I HATE/LOVE MY COMPUTER

The things I do to keep my visitors happy. RH, will this one do? I know how exacting your standards are.

The hamster who lives inside this machine and keeps the wheels turning obviously had a bad day and decided to take it out on me. Outlook Express won't accept my gmail password so I'm going to have to do it all again and again and again until the hamster gets it right. I will not surrender!!! I wish I could drink. I have drugs, I think I'll go and take those.

POVERTY STRICKEN CAT OWNER

The poor receptionist at the vet's had never seen such a convoluted way of paying an account.
Some cash, one credit card at the desk, one credit card over the phone. All the family chipped in to get the cat out of hock. Is he grateful? Hasn't spoken to me in four hours. He checked the mohair, filthy look because I'd washed it. Checked the tennis balls, filthy look because I'd piled them in a pyramid. Toured his garden domain, filthy look because the vet clipped his claws and he couldn't dig a deep enough hole. As if half way to China wouldn't do instead of straight through to the centre of the earth, I mean he's not an elephant and he never puts the dirt back anyway.

Just as I was congratulating myself on my computer skills, latest is setting up gmail, I found out I'd emailed myself. Pride goeth and all that. I've ditched NineMSN which I hate but kept hotmail which is just as bad but I'm going to put that on the blog as soon as I figure out how not to crash everything. Everything is installed and uninstalled. I may start signing myself 'N' the rest of the 'erd' will follow in good time. I even joined Library thing.

The book meme has certainly done the rounds and my prize for best answer came from Boysenberry. His answer to one book you wished had never been written.......Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard or is it Ron L. (for loopy). Apologies to all the 'ologists' out there, give it up, you'll go blind.

I'm now going to risk life and limb by giving the cat his antibiotic. It's liquid, comes in a little syringe which goes in the side of his mouth. So simple says the vet. If I was getting that much money I'd find it simple too.

STILL FIGHTING 'HAL' BUT WINNING

The things I do for my commentors. Sorry RH, this is the best tart I could come up with at short notice but she's got red hair. Mine used to be that long but one gets old and things fall off or out. Now if you had asked for a bloke, I've got plenty of those but you had to be difficult.

The computer is still playing games with me. Norton is fighting with ZoneAlarm. I've turned off AVG so the spammers are out in force again. Poor dears, when are they going to realize I don't need another 12 inches. I need an anti-gravity hold everything off my feet bra. I will resume the 'pooter tussles tomorrow.

That's after I take the cat to the Vet. He hasn't eaten in days except for a few licks of ice-cream. I'm hoping it's just a wonky tooth and not something more serious. I'm still paying off the mortgage on the last cat. This is the last pet ever. I'm supertitsious, sorry freudian slip there, on the other hand I am rather supertitsious but I did mean supertitsious. It's not me it's Hal, he was always one for the boobs, stupid computer. You know what I mean, the thing about black cats and not walking under ladders so I won't put the kitty litter away because the minute I do, some stray furball will be in under the gate. That sounds a bit callous, I mean this one is still with me. Blame Hal, he doesn't like cats, boobs yes, cats no.

MY TODAY

Pilot praised for emergency landing4:50 PM August 25
The flying school owner whose plane made an emergency landing at Moorabbin airport in Melbourne this morning says the pilot did an outstanding job.
The twin-engine Beechworth, carrying pilot Brad Lacey and his 24-year-old student, came down on only its rear wheels around 11:00am AEST.
Mr Lacey had been forced to circle the airport for around an hour to burn off fuel after discovering he could not lower the nose wheel.


I watched this through the study window while I waited for the downloading.
Straight over my roof, sharp bank to the right and down.
I thought at the time, cutting it a bit fine mate.
He had a whole ritzy golf course to land in and he missed my house.

DUMP THIS WEEK INTO LIMBO

It's been a craptacular week. I'm taking deep breaths, listening to Rachmaninov and looking at Henry. Blood pressure is returning to nearly normal. It would have been normal if I hadn't posted Henry with pants half undone. I have other photos, he has a better package than the JTwit at BB06.

I can't even remember how I started the week or whether it was sunny or raining. I was on the phone again, playing with my little chums at AGL who can't seem to get it straight about direct debits. They're the ones where the money comes out of my bank account not the one where I take your stupid plastic cards to pay at the post office. Are you going to get it right before September? Letter arrives yesterday and says everything is fine except it doesn't mention DD again. I'll ring next Monday when I've replenished my vocabulary.

