Sunday, August 31, 2008


Spring tomorrow. Goodbye to 31 days of absolute shite involving physical and mental disintegration.

I had to severely slap myself around last night and acknowledge that sometimes, medication is neccessary, very much needed and should be taken without guilt. So I've upped the mind and body equalizers until I get to level ground above this pit of blackness.

I cannot help anybody else. I can't equate their problems with mine and think mine are not as bad and I should be grateful. I'm in trouble, me *slap* so start with the basics, medication and stop feeling guilty that I have to give in and take it.

Constant physical and mental pain shortcircuits everything in most people. Sometimes it doesn't but with me, I tend to be waving okay with one hand and digging myself into the black pit with the other. I find it impossible to talk about it to anyone and yet I will help others without a second thought.

Blame my mother, I do. I've shut down emotions so tightly so that I can deal with her and I don't think I'll ever open up again. Besides it's no good raging at her, she forgets about it after an hour or so but I'm left with the self-recriminations of losing control. My sister deals with it better, she walks out and never thinks about it again. I'm made of weaker stuff.

Thank you Great Maker for Codeine, anxiety pills and muscle relaxants. I'm taking all of them until my glass becomes half full again.

Just to make sure I had a good dose of the irrits. A mother and daughter have shed 140kgs in 16 months. The daughter weighed 166kg. and now weighs 76kgs. She took Celebrity Slim diet shakes for breakfast and dinner, with a cooked lunch including lean meat, fish and vegetables and had a 30 minute walk each day. They said it was easier to lose weight together.

Here's the good bit, Melody's previous diet included up to two blocks of chocolate and a packet of Tim Tams each day. My initial reaction was anyone could lose if they dropped that kind of diet, second reaction was several four letter words because it wasn't me, third reaction was sliding down into the pit again but good luck to both of them if they hold on to those bodies they've gained.

I hate Tim Tams, I don't like chocolate biscuits at all, see there's a silver lining everywhere.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


I'm used to saying to people on the phone "Hang on while the plane flies through the lounge room" but today it was really too close.

A kilometre as the crow flies and I did hear both planes go overhead.

I didn't know anything else until my sister rang to tell me one of the nurses saw it come down as she was on her way to work.

Considering how long the airport has been there, there have been few really bad accidents. This one was a freak with two planes so close that one tipped the wing of the other.

It was very close to the school though and witnesses said the pilot tried to get away from it.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Peridot comes from the Arabic word "faridat" meaning gem or from the French word "peritot" which means unclear due to the cloudiness of the inclusions in large stones.
The depth of colour depends upon the amount of iron present in the stone which is composed of two minerals, Fayalite (iron rich) and Fosterite (magnesium rich).
It has a hardness of 6.5 to 7 and the most desirable colour being a sparkling vivid green as shown in the faceted stone of this ring.Peridot is the birthstone for August and the Zodiac stone for the constellation Libra. Legend has it as the favourite gemstone of Cleopatra.
Peridot is the gem variety of the mineral Olivine formed by volcanic activity. Tiny crystals are found in the black volcanic sands of Hawaii and in the extinct volcanoes of Victoria's Western District.
An unusual source of Peridot is the iron-nickel meteorites called Pallasites.
Myanmar, Pakistan and Egypt produce the best quality gems but they're found all over the world. Peridot has been mined as a gemstone for an estimated four thousand years and is mentioned in the Bible under the Hebrew name of Pitdah.
Ancient Egyptians called them the gem of the Sun and the priests drank from cups made of peridot believing it drew them closer to Isis, the Goddess of Nature. They also wore it as a talisman to protect against infection and evil.

While it stands alone in its beauty, it's also enhanced by complementary colours as in this necklace of cat's eye Kunzite, faceted Vesuvianite, pink Sapphires, faceted Peridot, faceted Rhodolite garnets and pink Keshi Pearls.
The silver bracelet by Stephen Dweck has Peridot, pearls, drusy, smoky Topaz and faceted smoky Topaz.


