Friday, June 16, 2006


Yesterday didn't happen. I refuse to acknowledge yesterday at all from the early morning when my mother said that thing wasn't working until nightfall when I was ready to reach down the phone and rip out a nurse's throat. My mother's thing that wasn't working, it was her memory. So yesterday is in limbo and will remain there.

Today I went to see that film about the book that everyone hates because he is making squillions from it. If I don't mention the name, no-one can google me. It would have been worse if I hadn't been in Gold Class courtesy of my Christmas present ticket and working my way through the dessert menu courtesy of my Christmas present food ticket. I would have had my feet up but I can never work the stupid button on the side of the comfy chair and besides I would have to lean too far for the food.

Memo to self: Never go to one of those black out trendy food places where I have to wear a blindfold and the place is in total darkness. It's supposed to enhance the appreciation of the food if you can only taste it. I'd die of starvation. I can't find my mouth in a theatre where there is a small amount of light. It's very embarassing when the lights go up and you're wearing a necklace of marachino cherries that somehow missed being hoovered up with the cheesecake.

The film was ordinary. I'm glad I read the book or I would have missed the primary plot, being as it were, holy (pun intended) absorbed by the secondary plot. That is, the mystery of Tom Hanks' disappearing botoxed forehead. He starts offwith a 3 storey high forehead and straight across hair and ends with worry lines and a widow's peak. For the first hour there is no expression above his eyebrows and his squishy little eyes don't move a lot either. When did he have the stroke? I mean he only talks using the right side of his mouth although at the end there is a slight movement that shows teeth on the left. It was fascinating watching the various lumps, bumps and furrows slowly appear. He has a face that lumps, bumps and furrows can only improve. I hate to think what he'll look like by the time he makes the next Langdon film.

People complained it was too talky but I didn't think so. There wasn't enough of the Louvre, or Westminster or the Chapel in Scotland. I'm still stumped as to who could have played Langdon other than Hanks. On that note, I watched 'Zulu' the other night and please don't ever have Hollywood remake that film. It's a little dated but Stanley Baker and Michael Caine and the cast of British character actors are still great to watch. I'd have actually paid Gold Class prices to see that.


Unknown said...

I thought the film was quite ordinary too but watchable.

The most painful thing about it was that I forgot to empty my now-smaller bladder before the lights went down! The last half hour of the movie was therefore excruciating.

JahTeh said...

Ron, I think it would have been better as a mini-series, sort of clue by clue episodes. I can think of a few English actors who would have been better in the part.

I remember to do the emptying part before I order the coca cola or black coffee these days.

Jeremy said...

I'm still stumped as to who could have played Langdon other than Hanks.

Harrison Ford, as described in the book?

JahTeh said...

At first I thought of Indy with the whip but then I remembered him in the college classroom looking nerdy. So a possibility, yes.

BwcaBrownie said...

Pleased to hear you had some R&R.
Movie Enjoyment, Rule 1. wear a clothing pattern which will accomodate bits of chocolate dropped on it.

BwcaBrownie said...

oh ron has turned his blog off.

JahTeh said...

Brownie, I forgot to mention that when I left gold class that a woman a few chairs over had dropped an entire box of popcorn on the chair and floor. I didn't feel so bad after that.