Monday is also when I find out the doctor hasn't sent the letter to ACAS for Mummsy to be assessed (seems to be too many s's in that like stressed). Finally get him yesterday and he didn't write it because he thought she looked so well. Of course she looked well, prat, she'd been in hospital and you hadn't been looking after her for 24 hours. Using my nice voice, the one that doesn't rip throats out, I explained how long it takes for the team to come, anything from six weeks, if you write urgent, to eight weeks if you're dumb enough not to write urgent. The paper work has to be in place if she goes downhill suddenly and she can fall in a hole very quickly. He had been on holidays and forgotten to renew her script for Morphine as well. All in all, not a good afternoon for him.

Tuesday I try to transfer credits from my mobile to my sister's. I might as well apologize to everyone who works at a call centre, as much as I hate you, you probably hate dumbarses like me too. As much as Optus might say they don't use call centres in other countries, I got an operator who was channelling Peter Sellars underwater in Mumbai. Who remembers passwords for mobile money exchanges? She gave me a new one, it came on the phone when I was on the computer. The phone was in my bag, three rooms away.

I activated Phone and Internet banking, not. For two days the website wouldn't accept my request for a password, on the third day it did. I bet it was the same call centre. I can hear them now, "It's that stupid tart again, the one who can't manage passwords. Let's annoy her for a few days." Well you did a fine job and all to find out my balance was $4.35 and we won't discuss the balance of my credit card which they've obviously mistaken for the GDP of New Zealand.

Now for the techno thrill part of my week. The website that offers to do a virus scan and if it finds any, you get to pay them money to clean it up. This wasn't even what I went to the site for but the word 'free' got my attention. The words ' sixteen infected files' got me the heart attack. I managed to manually clean out most of them. I went to places in this computer I didn't know existed and probably don't after I've flat-footed through them. Sod the little hackers, why don't they get laid. So decided to run Spybot after that and guess what company had just put 16 pieces of spyware on my machine. Batsardss.

Today has been downloading a new firewall which locked me out of my home page because I forgot to give it permission to let me in. What am I, a mind reader? I am now downloading a new anti-virus programme which, on dial-up, only has another hour to go. One day, someone will find a wizened skeleton hunched over this keyboard waiting for another download. If little Yankee Sol wants to be canonized as St. Sol then give us your ill-gotten bonus so we can all have broadband, you carpetbagger.

Anything else, of course, the cat's sick. He wants to eat but can't. I've opened six cans of food and he sits there looking at it. I thought I'd shock him into sensibility by bringing the cat cage in. He's conscious again now but still not eating. I explained to him nicely that I could look in his mouth to see what was wrong. He just as nicely bit the crap out of me. It's okay, I feel like having a beer so it can't be rabies.

Did I have any luck at all this week? I got 3 numbers in Ozlotto, no prize. I walked to mother's and didn't fall over, that doesn't count because of where I was going. The taps are still leaking. The spouting's still leaking. I forgot to put the garbage out. BUT and a big BUT (no, not mine) hidden behind the icepacks (for my big butt) was a carton of triple fudge chocolate icecream. There is no joy like finding a carton of triple fudge chocolate icecream that I'd forgotten was there. I should save it for Sunday but it's been a craptacular week.

RUG UP

Rug Up for Winter, funny saying when spring is so close. Actually it is an organisation set up by Gay men to get the message out that 'rugging up' with a condom is taking action to help prevent HIV infection.

HIV infections have risen, in Victoria in 2005, by 28%. Is it because gay men no longer see their friends dying around them week by week? Is it because with every new treatment, they no longer see HIV as a death threat? Is the safe sex message not getting to the next generation of gay teens?

RugUp wants Gay men to take responsibility for their own health as well as their partners, mates and, I might as well say it, fuck buddies. They have a three point plan for men to commit to.
1. Use a condom every time you have casual anal sex between lst July and 30th September.
2. Have a sexual health check-up. (simple tests for gonorrhoea, syphilis, chlamydia and HIV)
3. Talk to your friends about your decision to be part of RugUp and encourage them to join.