It's considered protective against evil and when set in gold, especially helpful against night terrors.
It was ground to powder and used as a remedy for asthma.
It brings friendship, prevents envy and is purported to lift depression.
It sources divine inspiration and signifies strength and happiness in both individuals and relationships.
It enhances the efficacy of medication and improves speech.

Monday, August 25, 2008


I'm a bit late with the birthstone for August which is Peridot and this isn't it but I loved the beauty of it and the way it was photographed.
It's Rhodochrosite, only 3.5 centimetres tall and looks like a pink blossom.
It's from the Wolf Mine, Betzdorf, Seigerland, Germany and was photographed by Wimon Manorotkul.


There's a lot happening in this MODIS image from NASA's Aqua satellite.
The ring shaped, rainbow-like glory in the centre is caused by the scattering of sunlight by a cloud made of water droplets that are all roughly the same size. It always appears in the spot directly opposite the Sun from the perspective of the viewer. It can appear on mountains and the giant shadow of the photographer is seen in the centre, the anti-solar point. In this image the Aqua satellite is too far away to cast a shadow.

In the upper right are phenomenon known as Von Karman Vortices. These appear downwind of islands tht perturb the flow of air like a boulder creates an eddy downstream in a river. This image was taken on May 20, 2008, over the Pacific Ocean.

Sunday, August 24, 2008


I'm still not sleeping well so I've been staying in the warm in front of the TV to the wee small hours.
I don't know what I'd do without a remote control, going from Channel 7 to Star Wars to SBS.

There was a bit of a snarky item in the Age this morning about two Olympic sports:
"Rhythmic gymnastics. The dry-land equivalent of synchronised swimming and just as silly......."
"Men's handball. A sport created by people who couldn't make the basketball or soccer team and played by countries who aren't very good at anything else......"

I don't see the difference between handball and beach volleyball except maybe more clothes but it still takes skill and this is coming from someone who's lucky to catch a cold. (I was ambushed by this virus, I didn't catch it)

The Rhythmic gymnastics which I landed on during my late night channel surfing was a joy. Maybe the heats weren't as good, I didn't see them just the finalists with the twirling ribbons. I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time so the idea of twirling a long silk ribbon and twirling a body with graceful moves without falling over doesn't seem to be silly just really difficult plus.

I'll be glad when it's all over. I'm sick of bursting into tears everytime the green and gold gets a medal and I did last night at the diving. I don't think I took a breath during M's dive and I loved the look on his face and his tears when he saw the score.

I'm not a sports fan so I'm blaming all this emotionality on this stupid virus. The bugs are going for a gold medal in endurance body destruction.

Saturday, August 23, 2008



Don't you love that headline. According to the article the cost of the obesity crisis has soared to $58 billion a year and taxpayers are bearing the burden. It seems that I must apologise to all the supporting thin people out there who are carrying me on their backs.

There has been a staggering (their words) 137% increase in cases of type 2 diabetes caused by excess weight. Chronic diseases such as heart disease, osteoarthritis and some forms of cancer have also soared as waistlines have expanded.

Now for some figures. 3.7 million Australians are obese. 17.5% of the population which could increase to 18.3% by 2025.
The biggest price of obesity came from lost wellbeing, and estimate of $49.9 billion. Lost productivity cost $3.6 billion, direct burden on the health system was $2 billion and carers' cost topped $1.9 billion.
The Federal Government had the biggest share, 34% of the bill, 30% was covered by the individual and 19% by family and friends.

But that's only for obese people not the overweight so the true cost could be higher. The experts want a ban on junk-food advertising to children, better food labelling and funding for lap-banding surgery. I'm all for the first two but surgery as an option, not for me. The report was from the Diabetes summit in Hobart.

I knew they were keeping those detention centres for a reason. Can a fattie round-up be close?

The increase in diabetes could be due to the fact that it's routine to test for it now. 25 years ago if you complained to your doctor about a raging thirst and weight loss then you had a test. 25 years ago we didn't know the fat content of a Big Mac, didn't know about low GI foods and didn't worry about letting the belt out another notch. We didn't have the internet to research and didn't have carbs, fats etc. labelled on our food. We also didn't have experts blaming fatties for ruining the country's economy.

