I didn't know that Google has an archive of all my blog photos. Some very nice young men lounging about with nought wrapped around them, wish I could remember what you do with them. I do remember this diabolical trifle cake, I can practically taste it and I have the recipe but it's not a cake one can make standing on one leg. I did make it to Southland this morning after standing in the rain mumbling swearwords at Taxis but he was one of my regulars and after I had some trouble getting the gammy leg in the car, Prince Charming put it in very gently. Same with driver coming home and he offered to carry all bags to the front door. Stuff Uber. Cat has re-discovered the feather cushion on his chair and is quite comfortable. He sends shooting stares in my direction when he's hungry but it's bad enough that I have to stir up his kitty litter without hand feeding him on his chair. He goes outside, digs a giant hole, uses it then comes inside and pees in the litter box, WHAT CONTROL! HOW GOOD IS THAT! Yes, I am having a go at scummo the peasant. I would love to shut the mouth of that other vile shock jock but I refuse to put his name on my blog. I'd love to squash him flat like I did to the spider in the bed the other night. Rather creepy to get out of bed and see the poor thing, legs splayed out, body flat as a tack. I gave him another splat with the walking stick just to make sure. It means that I must start to tackle the clean up and soon, well as soon as I can stand on two legs.
I have just enough gin for one glass tonight then it's all over. The rates are in, House Ins is due and I paid $160 at the pharmacy most for pain killers so it's down to Asahi low carb beer, one bottle a fornight. I'll have to re-label my 50c tin, Bombay Emergency Fund and I'm half way to a bottle. Next time I see an ad for vitamins, I'll scream. They are so expensive, that's why the rich are living and us poor pensioners are dying. Does that make me a hypocrite, wanting to save up for gin when I really need vitamins? Absolutely not, everyone knows Bombay is a luscious blue pain killer, but I'll give up the glass and my lemons are growing a treat in the back yard - free.
So you can imagine what a whole Parliament can do to one's delicate constitution. Vile, evil bunch of snouts in trough, repugnant to look at and brain blowing to listen to. AND I ONLY GOT ONE CARD FOR MY BIRTHDAY and an email from my Harry Potter club. Leg is getting better, down to leaning on one stick and sometimes walking without. Swearing and snivelling is down several notches. At least I didn't break anything just scrambled whatever holds me up but I still haven't been out of the house, can't get down the steps or up the steps. Stop laughing, just think how many things you can't do standing on one leg while the other is screaming 'don't hurt me'. And it would be this time to have a wheel break on the computer chair. So in the great Karmic tradition, I'm sitting here making up a fourth leg on a chair. Time for bed and painkillers.
Not so short that I couldn't manage a wish photo. I need to be in bed with a book until the painkillers knock me out. Looking out of this window would be so soothing. The pain is going gradually but I still have to think before I stand up from sitting or bending. Such a stupid thing to do if I could remember what it was that I did. I only walked up one step, but I was holding 3 lemons in one hand and the mail in the other and usually I would hold on to the handle of the walker but I thought it was only one step but that one step took the whole weight when I used the other leg. I just knew something had gone very nasty in the hip/bum region, no breakage just something out of place. It was aggravated by getting up from the computer and once again putting the weight on the wrong leg. That's when the pain really got itself into gear and the swearing and sobbing started. I can bend from the waist, no problem but getting up to full height hurts unless I do it in a kind of ballet plie, you know with the legs turned out. Getting into bed was fun, the good leg went in first but the bad one was sort of hanging around for a bit of finding the damn mattress. Thank goodness I have a wrought iron bed head to hang on to and now I've decided not to get a new mattress and base. They all seem to be for people who have very long legs and can handle the height. The only thing I can do right is bend in half right up to the chair and fall back still bent in half then straighten up. Sounds weird but it works.
Good thing I haven't been standing on street corners selling off my pain prescriptions. And poor Barmy, I feel so sorry for him finding it tough to live on his extravagent Parliamentary pay packet. You should have done something about Newstart when you had the power to do it, whining mongrel. Every time he does whinge, when you really listen or read it, it's almost a slap in the face to the mother of his child.
Well I haven't got the room with a view but I do have a bed, I think I'll stagger off for a nap.
It's getting close, time's going way to fast but if you have any loose change I would love these earrings for my birthday. You might as well buy me something before the Canberra Cnuts take more money from pensioners. Remember old people saying not to put money in the bank or the taxman would grab it, well it's come true since idiots elected the biggest fraud party of all times. I haven't completely caught up with the latest but it seems we are to be taxed on the NBN. This might be a rumour but I would bet they'd tax a turd if it hit the side of the porcelain bowl. I keep getting calls from some woman who tells me if I don't hit the 1 button at the end of the call my NBN will be cut off which is strange because I'm not on NBN. Anyway if it wasn't her but someone else who just rang, sorry I didn't answer you but I'm balanced on 3 legs of my chair because I broke the roller ball on the other leg last night and I'd just got it in the right place to use the computer. Getting up will be a bit dodgy. I blame Mercury retrograde and the full black moon and the whole of July for everything going wrong. Like where is the other chair I could use and the pair of shoes I need for tomorrow. They're lost in the house somewhere and I can't move anything because of the gas stove still sitting in my lounge. Thank you Good Guys for making me pay up front for the installation.
Please don't let anything go wrong with the TV tonight, Star Trek is on. It's a lot more glittery than the moon landing. I know exactly where I was when that boot left it's print, in a RADIO newsroom so yes, I'm old and a pensioner and I don't want a rocket to Mars using my money. I wasn't such a space nerd then so I just looked, meh, went back to work on a non electric typewriter. I was more excited when Ballard hit the Titanic and there was that dainty little chandelier still hanging from the ceiling. We might have more information about the moon now but undersea exploration has hardly been touched and we need to know what's down there not on some planet we might fly to one day. All that space junk circling the earth is treasure we really could re-use so come on Richard Branson, start up re-cycling rocket company and bring back the gold floating in the black. I've been trying to put up a post about the plastic junk in the sea which I blogged about years ago (ahead of the times I am) but those notes are also lost with the chair and the shoes. The gist of it is, how many tsunamis have put plastic in the oceans since 2000. I have two lists and I keep finding one and losing the other. Bloody Mercury.