So why am I talking about this campaign when I'm not gay or even a man? It's because this type of campaign can easily cross over to the straight male community. Take any 14 to 24 year old group of males and I bet they couldn't name more than one sexually transmitted infection or know what the symptoms are until their balls dropped off.
It also applies to girls in that same age range. There's no reason for girls not to carry their own condoms and insist on their use.
If your current cretin thinks you're a slut for carrying them, leave and never look back, he's not worth the trouble.
A grass roots campaign like RugUp has my support in educating sexually active teens, gay or straight. HIV and STI's don't care about your sexual orientation.

THE MEME I'VE TRIED TO AVOID

One book that changed your life or One book that changed my view of life.

The Sea Around Us and Silent Spring by Rachel Carson.
She made me look at the natural world with eyes wide open.

And the Band Played On and Conduct Unbecoming by Randy Shilts.
Introduced me to the politics of AIDS and the hypocrisy of the US military.

Woman as Revolutionary. Edited by Frederick Giffen and published in 1973 when it was all starting.
I picked it up at a sale for $2.05 and will keep it for my granddaughters.

Childhood's End by Arthur C. Clarke.
My first science fiction and introduction to the idea of race memory.

One book you have read more than once

Once a favourite always a favourite so it's Lovejoy Antiques and Harry Potter.
(memo to self: berate ABC shop for not releasing Lovejoy on DVD)

One book you would want on a desert island

A large encyclopedia with a section on how to survive on a desert island.......and maybe a sub-section on how to make a bloke from a rib.

One book that made you laugh

Adolf Hitler, My Part in His Downfall by Spike Milligan and the three that came after.
(successfully hidden in the ceiling at the Blight's departure)

One book you wish had been written

The Elimination of War by the Outbreak of Peace.

One book you wish had never been written

Black Beauty.
A monster of a book to give to a child with a vivid imagination. I can still see poor Ginger dying on the road after being flogged by the cruel driver. I sobbed for days. I refuse to read animal books or see animals films.

One book you are currently reading

A View From the Diner's Club by Gore Vidal and several others in various parts of the house.

One book you have been meaning to read or one book you hope to be able to read one day.

The Downfall of Religious Influence on Australian Political Policy.

Julia Gillard, A review of her Ten Years as Prime Minister.

There's nothing in the meme rules about the books having to be written or published already.

MY TREASURES

Oops, loaded the wrong photo but I might as well leave it and let you look. My mother, who taught me everything I don't know about saving money, bought this for me. It wasn't a present, it was because it was $40 off the rrp and according to her, that's reason enough.

I think it didn't sell because the boxes are tall, narrow and not very deep. Apart from the 'where in the hell am I going to hang that', I had to think of something to put in it. A visit to my favourite shop which now is selling things for more than $2 and I had the perfect vision. Tall narrow picture metal frames which I covered with dacron and burgundy velvet (hope I never have to repair the dress) and some of my jewells. If anyone wants to rob the place, it's okay, I just paid the insurance.

Putting up the box was an experience in patience and perserverance, neither of which I have.
I finally worked out that the hangers had to be done for one side only and then measure up for the other. It is level, my builders level sat on top for the entire operation. There were a few more holes than I anticipated on a few more walls than I'd hoped for but half a bag of polyfil took care of that. Mix up a bit of water colour from the paint box and anyone who notices has bad manners.

The good thing is, I can take the jewells off and wear them. The bad thing was trying to remember it was on the wall for about two months. Two months of walking into it in the dark.
Still doing that, stood up from the bookcase yesterday and hit myself right between the shoulder blades. It didn't move a centimetre off centre so all that swearing paid off.

DUCKS

Next time a lady of your acquaintance says she's getting bread to feed the ducks, read this http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world/story/0,,1769387,00.html and think twice.

Shut up nitpickers, you know I can't work out how to hide all this under one word.

NATIONAL DAY OF ACTION

Some great photos from the National Day of Action on Sunday. My red dress will keep for next year and Andrew will keep me company instead of going to the football. Mind you, I'd have had to skip the walk down Bourke Street. I've done that once this year and I know my limits.

Congratulations to the Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby for all the hard work. And if God didn't like queers it would have rained all day but look at that beautiful sunshine. The VGLRL estimates 2000 people met on the steps of Parliament House.

THE HOUSE MOTTO

I love it, definitely the house motto. I needed a laugh after dealing with AGL gas, AGL electricity, Melbourne Water and the insurance company. Two solid hours on the phone. If Yankie Sol ever suggests bringing in timed phone calls I will personally put him on a leaky boat to nowhere.