I've ranted about this before but it really gets on my wick. Good food costs a lot, junk food doesn't. Supermarket shelves are laden with cheap chemical quick meals, just add meat. Rows of biscuits, potato crisps, soft drinks and sweets out number the rows of vegetables. Even the vegetables are suspect. Apples come from cold stores, garlic from China, oranges from California, in fact name a country and the supermarket will source food from it.

I'm looking at having organic food delivered to the house but the cost might be prohibitive. Everything I buy is wholegrain healthy. This week I had a free loaf from Baker's Delight and I grabbed the white hi-fibre low GI loaf and felt like I'd just scored a bag of ecstacy in a sleezy back alley. I'm doing my best, croissants and an ice-cream only on Sunday, bypass the chocolate aisle, drink water but I'm only human not Wonderwoman and I stress eat.

I'm very conscious of health. In the last three weeks, I've had a cousin, neighbour and friend die, two from cancer and one from Diabetes. My cousin was 53, the neighbour was 60 and the friend was 47. Two smoked, one had never been sick with more than a cold and none was obese or even overweight. There's no easy answer. More exercise? Another friend who is an athletic trainer says losing weight is 20% exercise and 80% diet.

What I need is someone to serve me three meals a day so I don't have to think about it.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


After declaring that I wouldn't bother watching the Olympics I've ended up plonked in front of the TV at strange hours because I can't sleep.

I watched the women's hockey with Australia and China. I use to play hockey, after a fashion. My main aim was not to run far, go anywhere near the ball or get hit with a stick and that was my hockey career. I know how hard it is to move the ball and not lose it at a walk but it was fantastic to watch the speed at which these players walloped it up and down the ground. I stuck it out to the end hoping the Aussies could pull off one more goal from nowhere.

I watched BMX races today. I thought about turning it off but the first time trial started and I was hooked. I used to ride a bike and staying upright was a challenge. The damn things almost fly and fast, more than fast. I have trouble walking and breathing let alone throw a bmx over a jump while pedalling and did I mention going fast.

Synchronised swimming, I'd drown. Hurdling, I'd fall over. Diving, just looking down from the tower makes me shake. My shoulders hurt watching the gymnasts on the rings, the high bar and the uneven bars.

I don't care how many medals Australia gets. It doesn't matter to me because to reach this level of brilliance is breathtaking. The athletes are disappointed enough without the armchair experts whinging that we haven't taken a big haul of gold.

Friday, August 15, 2008


I never thought I'd say that but I haven't turned it on once this week. Good old blogger put the scheduled one up last Sunday and that was it.

I've lost interest in computer, food, chocolate and I still haven't spent my birthday money.

A family of microscopic gerbils fleeing from an intergalactic war has taken up residence in my right lung. At least that's what it sounds like, squeaking and eeking away except at night when I sometimes think Darth Vadar is lying beside me. How did he cope with that bloody breathing, it never stops.

Sleep deprivation is the pits.

I have developed empathy with anyone who battles cystic fibrosis, emphysema, asthma and chronic fatigue syndrome.

I'm boycotting Panadol flu tablets because of their ridiculous ad. Poor bloke, got his holiday all booked and he gets a cold, oh woe! But no worries, he's off to some tropical island with sun and water so he takes his Panadol and enjoys himself. You selfish prick, you're still crawling with germs that you're taking on the plane, breathing all over the islanders, leaving on door knobs, in the water but, hey, you don't feel a thing, I'm on pills. Panadol is the pits.

Paracetamol is okay to take when your temperature is heading towards 39. Years since I took a temperature and didn't notice the red number which is normal so ring sis to find out what is danger level. Making sure Mum has her pills keeps me from noticing I only have two paracetamol rolling round in the bottom of my bag. Sis arrives 10 minutes later with large packet and rings every half hour until temp. is down a couple of points.

Ice cold Sprite lemonade is divine when one is trying to force down a piece of dry toast.

