck, the wick had leaned sideways, put a hole in the wax which was melting down the mantle, down my string of gold stars and on to my holograph picture of a wizard and the carpet.  By this stage the four letter vocabulary was exhausted and it was too late to drink Gin.
See, not only obese, medically unsound, old, pensioner but boozer with a foul mouth. I may have just set a new bench mark for entrance to Manus, or Parliament.

Join me in the pain party

I found this and couldn't resist posting it. He hasn't been around much so I'm thinking that Rochester is holed up in a green tree somewhere composing more poetry or singing to the birds. He'd have to sing, there's no room in there for a piano.

I am in pain. It's taken me days to realize why I'm in pain and how stupid it is to do things when I'm old that I didn't even think about when I wasn't.  All those 40 degree days, surely they're over now, but to keep the house cool I would pull all the blinds right down, shut doors to rooms and generally it worked. But at night I would have to get the blind up in my room to open the window. And there is the problem, stupid ex with his heavy hand managed to destroy every spring in all the rollers blinds in the house. I did replace one or two until nobody knew what a roller blind was let alone the spring. 
So I'm standing on tiptoe and rolling up the blinds by hand. Wasn't difficult a few years back but we didn't have too many unholy temperature days in a row and I was taller then. I've shrunk a few inches. Blind in the bedroom is 10 feet long in old money, lounge still has a spring and is 12 feet, hallway, no spring is 8 feet, kitchen, no spring 6 feet, second bedroom, no spring, 8 feet but I just shut that door. The study I fixed up ages ago by putting up drapes and cutting the roller blind to the roller and threading the lace curtain on to that which fitted inside the window.
I've stretched beyond limits, anything and everything that connects my shoulders to my neck and spine. Fortunately I didn't tear anything beyond repair. That would have been real pain so once I figured out the cause it was Panadol every four hours and lots of moaning, snivelling and sobbing.  All those great things one can do aloud when living alone. But I still couldn't work out why, once it calmed down, the pain would grab again. Bingo, don't let a cold fan blow across hurting things since they'll go into spasm and start pain rage all over again.  It's quiet now but I think I've possibly given my liver major damage since I always forget if the four hours since the last pills are actually up.

And to top it off the cat got mugged.  I didn't hear a cat fight or scream but then I had shovelled a couple or more of sleeping pills down. He was covered in filth, not sand when I brushed him down but sandy grease so I presume he hid under the car. I found that out when I was operating on him on my white doona cover but brave little lamb let me cut away the fur to see the damage. Well, something with a very big gob put two fangs into his shoulder and two directly opposite under his armpit ? legpit ? I think the chomp on the bone hurt more than anything else and the wounds are clean. He's had his calming water brushed into his fur and his calming drops in food and now he's grounded. He can go out in the morning but night time is barred, consequently after all my gentle treatment, he's not speaking to me. 

Now a whine about hernextdoor and her concept of personal space. I rarely get inside her front door, usually I'm borrowing something from husband's realm in the garage and dressed in my household rags and looking like a bag lady. Still, this morning I'd been up, fed the beast, put the washing machine on which didn't go on, power outage so I went back to bed and warmed up the hurting back. I heard the front gate creak, which is why I don't oil it, cheap alarm system. I thought it probably was the BOH and some one did come in the back door, that's right in the back door through the lounge to the light switch, not put her hand round the open back door and try the outside light switch but through my house. She didn't want to disturb me, she says. If I had done that to her she would have had me on trespass charges.  Karma's a bitch, she has an all electric house and the electricity didn't come back on until midday and it had been off since 2 a.m.. I hope she was gasping for a cuppa and had a cold shower.

The weather is so delightful...not

 My dear blogmates, I've been thinking of you baking all day and I think you should all come to my place for a pool party. My pilot will pick you up and take you home. You'll be in no condition to drive or fly yourself.

 I've had the pool room cleaned and set up for afternoon tea, dinner and a little supper.