SOME THINGS HARDLY CHANGE AT ALL

The cartoons above are from a book called '2001 An Aussie Odyssy' and it was published in 1984. I've scanned a few and will post them and probably owe someone royalties. Twenty-two years on and even the political ones are still relevent.
I came across the book when I bashed my shin on a pile of them sticking out from the bottom of the bookcase. They've only been like that for the last two years but they've never caused damage to the shin before. My mistake, I moved the very large antique picture frame that was sitting in front of that particular spot. This frame is prepared for gilding and crackling and somewhere is the board to go in it and somewhere else are the cut out photos for the decoupage to go on the board. It will be one of those projects I can take to the nursing home.
Anyway the books were a lovely way to waste an afternoon. Gary Larsen's 'Farside', 'Wizard of Id' and a small treasury of 'Flash Filstrup' with his favourite Mackintosh. (not a computer)
They belonged to the Blight but I figured that after seeing his Blonde, he'd lost his sense of humour so I hid them when he left.
I'm thinking of having one of Larsen's cartoons blown up and nailed to my front door since it sums up the inside of this house completely. I'll have to post that one, it's a favourite.

12 THINGS THAT KEEP ME ALIVE MEME

Being able to go to the marriage rally would have been big on that list. Kudos to the ABC for giving it good coverage. Kudos to the weather angels for a beautiful day. Everybody wearing red was also great.

I've been sleeping in the afternoons like an old lady. I should be relaxed enough now but I'm not getting the blood pressure taken for another couple of weeks, when the bills are paid.

I liked this meme from Ampersand Duck and it looked so easy. Wrong! It took me a while until I got the first one but it might have been the crappy mood I was in. I was in a much better place by the time I got down to number 12.

1. Easy to say anything to do with the sea but there's one place that really does it for me. 'The Crags' are about 12kms west of Port Fairy. The sea is never smooth. The colours of the rocks, the sky and the water are always changing.

2. Butterflies. We so rarely see clouds of them in the 'burbs these days that watching one is a treat.

3. Clouds. So many varieties. Sometimes 3 or 4 in one section of sky, always moving and changing.

4. Paper. All of it. Machine made, hand made, embossed, watermarked, white or buff, gold edged, unlined, luxuriously heavy. I hoard it like a miser hoards gold.

5. Fountain pens and ink. I like slim pens with very fine nibs. I love deep burgundy ink.

6. Beads. Glass beads. Lampwork beads. Large, small, faceted, smooth, plain or irridescent.

7. Music that has memory. Music that pulls an image from your mind you thought had disappeared forever.

8. The perfume of flowers. Boronia on a warm summer night. Orange blossoms after rain. Roses at anytime. Freesias in spring. Walking through a cloud of gardenia. Lavender on the cat when he's been sleeping under the bush.

9. Books of all types. But I'm in love with coffee table books. Smooth glossy pages of photographs, history, jewells, places, fashions, too big and luscious to hold without two hands.

10. Finding a note or a card in my son's handwriting. Writing reveals so much and changes over a life time and I have so little of him on paper.

11. Hugs. Hello hugs, comfort hugs, 'oh you fool' hugs, goodbye hugs, children's hugs or a tiny paw hug from the cat.

12. Laughter. Rolling on the floor, stitch in the side, damn, I've wet myself laughter.

I'M IN NEED OF A WARM HOLIDAY

Once again I'm not supposed to be sitting at a computer. I am supposed to be resting, well I'm sitting down, good and I'm not reading the news, better. Somebody has a blood pressure problem. It's just a little bit high. I'm sure the sharp pains in the head aren't related to it. Probably some other problem I haven't sussed out yet.

So because I won't take medication for something that's only stress related, it's rest and no stress. No thinking about Mother, stray cats, politics and no outing to the city on Sunday. I've had it too long for the gas bill to cause it, oh my lord, the gas bill. It bookends with the 'oh my lord, the electricity bill' and sits on a shelf made of the 'oh my lord, the house insurance'. Oops, heart rate is rising, pains in the head are making my eyes water.

So I rested, in bed, with the phone and two years of bills. I've calculated how much to direct debit each pay based on the two years of loot I've paid to fat corporations. I'm even caving in and getting a phone banking password for the times Mother has me tied up in knots and I can't get to the bank. I'm old fashioned, I pay by cash which apparently is going out of style. I like having the cash in my hand even if it's only for an hour. I refuse to grocery shop online, I'd never find the chocolate specials or the donuts on their last leg and going out for a penny.

