Some people leave footprints on our heart. Cats leave fur on our sweaters. Dogs leave drool on our shoes. Families will crap on our doorstep. So when life gives you crap, garden it and make roses.
Friday, December 30, 2011
One last ChrisPic
Me Mam doesn't want me to be wandering around in the hot sun so I get to stay home with the air-con and read the extremely expensive book I indulged myself for Christmas. I've only flicked through it so far but Boucheron makes lovely jools and a sneak through their archives shows who bought and re-sold what and for whom. All the 'Grande Horizontals' of the Fin de Siecle were customers of Boucheron and I was surprised by how many of them survived well into the 20th Century. La Belle Otero and Liane de Pougy were courtesans and great rivals in men and jewellery. Liane heard that Otero intended to dine at Maxim's wearing every jewell she possessed. She allowed La Belle to arrive then entered wearing a simple white dress without a single ornament, but followed by her maid, who, according to which version you like, was bowed down by a burden of diamonds or carrying a large cushion of Madame's jewells. Such a grand putdown almost as good as the swipe to the Duchess of Windsor, who put on a show of her latest emeralds only to hear a Maharani comment that she had been wearing those gems on her ankles only months before. They were returned to the jeweller the next day.
So I had another day at the Home where I picked up the escapee twice when he fell, called the bingo and had my suggestion of a small jumble sale hailed as good fun. It will be combined with a sausage sizzle, a car boot sale and no doubt I will bring home more than I take down. It's all very well to have a Pink Ribbon afternoon for charity but not when the Activities fund is down to its last $50. Fortunately it's now looking a bit more healthy with sales of Coppy brooches going like the clappers.
I have booze, dvds and San Churro chocs for tomorrow night and just me alone with myself, the perfect New Year's Eve.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
It's all go at The Home.
A set of scales that tell you everything including how many calories you need to keep your present weight or lose weight, $169.00 reduced to $49.95. Bargain.
I've been at the Home for the post Boxing Day BBQ. I have to say that the new head girl has a real team leader spirit and everything event that I dreaded having to go to has been a blast. The staff did all the cooking today, sausages, chops, hamburgers and garlic and herb bread. The sweets were out of this world, trifle made with sponge and crushed strawberries, chocolate ripple cake, fruit salad and one of the nurses husbands turned up with an enormous fresh chocolate cakes with strawberries on top. And icy cold Cascade light beer and wine. But best of all, laughter, lots of it. Something that's been missing for a while and I'm sure it had nothing to do with most of them being half pissed.
If this is my mother's last Christmas, it's been a beauty.
And no, I'm not taking my BGL until the New Year. I would like to enjoy the last days of 2011.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
24 hours of mayhem
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Are we there yet?
|Twas the night before Christmas|
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a louse.
Friday, December 23, 2011
The Christmas hurt
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
This wonderful cloud called a Kelvin-Helmholtz instability, appeared over Birmingham, Alabama this week.
The name is a combination from Lord Kelvin - a Scottish baron who along with German physicist Hermann Helmholtz - came up with an explanation for the freak occurrence.
It's also called a wave cloud and occurs in regions with vast plains where winds quickly change speed creating turbulence. A fast -moving lighter density cloud, usually a layer of Cirrus cloud, slides on top of a slower, thicker layer, dragging out the surface and creating a wave rolling over water effect.
For more lovely clouds here's the site to visit.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Usually the entertainment is on first then food but this way it was much better as it filled in the time and no-one got restless. The nurses had cooked most of the food themselves so it was nice and fresh and the only fail was the salmon mousse on cucumber slices which they didn't recognize as food. I gave it a top pass, they were delicious. The nurses were great as they bought out the mushed food that some residents can swallow and fed them at the same time so they didn't feel as though they were missing out.
The BOH picked me up around 6.30 and was wearing a nice new shirt. First time in 20 years, his father managed to remember he wasn't 12 years old nor an XXXL size, he did forget to remove the price tag though. BOH came home about midnight, said hello, had a swig of coca cola from the fridge and without a word disappeared again. I still haven't seen him but he never drives when he's been drinking so he's probably sleeping on someone's floor. The thing is, I now have another car in the drive. Datsun is missing, station wagon is missing, black ute is at the factory with a big 'For Sale' sign but a little blue car has taken their place.
Silver ute is still here, owner hasn't stumped up the cash for the polishing job. Sometimes I feel as though I'm living in that computer game, "Gone in 60 Seconds". He'll turn up eventually, green around the gills. He, like myself, did not inherit the family gene for booze tolerance.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I heart Doc Marvin
Friday, December 09, 2011
Update: Datsun is back in carport. Silver ute is here to be polished. Black Ute is sitting somewhere with a big "For Sale" sign on it. And the BOH has just driven the station wagon back to work. He lives another day.
Thursday, December 08, 2011
Christmas suddenly doesn't feel that close.
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
It's beginning to feel a lot like Crapmas
The world is getting weird particularly my world. My mother wears a colostomy bag and I do the fiddly things that have to be done for her difficult condition. It's an hour of my life I'll never get back and my fingers hurt because I have to roll up the bottom with a stick strip and fold over, making sure the fold over bits go to the outside. TMI, sorry, it's life.
