Monday, June 17, 2019

The weather, politics and Dutton are not worthy of conversation but ice cream is.

I've made this extra large, don't let it hit you in the eye but I have to start early to remind you my birthday is drawing near, well a month and a half but at my age one's friends have the same memory problems that I do.  Not that I should be thinking of beautiful rings since arthritis has hit my ring finger with a vengeance.  It's burning and painful and it has a habit of hitting every door right on the knuckle. I expect you to start saving now, I'm very high maintenance.

Apparently Amazon is selling a bracelet that gives you an electric shock if you eat too much food.  Buy me one at your peril.  I just stole that piece of crud from twitter so didn't bother to do any research on it, being totally shocked as I was.  It's bad enough being psychologically monstered for being big obese morbidly big as a small house would feed the starving of Africa but this is too much.  Now we, XXXXXXXL, are going to be physically attacked.  I really should go back and research because I cannot work out how the damn thing would know how much food I'd eaten to access my overeateness.  A leg of pork would weigh more than a tub of ice cream.  Does it have a direct line of communication with my stomach?  Does my stomach scream, "stop the bitch, I'm full to bursting"!  At the moment I'm going through a tub of passionfruit gelato but it's so cold, yum but stomach whines at the freezing and I have to have a cup of coffee to warm it up.  Why doesn't anyone make a decent passionfruit ice cream with real passionfruit not just flavour?  Sorry went off the track there, passionfruit does that to me and I had a vision of pavlova with passionfruit running down the sides of whipped cream.  Lost my train of fruit thought, about these bracelets and the size, the photo made them look small and since I just measured my wrist, I'd need one the size of a Dunlop.

I have bought a new cooker at last.  It's sitting in the lounge just waiting to be installed.  This is complicated, I bought it in the sales, the money I saved went on the delivery fee, cunning bastards.  It must be installed by a plumber or my insurance is out, umpteen certificates must be produced to say it is safe so whack $249 on the sale price.  Stupid me didn't ask how much to take it away, $20 but that is a lot of ice cream and I'll make the nephew take it out at hard rubbish time. For that price I refuse to clean it but it won't look too bad once I remove the foil.  I'll also remove the grill tray, for scone cooking. Take the side thingies out of the oven to grow my little tomatoes on this summer. The pot thingies on top will be good for sitting the pot plants on. I realize that this spotless white lovely cooker is going to make the rest of the kitchen look like a pig wallow.  Life was never meant to be easy or clean.  

Saturday, June 08, 2019

Cheers for our AFP

Yeah, Scomo and Dutton.   They're Cactus.

And I thank our AFP and their raids on everybody.  I am having a sign made for my front door.