So I'm not sitting at this computer, I'm resting, in between phone calls from Mother who wants to know if I feel better. Funny about that, I get pains in the head after she calls, maybe it's the phone.

SUNDAY PLANS

This is where I want to be on Sunday and where I plan to be on Sunday but unless the ice packs and the zapzap unit do their job, I won't make it. I've lost confidence about going into the City again even though it's only across from Parliament station. I went to the rally last year which was the first time I'd been in the CBD for nearly ten years and a big first for me. This year too many trials and too many falls have knocked me around a bit. I've got two days to get into shape and I'll be doing my best to get on a bus and a train. I am woman, watch me whimper.

This is too important not to be there. Last year I saw a lot of loving couples, same sex, big deal. A lot had children, well loved and looked after and more importantly, wanted. That's WANTED to complete a FAMILY not to gain a $3000 baby bonus. There is no valid reason same sex couples shouldn't be able to marry, be civil unioned or partnership registered. The Federal government can shove us into a war involving death unlimited but can't accept that love between two people of the same sex doesn't mean the end of civilization as they know it.

I've sent off my membership renewal to the Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby, actually I have a feeling I've done it twice but call it double the commitment. I want every gay and lesbian teenager to be able to live without fear of being thrown out of home or beaten to a pulp because of the homophobia flowing from the so-called moralists in this country.

ANGEL LORE

Seagulls are the messengers of Angels.

They have to be seen in unusual places or at unusual times.

Ravens are the carriers of Angels.

They carry away the unhappiness in our souls.

There is no black or white, light or dark where Angels are.

KITTEN LOVERS BEWARE

This is Charles Amadeus Mozart B. He's just 6 weeks old and so cute.

This is Charles 4 weeks later. He's already found out that cute will bring rewards like food and more food.

Three years later and HEEEEERE'S CHUCKY! After making gluttony his life style of choice, Charles became an expert on food. How to scrounge, snatch and steal anything that took his fancy. Mum's cupboards still bear the scratches from his claws as he would climb up to where she was carving the Sunday roast. He would have eaten Tom Cruise and the lamb roast. We tried everything to discourage him. The diet food from the vet cost a fortune and when it wasn't enough, he stole from the dog's dish across the road. If we had visitors, we counted the children as they left.

When he finally went to that great litter box in the sky, or in Charles' case that great cat pantry, we had a letter of condolence from the vet for 'the loss of your much loved cat, Charles'. I'm sure they were completely sincere as he was the main contributor to their solvency.

As for cats, today I did a good deed. I have had a tom roaming around the garden for the past week and could that cat howl. Not the normal tom-type screaming but a crying howl which would go on all night. He would get into the house at every opportunity and a little spraying would occur followed by me hosing me out of the yard. He always came back until I couldn't help myself and I fed him. He didn't eat with me there but the bowl was clean so I kept filling it and the cat. He stopped howling for a few hours at a time.

My last two cats were stray toms and very wary of coming near even after feeding them for weeks. Getting them into the cage for that little snip job was murderous, I still have the scars. My beautiful Greystoke actually bit through a vein on my wrist as I was shoving him into the cage. He arrived at the vet covered in blood and they asked when did he have the accident, never mind me fainting from blood loss.

This one was different, walked up purring, let me pick him up, into the cage and that was it. I covered him with a blanket so he wouldn't be frightened in the car and not a peep. The neighbour from next door was very willing to take us to the animal shelter. They'd had as much sleep as me over the last week. The vet said they'd have no trouble finding him a good home as he was so friendly as well as being a beautiful looking cat. He was being tested for feline AIDS and having the snip this afternoon. In two weeks, after his coat is washed and combed, he'll be up for adoption. I'm sorry I don't have enough money to feed two animals or I'd be back.

He was so friendly I'm sure he was a family pet that was either abandoned or not neutered because of the cost. He may have caught the scent of a female and become lost in the chase. I do know that he'll have a chance to go to the family he deserves. I just wish it was mine.

Always buy your animals from a shelter. They've been neutered, vaccinated and micro-chipped and your money helps more animals.

