Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Around the Pins

 This is a swimming pool built around an aquarium. You swim on the outside, the sharks swim on the inside and we all know how wrong that can go. I remember being taken to the aquarium at Sorrento or somewhere down there, I was young and impressionable.  I was standing close to the glass fascinated at being so close to live fish, I never saw the shark coming until it was practically cruising through one ear and out the other. And all that stuff they tell you about, like banging it on the nose, shoving a finger in its eye to save yourself, forget it. I went straight to freeze mode and I still do that at the beach if a piece of seaweed touches me. And it looks a bit deep and dark in that pool, on  the fish side, I have no idea what's around the corner where the light is coming from, hopefully a floating bar with a G&T.
 Now I'm down sizing myself here from the grand to the minute, I mean I still want the big conservatory out the front of the house but this would be just perfect to extend from the kitchen as a breakfast nook. I'd ditch the greenery, can't see the birds feeding but I could make that into padded seats  with tables in fronts. I hate the stupid little light though, ruins the atmosphere of luxury.
 I'll have something like this, pretty in the sunlight and gorgeous lit up on a dull day. River, it's high up, no-one will ever see the dust for a couple of years at least.
Now, in the golden days of blogging, we did have food blogs. Great cooks making up meals for the family, and if we were lucky a photograph of the actual dish not photoshopped into perfection.  This was before everyone had a phone and tweeted every cup of coffee and muffin they scoffed at "this divine little place hidden down a back lane".  Pinterest cake boards are a world on their own, kilojoules leap from the screen and grab you by the throat before you have time to click out.  Even I, the cake queen, could not contemplate eating this monstrosity. It's a Neapoliton chocolate chip cookie cake and it has 47 ounces (don't ask me to convert it, I'll hurt you) of sugar in it. That isn't cream between the layers, it's sugar icing cream and I've never seen pink choc chips before and hope never to again. I almost went on a diet when I saw this.  Next time some person whines about what we eat I'll whip up a batch of wholemeal scones, unadulterated cream (not squirted out of a can) and homemade jam and make a real leaf pot of tea and enjoy it.
Don't ask about mother.

Friday, May 23, 2014

They say time flies but does it have to pretend it's a Concord?

Hello River, you wanted a photo of my new hair cut and here it is and don't think I don't look like this before I've had my morning coffee, a pee and kicked the cat out for his.

I can't believe how long it is since I blogged and so much to blog about but one must be careful these days what with ASIO listening and reading every nasty comment about the authors of that stinking budget. Do you realize they will be the only people in Australia with a confirmed job til the end of their 70 years considering the number of blogs, twitter and facebook abusing this heartless government.
My sister is coming up to retirement after 38 years of nursing, 12 months to go, 12 months of pain in knee joints, back and spine. She's looking forward to the day she doesn't have to deal with death and relatives and can spend hours with books and her garden.  If they do anything to her 'Super' then she's leaving immediately and hiding the whole lot under the bed.

Also, Science, forget anything to do with science especially stem cell research or environmental research or anything else biological.  We are in the hands of the Flat Earth Society.  Even my beloved Synchrotron only has funding for two years.  Scientists have just used this marvel to develop a test for Malaria, a disease which kills over a million people a year of the 300 million infected world wide. I'll do another post on this later.

Besides abusing politicians, I've been throwing out more stuff.  Lovely to see 4 big bags of clothes go to charity the other day.  Not mine, I'm still wearing my rags but the BOH has not worn these for two years, wouldn't know what was there and what was would be far too small for him now. I left his best clothes packed, it's handy for his birthday as I just pick out something and wrap it up. His doona covers and new towells so we're down to just 3 packed bags.  All I have to do now is move a tonne of books, shift that huge picture frame and I can get down the hallway. There are about 100 videos needing to be tossed out, just the videos not the covers, I use those to keep my documentaries in.

I had a list of what needed to be done in each room, it was overwhelming for someone allergic to housework.  So I broke it into small lots, still overwhelming. It's now down to clean that 25cm piece of shelf, hang up 3 dresses and put 10 books away. I'm also going through magazines and only keeping the articles I want.  I think to date I've ditched about 80 craft magazines and I know they should have gone to the op shop but heavy, as in weighing a elephant and I don't drive so I clenched my jaw and tossed the lot but keep the patterns and a folder with good stuff. Don't ask about the garden.

What with mother, chucking out, cleaning (some) washing, and swearing at politicians (bastards) it has been tiring.  How tiring you ask?  Try sitting at the computer to have a luxury half hour at Pinterest and wake up an hour later with the computer keyboard stamped on your forehead.  Hmmm, Pinterest, maybe just for a while before I start moving books and picture frames, I mean they're not going anywhere.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

If you...

...didn't laugh out loud at this, then you're in serious need of therapy.  I'm still laughing and I think I'll have to put it on the fridge door for the morning blues.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

It's all gone now.