Tired now, must rest for a big afternoon. I found a date scone in the freezer and I'm going to need all my strength for high tea.

Sunday, August 10, 2008


Euan James 1971-1995

Mention the theme song from Titanic and people wince at the thought of Celine Dion's mangling of the English language and the words get lost. The first time I heard the song and really listened to it, I realised that it wasn't just for a lost lover.

Every night in my dreams

I see you, I feel you

That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance

and spaces between us

You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more you open the door

And you're here in my heart

And my heart will go on

Love can touch us one time

And last for a lifetime

And never let go till we're one

Love was when I loved you

One true time I hold to

In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more you open the door

And you're here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

There is some love that will not go away

You're here, there's nothing I fear,

And I know that my hear will go on

We'll stay forever this way

You are safe in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

Friday, August 08, 2008


I can feel the little virus battalians mobilising for total warfare. The only good thing about it is that Mother doesn't want me anywhere near her. A shame I feel too crook to enjoy the freedom.
Lemonade icy-poles win over Vinegar and Salt crisps any day.

I spent the day in bed after I staggered to the shop for the above goodies. I loved lying there with the sun shining in, books to hand, snot to my chin and bits of lung being hacked up. (anybody eating?) Lemonade icy-poles really help.

So I'm reading an article about locust swarms and why they swarm. Scientists have determined that the locusts in the lead aren't hungry, they're the ones who are well fed on protein and salt. It's the ones behind who aren't getting the food. They're hot for the fat bodies in front and the fat bodies have to start moving fast before they become the food for the hungries behind and so the swarming begins.

All the time I was reading that and looking at the locust feeding on another locust, I could picture Brendan the Brave twirling his little antennae hoping to outrun Malcolm the Mighty who is trying to keep ahead of Costello the Cunning. The swarming of the Federal Liberal Party should make a ripper of a horror movie.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008


Davo took his camera to Adelaide for a short break and photographed the sculptures in Rundle Street. I fell in love with these bronze pigs so in the tradition of great bloggers, I've stolen them from him.
You can see them in Rundle Mall at the junction of Stephens Place. The sculptor was Marguerite Derricourt.
They were commissioned by the Adelaide City Council and unveiled by Former Lord Mayor (Dr. Jane Lomax-Smith) on 3 July, 1999.

This is Oliver, at the bin

This is Horatio, sitting

Truffles is the standing pig behind Horatio, Oliver at the bin and missing is Augusta, the trotting pig.


I have a chest infection. The best thing for that is lemon juice, honey and ginger.

But I've developed an allergy to citrus fruit, mainly grapefruit and orange, so it's no citrus for the moment. The rash is clearing up, no grapefruit. The headaches aren't as bad, no grapefruit. Isn't it marvellous, the only things that grow in the garden are the citrus trees.

I went through another diet day unscathed.

My mother rang. She wanted to know who turned 60 last week, her or me. How that woman passed a mental assessment I don't know.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


This is big news.

I have managed to stay on a diet for twenty-four hours.

Why does one small pototo, half a small carrot, 2 Brussell sprouts, 1 shallot and 200 grams of Tofu look like it would feed a small family when it goes on a plate?

Another good day tomorrow then I have to shop on Thursday.

It will be tough.

Why don't cakes come with the kilojoules stamped on the bottom then I could cheat just a little.

It will be tough.

Saturday, August 02, 2008


The Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby invites you to the 4th annual Equal Love rally and Midwinta vows.While some progress has been made with an imminent Victorian Relationships Register, same-sex relationships are still not fully recognised in law and marriage is still banned.
We invite you and your friends, families, colleagues and neighbours to join us on Sunday August 3 to 'Stand up for your love rights'.

This is just not only about every gay couple in the village wanting to overwhelm churches and registry offices to get married. It's about having a choice whether or not to make a partnership official. Gays and Lesbians don't have this choice, it was denied them by an act of Parliament. An act that singled out their relationships as having no value to society. The current Government is not in a hurry to right a wrong but we're working on them. In a world of hate, let's go for love.