WWP NAILS ONE

World's Worst Photographer finally gets one right. This is my beautiful waterlily camellia which I care for with great diligence, in other words, it takes water from next door's garden, gets the sun for free and sometimes I remember to feed it.

After reading the previous post I thought I'd better get the rake and find 'Moby Dick' under the bed. Bad move, it means going up the side of the house that I usually ignore. I'm sure I was only up there a few months ago, well maybe last summer but when did the hanging gardens of Babylon start sprouting in the spouting? This means a trip up the ladder to check things out (where are you Davo, when I need you) but I didn't make it past the first three steps and I needed two more for a squizz. The flesh was willing but the spirit was weak, it looked a long way to the ground and I didn't have a safety net. I intend to ignore it. The black birds are foraging for food all along there which means there's crawlers and I can't have my black birds going hungry.

The rake worked, one copy of Moby Dick, one synchrotron notebook, one earring I thought I'd lost forever, two empty pill bottles (junkie) and a covey of dust bunnies. Under the bed is clean, I feel so righteous.

MEME THINGY

Go to page 123, read the fifth sentence then write down the next four.

"I started hiking. First, I had to find my way out of the maze of dank old fortifications around the harbour. The limestone-block walls were pitted from the cannonballs that pirates and assorted rebels had fired over the centuries. As I negotiated the narrow lanes between the double walls, whores hissed and grasped at me from the shadows."
Adventures in Ocean Exploration by Robert Ballard.

"Captain Nelson arrived here in 1782, having sailed up the St. Laurence past wooded hills blazing with Autumn colours. It was here that he fell vainly in love with the sixteen-year-old Mary Simpson, daughter of the garrison's provost-marshal, and here that his friend, Alexander Davison, dissuaded him from abandoning his naval career to continue his courtship. Colonel Simpson's stone house is thought to survive among those near the St. Louis Gate in old Quebec. There were compensations for his disapointment in love: "Health, that greatest of blessings, is what I never truly enjoyed till I saw Fair Canada", he wrote." (the one-eyed, one-armed little shagmeister started early, practise for Emma Hamilton)
From the Nelson Companion, edited by Colin White.

"He was shocked to see how Nixon raged about him, called him a "simpering asshole". Baker felt like a voyeur reading Nixon's fury. "Baker will not be in this office again - do you understand that?" Nixon told Haig on July 12, 1973. "Never, never, never!"
From Shadow, Five Presidents and the Legacy of Watergate by Bob Woodward.

I know it's only supposed to be one book but I'm reading all three of them although I wasn't up to page 123 of Ballard and after reading that I'll be surging ahead to catch up.

Thank you Andrew, between pages 122 and 123 I found my recipe for banana and irish cream pudding and for making me realize what a train wreck my bedroom is. I can't believe that I actually take up this pile every time I make the bed and put it back.

I have a glossary of meterorites, a dictionary of Geology, papers on impact crater collapse, climate and the collapse of Maya civilization, the discovery of the largest crater field in the Gilf Kebir, whether impacts initiate volcanic eruptions, a list of logical fallacies, a breakdown of the Agulhas Currrent, the formation of shatter cones, a thesis on gay racism and its affect on Asian men in HIV social research and The Connoisseur's Guide to Art Nouveau Jewelry.

Also in this mess are my Tarot cards, the Toth deck by Aleister Crowley, the handbook of practical applications fo ancient visual symbols and my deck of Angel Cards. My copy of Moby Dick is under the bed along with my Synchrotron notes which fell there when I turned the mattress. I have to bring the rake in to get them out.

My Christmas presents from my sister are still on the bed with my walkman, tapes, batteries, pens, pencils, box of kleenex and the cat. I tell you there is just no room in my life for a bloke, or there's no room in my bed for a bloke.

I'm supposed to tag 5 people but I'm just going to tag our honourary blogger, RH, you're it.
You can use my comments section and no cheating by using page 123 of your own poems.

SPYCAM

I'm warning you Sedg, if I catch you lurking in the bushes again with the telephoto lens you're going to be missing bits.

You could have waited until I painted the toenails and had the broom re-thatched.

Don't ask about the chook, we're just very good friends.

THE BEAR'S FAREWELL

The dodgy bear has really done it this time.
He's closed down Diogenesian Discourse. The lights are going out all over the blogesphere.

Can't say I blame him, he's an old bear and pissing into the wind is a young bear's game.