This could have been me 20 years ago.  I had this much hair and I wore it like this with jewelled combs and I dyed it bright Titian red.  I loved my hair when I went red, I felt as though I had become the real me.  No more now, still red, I mean I couldn't  do that to myself but as I walked to the home I detoured through the hairdresser's I've been passing for the last four years.
Nice bloke, nearly choked when he asked how long since I'd had a cut and I said 1975.  He kept asking if I was sure I wanted to do this before the scissors went to work.
It was time.  The last 4 years of stress, medications and ageing has taken its toll of the long and once lustrous locks.  I was finding it harder and harder to colour, wash and bung the whole lot in rollers.  If I didn't do the rollers, it was 'Sideshow Bob' all the way. 
He did ask if I wanted the ponytail to take with me.  Lordy no, it looked dead, lifeless, ratty as though a kid had had enough of luxury Barbie and decided to become a shearer for the day.
I thought I might have some regrets but not a jot, I'm starting a new life albeit in the same old fat body but the hair feels just right.
Mother approved, said I looked younger.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

It's mine

Okay so I have Champagne tastes on beer money.  I want this at the front of my house.  I have the room and it would annoy the neighbours so much.  Neighbours who stuffed things in my garbage bin again yesterday when it was already so full, I wondered if the truck would lift it. Idiots.  I'll have it in a lighter colour, not white, perhaps buff and some leadlight, Tiffany style.  All the other conservatories I have in my wish book don't have the gorgeous glass cupola which will take a whopping great chandelier. It won't get hot and won't get cold, I'll invest in triple glazing.  Thank goodness I've finished posting, now I can get on with the Chandelier search.

Continued from down there

This is such a brilliant idea for clutz handed people like me who always manages to pour the hot water in the cup and take the teabag label to the bottom.  And on the subject, memo to cafes who provide straws for bottled drinks, make sure the straw stays above the height of the bottle.  I looked so ladylike last week as I had to try to scrabble for the disappearing straw but gave up and had to drink straight from the bottle.  I couldn't even hide, not sitting in the front window providing amusement to the passing trade.

And I still have one more image because I was keeping the best until last and blogger won't load it.
Okay I give up and will post it later.

Hell week.

It's been a bit of a monster week.  I've fallen asleep in the chair twice and woken up with my head on the computer keyboard and an hour missing.  Once more Lazarus has arisen but she can only make so many comebacks.  So I'm posting all the photos I was saving up for a week.  That portrait of a white cat by Kate Pugsley could really be the Ice Bear. He's not smiling, he's disapproving of my leaving and coming home well after his tea time and cutting down his outside time in the dark not to mention going to sleep in the chair when it's his time to have it.
And for the Fenstar Deluxe, this yummy corset which would look good in any colour but the racy purple looks so luxurius. 
Miss O'Dyne alerted me to this wow bed. That's not a painting above but a real aquarium. How relaxing to lie there and count fish until you fell asleep but with all aquariums it would be a real swine to clean.  I get up enough during the night now without fish sloshing about and making water music but it does look great.
And being on the subject of water, my dream bath. It has steps and I'm sure putting in handrails wouldn't take away from the loveliness. I don't like the look of the tap so handrails and taps will be gold plated and spa jets installed. It's a bit closed in so it will have to have window looking out to a small enclosed courtyard. This really looks like a renovated cellar but I've never found another bath that had the steps I've always wanted.
No, it's not a pool, not water but stained concrete with a polished surface.  American, of course, and it comes in several colours which look like marble.  I need this for my laundry. Stupid ex never fixed the dripping hot water hose to the washing machine and it was only a tiny drip but over months it managed to get in under the cork tiles and saturate the concrete. I managed to chip up the wet tiles but the dry tiles defeated me.  I need a strong man with a big sander to get it all back to the base. I was only going to paint it then with pavement paint but I so love this look but I want it in pink marble finish. Every time I looked at this colour I'd want to pee.
Damn, blogger won't load my last two images so continued above.

Monday, May 05, 2014

Those were the days

I've been tidying and throwning out and if the bin inspectors take a look next garbage day, I'm blaming it all on the BOH.  Anyway I found a folder way back in the bottom drawer and I've been laughing for the last half hour.  Remember the good old days when computers were things of wonder and blogs were a joy to read before Facebook came and turned brains into jelly?  Nothing like a good cup of coffee and the daily email meme to start the day.
This meme has a date of Monday, 25 October, 2004.  Only the name has been changed of the retired subject.


A man died and went to heaven.
As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. 
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks.  Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's, The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.  The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Tony Abbot's?" asked the man.

"Tony's clock is in Jesus' office.  He's using it as a ceiling fan." 

It just goes to show that a good meme never dies, it's just recycled as required.