 Don't bring a thing. I've got the swim togs all sorted for our sizes, shapes and whatever.

 And of course, our Andrew, you know how he likes to put on a show. Memo to self, make sure he leaves the real and expensive ruby behind when he leaves.

 Oh, darlings, Pink Champagne is sooo last century. We're having Blanc de Bleu, to match the pool of course.

 And there'll be ice-cream. I've had the $1,000.00 Golden Sundaes flown in from Manhatten.

And there'll be cakes. They have to be petite cakes, after a few glasses of Blanc de Bleu, you elegant lot always have trouble feeding your faces.
Get ready, there'll be a knock on the door any moment now.
Oh, gosh, we'll have fun.

No, I didn't think these up but I could have

Now this is an ace idea except for the grass growing up between the rocks and looks like it might need weeding which is not in my job description. But around the water meter, great, since S.E.Water practically buried the Tap and meter last time hernextdoor's water pipe burst. Probably would look neat hanging off the back of the Kombi, the VW and the Falcon.

 I immediately thought of River when I saw this. I know you love bright colours and have a small garden but just right for this caterpillar. I'm not sure about glow in the dark paint for this, kind of creepy/spooky but wow for Halloween.

 Now Elephant's Child, this is definitely ours. It has steps, canopy, lanterns aromatherapy candles and bubbles. I don't see a stubby holder though, still if we can afford this, we can afford the butler bringing out the Bombay Sapphire and in the good crystal glasses. No champagne, enough bubbles in the spa and I get giggly and drownable on champagne.

And for all four of us, the garden retreat for the reading of books, gossiping, pinning on Pinterest, blogging and eating cake, especially eating cake. This would sit neatly between my apple tree and lemon tree. I can't tell you how badly I want this garden delight and everything in it. I believe the spa would go beside it and we could wander back and forth, the forth would probably be very zigzag so the glow in the dark rocks will come in handy.
And since how government thinks that pensioners are on a good wicket, we should be able to afford the lot.
Up yours Abbott!

Just a little hate in the heat

There is no way to say anything pleasant about this vile Federal government we have been landed with.
In one breath they rant on about dole bludgers and in the next they are putting thousands of workers on the scrap heap.
They are dumping tonnes of crap on the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park for a harbour to take ships big enough to haul off the coal which they say is not causing "What Climate Change".
Now they are trying to get World Heritage listing of forests in Tasmania changed so they can let the loggers back in. But it's okay they're giving Cadbury's 16 million bucks to boost tourism so Tassie won't lose out.
And the State governments aren't much better.  Shark culling, really brilliant. So far only small and may I say, not to bright, sharks have been caught and released. The sharks they have shot, they've taken out to sea and dumped. Oh, come on down, really big sharks and take the bait.
Our ABC, the one we pay for is coming in for a belting for being biased in their reporting of what this government is doing. I can't see how they can say that when they bloody well won't tell the people anything about anything they are doing. We can't even call ourselves mushrooms since they won't even feed us bullshit. 
Okay so by-election coming up in Kevvie's seat of Griffiths (see that Julie Bishop, even I can get it right) and I feel for the Liberal who believes he can just walk off with the prize. People get out there and let Abbott know he'd better start looking at what's under his nose, a great big dislike and it's growing.