I suppose he'll do the decent thing and wander off into the forest to die so he won't be a burden to the tribe er herd um flock, bloody hell what do you call a multitude of bears, besides dangerous.

On his wanders I hope he stumbles across a baby blog that needs a guiding grouch.

After all, it was him that said, "No-one leaves the asylum!"

See you back at the keyboard, furface.

WHERE'S HUBBLE?

This is another great site for you, Link. http://www.n2yo.com

This site merges Google Maps with satellite orbital data to let you track the position of many spacecraft including Hubble.

I hope I can work it better than I can work YouTube.

LETHAL BEAUTY

This was taken from the Age yesterday. It's called a nacreous cloud and like the circumhorizontal arc, very rare but unlike the equally beautiful arc, this is more deadly.

According to Andrew Klekociuk, an atmospheric physicist with the AAD, nacreous clouds are a catalyst that convert chlorofluorocarbons, changing them into forms that can destroy ozone in the presence of sunlight. Nacreous means "mother-of-pearl like".

The clouds form about 20 kilometres up and only when the mercury falls below minus 80 degrees. Weather balloons sent up to the clouds recorded temperatures of minus 87 degrees.

The photographer was Renae Baker, a Bureau of Meteorology officer based at Mawson. At those temperatures I'm happy to just look at her photographs.

CENSUS

Census 2006
Census 2006 happens next Tuesday night right across Australia.There are a couple of important things to consider if you're in a same-sex relationship, especially if you have children. It's all terribly confusing because Federally, our relationships are not recognised at all and non-birth mothers are not legally related to their own children! So, what do we answer for these questions? I've called the Census information line and here's what they've advised.

Question 5: What is the person's relationship to Person 1/Person 2?Definitely tick the De facto partner of Person 1/Person 2. Although we're not recognised Federally as de facto partners, the Census guidelines do include same-sex couples in their de facto definition.

Question 5: What is the person's relationship to Person 1/Person 2? (in relation to children)This one is a little more tricky. The choices you will have to select from in terms of your children are:
Child of both Person 1 and Person 2
Child of Person 1 only
Child of Person 2 only
Brother or sister of Person 1
Unrelated flatmate or co-tenant of Person 1 - please specifyIf you select Child of Person 1 (or 2) only, your family will be counted as being a step-parent family. If you select Child of both Person 1 and Person 2, your family will be counted the same as any other family with two parents.


The above is from a post at http://themuriels.blogspot.com and shows the difficulties of being a same-sex family when bureaucracy is involved.

TRUTH

The first casualty of war is truth.

The second casualty of war is unbiased truth.
Each side or faction has a vested interest in drawing outsiders to their version of events.

The third casualty of war is the door they hide truth behind.
In time truth will tear it apart in order to be heard.

AND I THOUGHT JULY WAS BAD

Today for a birthday treat I let my Mother drive me the rest of the way to insanity. That journey started last night when Jamie won BB06. Nothing against the lad really, I mean he'll probably grow up, find his brain where it fell out of his earhole and hopefully not vote for Howard but my faggot loving self wanted David to win.

Now about me Mummy, the 'let's put it away in a safe spot'phobic. In the last few days I have found two brand new pairs of shoes still in boxes that she didn't remember but she put away in a safe spot. Her wedding and engagement rings in a music box which was okay because the music box was in a safe spot. The anti-biotics disappeared, the bottle labelled, 'do not move from here'(not yet found). The gardner's money in an envelope, labelled 'gardner's money' which was on the mantlepiece ready to be handed to him is now in a safe place (not yet found). The census form has now been recovered from it's safe place ready for Tuesday. I am going to have blood poisoning from the notes on my arm about things that have to be retrieved from their safe places. I'm glad the box of used Christmas cards from 1995 was in a really safe spot.

I haven't got my census form yet. I'm looking forward to having a good read and writing notes to ASIO. A few bloggers this year are deserting The Force and putting down blogging as their religion, a brilliant suggestion. The only thing better would be putting out the census paper as a meme. I hope there's a special section for divorced women to fill out.....name of ex-spouse......name of ex-spouse's tart du jour.

I have my religion ready to go. I am a Thai (there are two schools) buddhist(I'm pissed with the Dalai, he's anti-gay) agnostic, pacifist, naked bloke worshipping (no touching, just looking) High Priestess of the Cult of Blog. I tried to work in my worship of fat foods but I'm saving that in case they ask questions about health.