Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Please 2.6 million dollars for Christmas isn't asking too much, is it?

Mine, mine, mine!
The inside plan
Any house can have a staircase but a divided staircase, that's just class.

Since my current shack is too small for a Hippo fountain bird bath and this has just come on the market, I'm thinking of moving.  It's not Toorak and not that old but is just 15 minutes away.  My mother and I watched it being built and loved it but Dad would never slow down enough for us to have a really good look.
I love the stair case but looking over the plan I'm sure I could put in a lift for one somewhere. 
I hate the thought that some creepy developer would pull it down and build townhouses for gnomes over the block.
To have a good look, nick over to Domain and get houses for sale in Cheltenham and make up your own mind about the decor.  It does not look over rooftops but across the road is the parkland retreat for the Nuns of both denominations. 

Mick the Mower would be in heaven with the money he'd make from those lawns.
I'm still trying to decide which bedroom would be the library but I think I'll have to go for the bow window music room.  Floor to ceiling books and one of those ladders on wheels to reach. Downstairs, I must have one wall of glass to show my China dolls or my crystal glass collection (rude noise to Highriser).  
I know I'd lose weight, look how far away the tv room is from the kitchen, I'd need a maid who'd hand me a plate, tell me that's all I'm getting and that she's hidden the sweeties somewhere in the mansion.  Up and down those stairs, weight gone and me as well, written on my tombstone, Chocolate does kill.  The IceBear could have his own room with kitty toys and en suite kitty litter. He's not good with directions, I might lose him for a week or two.

I hope the photos don't come out with copyright all over them, after all I'm giving the realtor free advertising.

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

It's crawling towards Christmas.

First of the Christmas "I want" list.  Glass baubles, big deal you say but these are special. Remember Mt. Saint Helen having a tantrum that did more damage than Trump in a China shop?  It was really last century, lord I feel old.  So, baubles, blobs of glass spun into glittery things and not just for Christmas.  I am looking at one above the computer, I love it because it looks like that photo of Earth taken from Space.  I have another hanging from the chandelier in the bedroom, plain glass with seagulls flying etched around it. Another in the Entrance Lobby (watching too much "escape to the country") which is burgundy and I managed to find burgundy drops in another shop, matches the rosewood furniture. Yes, my Lobby has furniture.  Going round the corner to the toilet with the lop-sided sign, thank you, useless ex, I have hanging from the ceiling my Universe. I put them up one Christmas and found out it was good Feng Shui if they swayed in the breeze and sent the bad Chi on its way.  No lead crystal here just the most fragile of coloured glass, matt gold balls and mirrored baubles.  The stars on the ceiling used to glow in the dark but they super nova'd over the years and I can't climb the ladder to lever them off.

Now these glass balls are heavy and like good glass have ash in the melt, Mt St Helen's ash. How good is that? Shut up, it's terrific to me and I want both of them, I'm greedy.

As usual the Black Dog has been dogging my brain (cute, I'm getting my sense of humour back) and watching mother almost die every week is emotionally draining and physically draining every time I fall over so by the time I sort out the walking mess that is me, days have disappeared.  Falling asleep in the chair is still going on, the cat threw up on my foot and I didn't wake.  I am just not in this world at the moment.  My sister rang again and that always makes me so glad..not.  I think I'll have it written in my Will that if I was too fragile to punch her, I want someone hired to slap her if she goes near my grave. 

That is something else to be done, check the plot, I haven't be there since the bushfire dropped a walloping great fir tree near it.  I need to measure up the plaque for mother and measure where the flowers went up in smoke so I can put the new ones in, she made me promise. I could get a taxi there and walk back but the paths are wonky and I refuse to ring 000 and ask for an ambulance to find the fat lady down in the middle of a cemetary.  I hated to ask nephew since he works 6 days a week and Sunday is all for his little boy but he has promised to make time. I have a feeling that time is short.  

Tuesday, November 06, 2018

Ring ring from Yeppoon

Such a lot of wisdom in that.  Communication is important except when it's a cold caller for some rubbish or a sister who's communication comes across like a soggy biscuit dropped in a cup of tea. The most infuriating thing that can happen, dropping the Teddy biscuit in a cup of tea.

This is usually me on the phone listening or trying to talk to my sister.  It's definitely me at least two hours after I put down the phone trying to calm myself.

She rings to tell  me it's shining brightly on the coast and it's raining in Melbourne. Biatch, I'm in Melbourne and don't know it's raining. (crazy stage)
She's off to the pub, booked a table and half price lunch to watch The Cup. I wondered to mother the other day if wrinkle face was still cementing with make up before she left the house.  Apparently only if she's going to the pub as there is a little problem with the muggy heat and she has to sit in front of a fan for half an hour to set her face or everything runs down her neck. (insane stage)
She won't be betting too much after all she on a pension now.  This from someone who would back horses in Toowomba at midnight cross-eyed from too many Fosters (psycho stage).

Haven't rung Mum, is she still with us? (psycho stage with desire to face slap hard).

Funny how I keep getting these calls though, I'm sure I don't have a sister.

Sunday, November 04, 2018

Still standing for this month

Well sometimes it is when I feel 100 years old and still crawling down to the Home when I really want to stay at my home and finish Christmas presents and wrap what I already have instead of doing it all by next July.
I didn't get approval, I was given a compliment. An elderly (probably 2 years older than me) said how lovely I looked in my green dress, she just loved green.  The dress is 18 years old and still fits so how come my backside is also 18 years fatter and hasn't busted a seam?  I almost feel guilty about the tub of salted caramel ice-cream that is siren calling me from the back of the freezer.
I have enough guilts from the last few weeks.  I committed double homicide for one, terrified my mother for another by describing the size of the huntsman roaming the ceiling while I was talking to her on the phone.  If he had stayed in the curtains he'd have been safe but it had to roam and then disappear.  He had two choices of landing, the Christmas box or the wool basket and I was not putting my hand in either.  I eventually found him on the floor giving me the evil eye so I left him there.  I came out two days later and he is swinging from the ceiling, dropping lower and lower.  It means I'll have to search for him again but it didn't take long, quite dead and curled up on the carpet. Total surprise because I usually wait until I can catch them in a platic bag and throw them outside to live or die by Magpie.  My fault, huge blowfly came in the back door and he got sprayed, can't stand the memories of backyard dunnies and swarms of blowies.  I assume he floated within range of the huntsman who chomped the free meal and was swinging from the ceiling not in fun but dying agony.  Just to top the guilt when I threw the body out, a magpie ate it and since there is no dead bird in the backyard, I have not committed triple homicide.

I have not fallen over for weeks. 
I haven't been to the pokies.
I have been too busy making out my Christmas list.  It's a long list full of expensive goodies.
I have found the perfect conservatory for my style of house.
I need to win Tattslotto to build it.
My granddaughter and great granddaughter are another year older.
And tomorrow is the anniversary of my Decree Nisi, oh frabjous day.

Now start saving for my Christmas presents, list will be posted soon.