One of THOSE weeks

This is what I looked like this morning, all empty with hair.  Three ice packs last night to stop the legs going into spasms, lots of groaning and swearing when I had the legs fixed, the back went. The knee is swollen from the bus steps and trying to get into new taxis that have a board too high to slide the feet inside. It's now lift and swing including the two bags I'm usually carrying. Put having to use the gnome sized toilets at Southland into the mix plus up and down and up and down for things mother wanted done, I should have know to whack on the ice as soon as I staggered in the back door. 
But my diabetes and cholesterol are under control considering what a mess they were this time last year. Triglicerides are up but I've been  missing my Omega-3 fish oil a bit so now it's one a day for the next 6 months to see if it makes a difference. That and exercise which doesn't figure a lot in my life but we are now trying a third fluid tablet to help the legs and feet. The other two were too strong and made me feel very unwell after 3 or 4 days. My kidneys are fine though. We just won't talk about the elephant in the room which is me.
So now it's February and it's been a year since I heard from my eldest granddaughter. I presume she made it back from Europe okay. Next week she will  be, if I've done my sums right, 21 years old. I still remember every minute of the day she was born like it was yesterday.  I suppose I will have to email her other grandparents and find out what they are doing for her birthday, down here or in Queensland. There's no way I will contact her Queen Bitch of the Universe of a mother to ask. I don't usually hold a grudge but with her, the grudging will be forever. It doesn't matter that I know why she did what she did, a grudge is the least I can do when I'm not the type to hit someone over the head with a blunt object. I don't talk to her, I don't think about her, she does not exist in my world, she exists only in my grudging.
She is why I don't keep in touch with my girls, it only gets them into trouble. They email or ring when they can so I never push them. They know where I live, I've let them go and they've come back, they always will.

The Magic lingers

I had a really good laugh out of this.
What do you mean, "What is it?"
Anyone can see it's the Hogwarts pony,
Harry Klopper.

Let them eat cake but not this kind

What else to do on  a stinking hot afternoon than wander through the web looking at shoes and jewells and cakes, lots of cakes.  I had a real laugh out loud at that wedding cake up top. Considering my marriage, this cake should have been centre stage all the way. Come to think of it, it would make perfect divorce celebration eating. 
 

But this cake, a giant life- size unicorn birthday cake. Life-size with a huge cut out chunk of technicolour innards. Here, child, come and get your slice of unicorn cake, which part would you like me to cut into with this huge knife? I can't understand some people. I would have been traumatized for life, in fact, I probably should have put up a warning for Miss O'Dyne with her love of horses. I am gobsmacked at the thought of 20 or so munchkins all waiting for the slaughter of the innocent. It would make a great script for "Castle", soccer mom cuts into the belly of the beast and out rolls a real body instead of that garish cake. How does one get cake to be that colour anyway? Great way to turn kiddies into vegetarians on the spot.

No trouble with cutting into this Cinderella Wedding cake unless you forget the slipper and end up with a gob full of glass. If I ditched the shoe and the castle, it would be the perfect cake for me, a chandelier cake. I love cake and I love chandeliers and there's no rule that says you have to be married to have a wedding cake or a chandelier. I love this cake. I want this cake.

One thing here is not like the others

Actually the only thing here is not what you think. Dear Miss O'Dyne always thinking of me. I've  said so many times that mother wouldn't shuffle off until she can take me with her and another week of 40 degree heat should do it.
So thank you Annie O for finding me the perfect coffin, a pink ballet shoe and with satin ties, divine. And I would like the entire male corps de ballet to carry me out.

Neat stuff

 Now next hard rubbish collection I'm going to be looking for one of these. It's an old hand basin covered with colourful mosaics and filled with water for a bird bath. The taps are still there for any bird to sit on to dry and ruffle feathers. It's bonkers brilliant.

 

Now I've forgotten what guys do in toilets besides spilling on the floor while not putting the seat down but ladies, we think a lot.  And while thinking it helps to do something like toilet paper origami. I presume it's done off the roll but imagine a bloke walking in and being confronted with a delicate hand made rose, just sitting there. There'd be a few brain cells dying from exhaustion until he figured it out and gently removed it then put it back like he'd never been in there.

I think I emailed everyone I know with my next trick except maybe HighRiser.  I've already tried this and it works. Put drops of essential oil or if you're cheap, use the stuff from the $2 Emprorium, into the middle of the toilet roll cardboard.  Everytime the roll rolls round, the perfume wafts out. My lavender lavatory is a joy.