So to make things easier because the nursing staff just throw the whole lot into the hazardous waste and never open the bottom with the sticky strip, I thought I would ring the Ostomy Association and get exactly the same bag without a bottom sticky strip opening. No, they're not allowed to change the bags on my say so. I have to ring the District Nursing Service, who rings the stomal therapist, who rings the nursing home, who rings the doctor and then she makes an appointment to thoroughly go through mother's records etc. I know more about my mother's unusual condition than any stomal therapy nurse anywhere. I ring mother with the bad news (for me) and she said "no, bloody hell no". I thought she'd forgotten how to swear, she's always telling me off. "I hate those know-it-all bitches. You keep folding the ends."
She then tells me that she needs to buy a TENS re-chargable unit for the pain in her shoulders. She says it makes her comfortable, my sister says it's all in her head. The Home physiotherapist was going to order it but decided for some reason that I should do it and handed everything over to mum. So I'm going to walk in there with something that has to be charged like a cell phone and could give her heart a jolt if it's not okay but I can't walk in and hand over a plastic excrement bag, ostomy not my sister. I will take it to the office where it will be checked and re-checked by the electrician but I want to know why it's my job not the physiotherapist's. Her excuse was the high cost of the unit and she wanted me to be responsible.
The only joyous part of this morning was getting a parcel I've been waiting for except it was my address but not my name. Bless a company that put a phone number on the return and it turns out it is for 73 just up the street. It'll take me five minutes and I'll count that as my 30 minute day walk.
I tell you, the siren call of the soothing gin is getting stronger.
Monday, December 05, 2011
Throw another krill on the barbie
Let me introduce you to Leviathan mellvillei, he's the bigger whale eating the big whale.
He's named after Herman Melville, author of 'Moby Dick' and a favourite book of mine.
Klaas Post of the Natural History Museum of Rotterdam in the Netherlands discovered the ancient whale's fossils on the last day of a brief fossil-hunting expedition in 2008 in the Peruvian desert.
When they saw the huge teeth they knew it wasn't a baleen whale and it turned out to be a giant sperm whale.
I've been cleaning out bits and pieces from my misc. file and I can't think how I managed to miss this beauty. I love the take on the 'Jaws' poster. I'm posting it now because of another weird experiment going on. Scientists are confident that they can bring back the woolly Mammoth from frozen DNA, perhaps only five years away from success. And every week, another species is declared extinct on our planet.
Why don't they bring this baby back and dump him in the middle of a Japanese "scientific" whaling fleet? Now that would be worth the money.
The Christmas Gobsmack
Sunday, December 04, 2011
I have a virus and an allergy
Friday, December 02, 2011
Never thought I'd welcome December
After all the hoo-ha about 11-11-11, I can only say it was an excuse for every psychotic nitwit to crawl out from underneath their rocks and annoy me including my own family. It looks like they're going to keep going right into 2012.
I have been trying to dry out since Wednesday when I was caught in every major downpour the sky decided to dump on Melbourne. I can count on Saturday's downpour as well which kept me bailed up in the hotel with an unvisited list of bead and chocolate shops. But Wednesday had to be the best. Picture four of us huddled together at the bus stop under umbrellas which kept the top half reasonably dry but the bottom was filling faster than Lake Eyre. The only bloke in the group had his shoes filling from the water running down his trousers. I couldn't find enough curse words for a cheap made in China for Avon umbrella which, if it wasn't pushed into the wind blew itself inside out with great ripping and shredding. My fault for not taking the big Australian made beauty but who thought that stepping out the front door in sun meant rounding the corner into the Cape of Storms.
2kms to Doc Marvin, where he laughed off the double figures in the BGL book because I tried to beat the anxiety and panic attacks by going way out of my comfort zone. Kindly gave me two sterile bottles in a big bio-hazard bag in return for the jam jar full of top quality non-Perrier water. No infection and no sugar despite the big 72 hour readings.
Over to the bus stop then, I mean I was already wet and walking home would soak me as much as going on to mother but Miss O'Dyne had sent her a letter and she does love a letter to open. A big thanks to Miss O'Dyne from mother (she is available for adoption). Doc Marvin had upped the pain relief again so she was looking a lot better than on Monday. Anyone complaining to me about nurses striking is liable to get kicked since it was an agency nurse who forgot to give the old girl the proper medication on Sunday, that's two Endone now, not the one that you read on the notes the last night you were at the Home. Read notes every time. Stupid! Once the pain runs past the medication, it takes a while for everything to catch up and settle.
I will go down tomorrow because we have a room to ourselves and I don't have to put up with the strangler, mad E who continously mistakes me for husband Murray and drop all her clothes anywhere A, usually near me. I have also been invited to La Porchetta's, the volunteers' afternoon tea, the residents Christmas party, the residents Christmas lunch and, goddess help me, the post Boxing Day BBQ.
All I want for Christmas is a rock, with a very large hole underneath vacated by a November nitwit.
*wanders off singing loudly "I will survive"*