22 days gone

Isn't he gorgeous, he's a Winter Wren and has nothing to do with this post but I needed a dose of cuteness, a large dose.
22 days into 2014 and I have done nothing at all.  The things to do list is still on the fridge door and probably will be there on 24th December.  The stinking weather and mother had a lot to do with the lethargy.  All I can see before me is more 2013.
She rings and the dvd viewer is fritzed. I get another at Dick Smith, same brand but things have changed in four years and now there is no on/off switch at the side. It's near the menu, push once for on, push, hold for 2 seconds for switch off. There's also a stop for just stopping the dvd and you just know she's going to use that all the time and the thing will never be charged up. That's another problem, the charger has a cord that is half the length of the previous charger so now I have (note that 'I') to buy a small extension cord so it can be plugged in and go under the bed and I won't have to worry about the charging. I've already got to take back the clock to the shop and have the man reset all the buttons since one of the carers picked it up, not by the sides but the top and pressed all the buttons together and fritzed that.  The CD/radio fritzed, but my old tape deck/radio is doing the job and sounds a lot better than the other.
I huffed and puffed in yesterday to find my sister sitting on her duff and taking me to task for my lousy breathing which, considering what I was carrying, I thought wasn't that bad. I'd been up hill and down dale at Southland looking for a viewer so had that plus two bags full of mum's stuff. I'll really have to punch her one day.
So I haven't blogged about the 53 children Paramedics rescued from cars last week.
I haven't blogged about being right about Abbott speaking like a robot. His speech was analyzed by someone with too much time on their hands and it has slowed down quite a lot from his pitbull days in Opposition. Her, I think it was a her, said he'd obviously had voice coaching and now sounded as boring as Julia.
I haven't blogged about our wonderful Navy who can't seem to navigate the ocean without blundering into someone else's territory.  Sorry won't cut it matey, not when technology can pin point an Admiral picking his nose on a cruiser's sun deck. Get with it or go back to actual navigating by the sun and stars instead of relying on a gerbil running in a wheel for your computers.
It is my opinion and I have lots, that planes, ships or cars that rely on technology are a hazard to my travelling well being. Look at the film "Independence Day", the aliens would have won if everyone had forgotten morse code so phasing out manual navigation, morse code and pilots who can fly is really a bad idea. I shudder every time I see that ad where the woman parks the car with no hands.
I'm not wanting to go right back to horse and buggy days, lordy can you imagine the horse shit but then 'work for the dole' would have a whole new department but  basic 'stuff' should never be forgotten.
That includes leaving kids and dogs in cars in the heat or at any other time. Dogs and kids are smart, push button start in cars means the little beasts could be heading for someone else's territorial waters before you can say 'Morrison is slime'.

That Sinatra song

You know the one, it's something o'clock and there's no-one in the place except you and me. 
It came to mind as I'm sitting here at 2 in the morning laughing hysterically at that cat jumper.
It must be the heat.  The cat is in the lounge just below fan height, I'm in the study with fan and shortly must try to sleep with the fan on in the bedroom. The front door is open but the smell of smoke is wafting in. I barely slept last night, put the air-con on this morning and fell asleep in the chair over breakfast. I don't know how I sleep sitting up without drifting to one side or the other and breaking my neck. 
I have been watching tv ads for 'back to school' and wondering how I survived with no water bottle, lunch pack with ice cooler, large hat and some one to drive me to school. I don't know why my generation hasn't all ended up with kidney failure when we only got to drink out of the communal fountains, before class, morning break, lunch and afternoon break. If you were at the back of the line and the bell went, bad luck, it was back to the classroom of no air-con just heat exhaustion.
The joy of a paper bag full of curling sandwiches, hot oranges or browning apples. If I missed the bus it was a hell of a walk home unless I took the short cut over the railway lines which I frequently did. See what this heat is doing, making me relive all the hideous days of my life. 
I really should print out that cat jumper and cart it around with me tomorrow, at least that is making me laugh.